really depress the way my life is going

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AlonelyCrumpet

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I am 46 years old never been successful in anything, single no kids, no college. I got injured while working for the railroad as a signalman. The railroad wont let me return to that job because of my injurys but they did give me a job up in salt lake city as a security guard for $40,000 a year. I took the job offer but now i am so depress thinking in a month I will be nothing more than a Security Guard. Why do some people succeed in life but my life has always been hard with nothing but failures and unhappiness??
I feel like a failure with nothing to live for anymore
........
 
AlonelyCrumpet--
There is nothing wrong with being a security guard. There a lot of folks, out there with college, kids, marriages and all the other goodies you can think of and they are miserable, lonely and feeling just as, lost as you. Some look like a success on the outside but inside, they feel like shattered glass. There is always something to live for. You just have to look for it.
 
I have been looking for it for 46 years, I have always felt something missing inside me, like a piece of my soul was never there and I keep searching for it but it is always nowhere to be found..........I go to sleep at night praying i wont wakeup the next morning...............where to I find this thing called happiness???
 
AlC--( You're avatar is adorable!)
I'm not sure where it's found. I think it's different for everyone. But I do believe you'll have a better chance of finding it you try to connect with others, hear their stories, their problems and the solutions many have found. I know that's given me a lot of comfort lately. This is a great place to reach out. There are a lot of wonderful folks in here always ready to lend an ear, a kind word, and some words of wisdom. Hang out forawhile and see...:)
 
There's nothing wrong with being a security guard. It's a job, and someone's gotta do it. It's most definitely better than being unemployed or stuck on disability for the rest of your life! And you never know; you might meet someone nice while working or make some friends who could introduce you to someone nice.
 
Hi, hope you don't mind me writing, I joined only some days ago.
Some time ago I was exactly in your same situation, and I was obliged by the situation to be something I never thought I would be, and see all my dreams shattered and apparently the life I always dreamed about ending.
What really helped was to make a list (! crazy, I know):
I made a list of all the minor interests I always neglected or made jokes about because they seemed impossible, like becoming a rockstar, or making video games, and things in my personality that I thought were lacking like being generous, and understanding others.
After some years I am not a rockstar, but I have more things to share with other people, a job I like close to video games, and next week I am going to play with a band of "oldies" like me :) (understanding others, that's still an unreachable goal).

What I want to say is that "security guard" might be not very inspiring (still better than other jobs ;-), but you don't have to be "just" that. You can be the greatest person who ever was a security guard :) and maybe in time you ll find something else, and a partner, and you never imagined you life would have turned out like that.
It's really mindblowing when you think about it, possibilities.. but for that, you need to see your power, and that lies in the crumbs of your life, things you are passionate about, small things that you really like to do and wouldn't do any other way, things that make you "you".
Sorry about the disgusting optimism, I hope it is a bit infectious
PS actually by being a security guard you get loads of time where you don't have much to do, isn't it? that's a plus to follow other interests
 
Peaches--
I never think optimism is "disgusting!" Congrats to you for finding a way to move on your path and a way to find and maintain that optimism!
 
I'm sorry to read about your injury. There is nothing wrong with being a Security Guard. It's not a lesser job. As for happiness, I don't think it's a constant thing. I think if you're lucky you might get bits of happiness here and there. Like watching a good TV programme, having a chocolate bar,doing a hobby etc.
 

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