T
That Guy
Guest
So I'm new to these forums. Nice to meet you all.
I'm sitting here in my room right now trying to make sense of what has been happening to me over the past few weeks. I recently struck out with a waitress I've been trying to get to know for 2 years. Actually, I struck out with her a long time ago. I guess I never saw it. I'm a very regular customer and she knows how I feel about her but she's never treated me any different. Come to think of it, she has. I think she's been avoiding me. When we first met I was able to flirt and talk with her a lot, but I think she was just humoring me (as I'm sure waitresses are accustomed to doing). She's always smiled at me and been civil. I swore she liked my advances for the longest time. She even took things off my bill a couple times. But once I slipped her my number she changed. I think she thought I was trying to get into her pants, which wasn't the idea at all. I just didn't know how else to let her know how I felt. And now I think I've been scaring her in the past weeks trying to talk to her. The last time I saw her she came into the bar on her day off, talked to a guy next to me, and walked off. Didn't even look at me. I decided to leave and saw her with her boyfriend in the parking lot. They ended up following me half-way home. The pain was unreal. She was probably going to bang 'em that night. Jesus...
I've only felt this strongly about a girl once in my life. It was like a lightning bolt. Every time I saw her I was happy. Her eyes, her smile, her voice...I was in love. No one could do that for me except her. I've tried so many times to get her to notice me over these past years. So much frustration. And now after all this she just walks past me like it was nothing right into the arms of someone else. It's become easier over time to deal with the pain. I went back there 2 nights ago with my cousin and I made very sure not to look at her. I've noticed it's just easier that way. I feel myself starting to let it go but every time I think about her I get terribly depressed. The might-haves and should-haves...the could-have-beens...they're eating me alive. And I feel so pathetic dwelling on it all. Do normal people think like this?
So where am I now? Back to where I was without her. I don't really have anyone close to me. I have a ridiculous amount of debt. No real job...bills backing up. No future plans. Nothing. I have nothing. I've never been so depressed before. I've given up on life. I can't even get the strength to look for jobs. When I thought about the future that me and her could have had together I was so excited. As long as I had her love everything in my life could have fallen apart and I wouldn't have cared. Just being able to walk down the street with her in my arms or being able to wake up next to her every morning or just having her call me hers would have made up for all of that. And now that hope is gone. I want to say I'm getting over her but I'm not. And to think...I never knew anything about her...and she never cared about me. While I dreamed about her alone, she was probably f*cking that guy something wild. All this time and emotion...wasted...
I've tried the online dating thing to help me forget. No one ever got back to me. It's amazing. Over 500 girls looking for someone. Only a handful that interested me. None of which got back to me. I thought it might make me feel better but now it just seems like I'll never catch what I did in that restaurant. It makes me sick sometimes thinking about it.
I've been alone for 3 years now. No hook-ups, no dates, nothing. The sexual frustration is almost painful. And the loneliness is unbearable. I often times wake up in the morning hoping to be next to someone. Maybe next to her. That's quite a feeling to wake up in pain.
I need a woman in my life so bad. I try to go to bars and clubs but I never see anything I want and I'm really doubting I'd find anything meaningful there anyway.
So what do I do now? I don't know. "Move on", "Get over it"...that's what they say. Those words sound so easy don't they?
I haven't been too open with people I know about all this. I was hoping someone out there knew what it was like. I would like to hear some stories. Might help me recover...
Thanks for letting me vent.
I'm sitting here in my room right now trying to make sense of what has been happening to me over the past few weeks. I recently struck out with a waitress I've been trying to get to know for 2 years. Actually, I struck out with her a long time ago. I guess I never saw it. I'm a very regular customer and she knows how I feel about her but she's never treated me any different. Come to think of it, she has. I think she's been avoiding me. When we first met I was able to flirt and talk with her a lot, but I think she was just humoring me (as I'm sure waitresses are accustomed to doing). She's always smiled at me and been civil. I swore she liked my advances for the longest time. She even took things off my bill a couple times. But once I slipped her my number she changed. I think she thought I was trying to get into her pants, which wasn't the idea at all. I just didn't know how else to let her know how I felt. And now I think I've been scaring her in the past weeks trying to talk to her. The last time I saw her she came into the bar on her day off, talked to a guy next to me, and walked off. Didn't even look at me. I decided to leave and saw her with her boyfriend in the parking lot. They ended up following me half-way home. The pain was unreal. She was probably going to bang 'em that night. Jesus...
I've only felt this strongly about a girl once in my life. It was like a lightning bolt. Every time I saw her I was happy. Her eyes, her smile, her voice...I was in love. No one could do that for me except her. I've tried so many times to get her to notice me over these past years. So much frustration. And now after all this she just walks past me like it was nothing right into the arms of someone else. It's become easier over time to deal with the pain. I went back there 2 nights ago with my cousin and I made very sure not to look at her. I've noticed it's just easier that way. I feel myself starting to let it go but every time I think about her I get terribly depressed. The might-haves and should-haves...the could-have-beens...they're eating me alive. And I feel so pathetic dwelling on it all. Do normal people think like this?
So where am I now? Back to where I was without her. I don't really have anyone close to me. I have a ridiculous amount of debt. No real job...bills backing up. No future plans. Nothing. I have nothing. I've never been so depressed before. I've given up on life. I can't even get the strength to look for jobs. When I thought about the future that me and her could have had together I was so excited. As long as I had her love everything in my life could have fallen apart and I wouldn't have cared. Just being able to walk down the street with her in my arms or being able to wake up next to her every morning or just having her call me hers would have made up for all of that. And now that hope is gone. I want to say I'm getting over her but I'm not. And to think...I never knew anything about her...and she never cared about me. While I dreamed about her alone, she was probably f*cking that guy something wild. All this time and emotion...wasted...
I've tried the online dating thing to help me forget. No one ever got back to me. It's amazing. Over 500 girls looking for someone. Only a handful that interested me. None of which got back to me. I thought it might make me feel better but now it just seems like I'll never catch what I did in that restaurant. It makes me sick sometimes thinking about it.
I've been alone for 3 years now. No hook-ups, no dates, nothing. The sexual frustration is almost painful. And the loneliness is unbearable. I often times wake up in the morning hoping to be next to someone. Maybe next to her. That's quite a feeling to wake up in pain.
I need a woman in my life so bad. I try to go to bars and clubs but I never see anything I want and I'm really doubting I'd find anything meaningful there anyway.
So what do I do now? I don't know. "Move on", "Get over it"...that's what they say. Those words sound so easy don't they?
I haven't been too open with people I know about all this. I was hoping someone out there knew what it was like. I would like to hear some stories. Might help me recover...
Thanks for letting me vent.