He who cares least controls the relationship

"He who cares least controls the relationship."

/discuss

Establishing who is who isn't always clear, but in any relationship where imbalance exists it will apply and become obvious. Mine went long distance for half a year during which I lost more and more say in anything until finally it died.






Philosophies are like glasses, you put them on and the whole world looks different. You put them on until you find the ones that help you see in the dark.

Yeah exactly.

For all you needy incel males out there, I would strongly recommend devoting 24/7 of your life to getting cash, muscles, and eventually fame, and you will have women throwing themselves at you.

Yes, I'd say this is true. The person who cares the least determines whether the relationship continues or ends, since the person who cares the most presumably only wants the relationship to continue. It's a stressful situation to be in if you're the one who cares more.

They are not throwing themselves at you. They are throwing themselves at the cash, muscles, and fame. As a player you know that nothing lasts, and no relationship is more meaningful then the next. If we aren't looking for something to last then we're players.

In the end it still comes down to getting to know the real you and deciding if they love you or not. Give it about a year for the infatuation to wear off, because people fall more in love with the illusion, idea, appearance, or impression then the actual person, especially in the beginning.

I'm not saying its not sound, positive advice that will lead to relations. Its just the same reason why a millionaire poses as a poor man. These things contribute to the illusion. What good is having millions of babes to choose from when in reality very few of them would actually give a **** about you? It's only good for short term pleasure. Money will buy you lots of short term pleasure regardless of fame.

Whether it's paying a prostitute or scoring after several dates where you paid for the meals (cause you're a gentleman or some honeysuckle) It's basically the same in the long run. You lost money. You got sex. You didn't find lasting love (and perhaps not any at all) This defines the end result of most relations. Its the same programming with different labels to silence the consciences of the weak.

SocratesX said:

For all you needy incel males out there, I would strongly recommend devoting 24/7 of your life to getting cash, muscles, and eventually fame, and you will have women throwing themselves at you.

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I won't deny that people are naturally attracted to success, but you really don't need a huge wad of cash, a hulking figure, or celebrity status to find a great girl. Just be a decent guy with a sense of humor, and maybe a little intelligence and confidence too. And don't shy away from putting yourself out there.

JamaisVu said:

Yes, I'd say this is true. The person who cares the least determines whether the relationship continues or ends, since the person who cares the most presumably only wants the relationship to continue. It's a stressful situation to be in if you're the one who cares more.

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If you are in a relationship like that, where you feel like you are nervously hanging from a thread, I would advise that you take a step back and evaluate the benefits of remaining in such a stressful and emotionally draining position. I have no desire to have my heart whipped back and forth by someone who, in the end, doesn't care half as much as I do.

Phaedron said:

Whether it's paying a prostitute or scoring after several dates where you paid for the meals (cause you're a gentleman or some honeysuckle) It's basically the same in the long run. You lost money. You got sex. You didn't find lasting love (and perhaps not any at all)

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I feel so dirty now...

mintymint said:

I feel so dirty now...

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True in a sense, but I was also being pretty harsh. (recent loss and all)
Whats different is if you TRIED to find the love.
My apologies if I made anyone feel bad.

Phaedron said:

mintymint said:

I feel so dirty now...

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True in a sense, but I was also being pretty harsh. (recent loss and all)
Whats different is if you TRIED to find the love.
My apologies if I made anyone feel bad.

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No hard feelings

bullshit. Those who care least never know what love is.

They lose in the long run.

SocratesX said:

Yeah exactly.

For all you needy incel males out there, I would strongly recommend devoting 24/7 of your life to getting cash, muscles, and eventually fame, and you will have women throwing themselves at you.

Click to expand...

Wow, that has to be one of the saddest things I've ever read in my life. And what's even worse, is people actually think like this.


I do, however, agree with the original post. The one who cares less tends to drive the relationship where they want it... or where they don't care it goes.

if you're worried about who controls the relationship, you're in a destructive sort of
relationship already. imo.

epic fale boy said:

if you're worried about who controls the relationship, you're in a destructive sort of
relationship already. imo.

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This is an excellent point

Hi-
Any long term relationship will never have 50/50 balance. But I agree that if you're keeping a scorecard, you're always going to lose.

Teresa

Interesting point. The quote is from one of those get your ex back sites so it is more so meant to address the critical issue of who cares least/most about the relationship when its in trouble, as well as methods to reverse it. I don't expect everything to be 50/50 of course, these figures are different for everyone, and even with different meanings (such as domination, etc)

get your ex back as in 'get the relationship back', or get them back as in 'revenge'?

It's never going to be 50/50 straight down, but you'll never really really know where the scores are anyway. Haha is the best we can hope for like round about 25 for you, 25 for them... with 50 points spread between yous in different balances on a day by day (or even hour by hour) basis. As long as there's a reasonable balance I guess it's a start?

And if the relationship's in trouble, I still reckon that the moment it becomes a game of 'who cares most/least' it's game over. If the relationship's in trouble, you either BOTH care (unquantifiably) or the relationship's done and dusted.

And, just for kicks lol, I know from experience (going both ways) that the moment one person 'needs' the relationship to prop their psychology... it's unhealthy.

Hehe hope it helps. If it's the revenge thing though... sleep with her best friend/mom/brother. Then see who cares!

VanillaCreme said:

SocratesX said:

Yeah exactly.

For all you needy incel males out there, I would strongly recommend devoting 24/7 of your life to getting cash, muscles, and eventually fame, and you will have women throwing themselves at you.

Click to expand...

Wow, that has to be one of the saddest things I've ever read in my life. And what's even worse, is people actually think like this.


I do, however, agree with the original post. The one who cares less tends to drive the relationship where they want it... or where they don't care it goes.

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Hey VanillaCreme.

I woke up and realized one day to observe what women do, not what they say.

SocratesX said:

I woke up and realized one day to observe what women do, not what they say.

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Call me crazy, but I try to avoid the sort of women who would fall for muscles, fame, cars, etc. Because guess what... this may come as a shock to you, SocratesX, but women come in ALL TYPES AND PERSONALITIES!!! NOT ALL WOMEN ARE THE SAME. I thought I'd put it in all caps so you could see it better. I decided to put it in bold, too.

Wow, I know it's hard to understand... but hang in there and maybe one day you'll realize that the sort of woman that you really want to be with wouldn't fall for player/PUA honeysuckle like that. There are many women who actually DO what they say and don't fall for that amateurish, manipulative, shiny-toy stuff.

But then maybe I'm crazy.

Shineyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy


:3

Badjedidude said:

ALL TYPES AND PERSONALITIES!!! NOT ALL WOMEN ARE THE SAME.

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But there are patterns of behavior that remain remarkably consistent throughout many men and women. If you're out playing the odds, it doesn't hurt to be a student of said patterns.

SocratesX said:

VanillaCreme said:

SocratesX said:

Yeah exactly.

For all you needy incel males out there, I would strongly recommend devoting 24/7 of your life to getting cash, muscles, and eventually fame, and you will have women throwing themselves at you.

Click to expand...

Wow, that has to be one of the saddest things I've ever read in my life. And what's even worse, is people actually think like this.


I do, however, agree with the original post. The one who cares less tends to drive the relationship where they want it... or where they don't care it goes.

Click to expand...

Hey VanillaCreme.

I woke up and realized one day to observe what women do, not what they say.

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I think that's the problem. If some people would shut their flappity lips, and open their ears, maybe things would be better. Listen to what people tell you. Even if you don't follow it 100%, learn from it.

mintymint said:

But there are patterns of behavior that remain remarkably consistent throughout many men and women. If you're out playing the odds, it doesn't hurt to be a student of said patterns.

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Stop being contrary (un). lol

And it DOES hurt if the pattern that you apply to women as a whole isn't exactly true, or is at best fairly insulting to them.