I feel like is missed my chance at life

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AlbertaGuy

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Hi, I am new to these forums and I'm not sure where to start. I've always been perfectly happy being alone most of the time. My relationships with women are few and far between (single over 3 years). I do have a few people that I've been friends with since high school (I'm 34 now) and we hang out sometimes. I don't have a girlfriend and honestly I wouldn't be a very good partner to anyone the way I feel these days. All of my friends are married, most have families. Get togethers are rare. I am very depressed. I see no real way I will ever be happy again. Is there anyone else out there in this situation?
 
YESSSSS.............. I am in this exact situation. I am 32, soon to be 33. All my friends have married, are having kids... and no one seems to have the time to get together anymore...

I have been single just short of 6 years... been a long and lonely time. Over the past 2 months, I have started dating someone... but its still new, and we only see each other once a week.

I often feel I have missed my chance at life... finding love, having a family.. actually working a job I enjoy.. or at least can tolerate....

I HAVE to keep hope tho, or else i will lose it... I know its easier said than done... but I still try. If i had given up.. i wouldn't have met this nice guy Ive been seeing...

anyway, I am in the same boat, i know how it feels.... you aren't alone.
 
yea i kind of feel the same way. im only 28 but with the way things have been i can see where its going. the way things are with me and people makes me think that that i will still be lonely for a while.
 
edgecrusher said:
yea i kind of feel the same way. im only 28 but with the way things have been i can see where its going. the way things are with me and people makes me think that that i will still be lonely for a while.

I can relate to you edgecrusher. I don't know where everything is going also. I've been alone also but you will never know what will happen. I just keep hoping for the best every day.
 
AlbertaGuy said:
Hi, I am new to these forums and I'm not sure where to start. I've always been perfectly happy being alone most of the time. My relationships with women are few and far between (single over 3 years). I do have a few people that I've been friends with since high school (I'm 34 now) and we hang out sometimes. I don't have a girlfriend and honestly I wouldn't be a very good partner to anyone the way I feel these days. All of my friends are married, most have families. Get togethers are rare. I am very depressed. I see no real way I will ever be happy again. Is there anyone else out there in this situation?

AlbertaGuy,
Hello. You are not alone. I also feel like I've missed out on the simplest pleasures of life, and my dreams never came to be. I have two teenagers who are the loves of my life, but I have been so lonely for such a long time. My dreams of a complete family never came to be, and I wish I had someone in my life. My friends are all married, and it is so depressing for me to be around them. They all seem so happy, and they all converse about their husbands and vacations, etc. I have no more extended family, as it is only my kids and myself. I cry almost daily, but I am trying hard to put this pain behind me. I'm so sorry that you are hurting, and I would love to be a friend to you!!

Asterli said:
edgecrusher said:
yea i kind of feel the same way. im only 28 but with the way things have been i can see where its going. the way things are with me and people makes me think that that i will still be lonely for a while.

I can relate to you edgecrusher. I don't know where everything is going also. I've been alone also but you will never know what will happen. I just keep hoping for the best every day.

Hi Asterli,
I, too, keep hoping for the best every day. That's all we can do to keep the hope alive. It's so nice to meet you.

EveWasFramed said:
Hi there, and welcome to the forum. :)

I Eve...
I like your quotes. Very TRUE! It's nice to meet you!!

edgecrusher said:
yea i kind of feel the same way. im only 28 but with the way things have been i can see where its going. the way things are with me and people makes me think that that i will still be lonely for a while.

Hi edge....
It's nice to meet you!! I hope you are happy today!!
 
AlbertaGuy said:
Hi, I am new to these forums and I'm not sure where to start. I've always been perfectly happy being alone most of the time. My relationships with women are few and far between (single over 3 years). I do have a few people that I've been friends with since high school (I'm 34 now) and we hang out sometimes. I don't have a girlfriend and honestly I wouldn't be a very good partner to anyone the way I feel these days. All of my friends are married, most have families. Get togethers are rare. I am very depressed. I see no real way I will ever be happy again. Is there anyone else out there in this situation?

Listen, for everyday that you wake up, you have another chance to get it right. Don't compare yourself to your friends. Maybe that life isn't for you. Focus on what makes you happy and what you like. If you like wine, take a vacation to Italy. If you like drawing or gardening, sign up for some classes. Join a running club. Find some religion. Be part of a group. That's one of the easiest ways to combat loneliness.

I wouldn't recommend online dating to cure your not having a girlfriend problem. It usually ends up where you imagine the person to be a million times better than they are, and your hopes are dashes.

Just focus on socializing yourself right now, hard as it is. Maybe ask one of your friends to accompany you to your first yoga class or adult football league game. Do something to keep you active, because it's scientifically proven that people who excercise at least 30 minutes a day have less self esteem issues!

And don't forget you can always talk to me and everyone else on the forum :)
 
lights said:
AlbertaGuy said:
Hi, I am new to these forums and I'm not sure where to start. I've always been perfectly happy being alone most of the time. My relationships with women are few and far between (single over 3 years). I do have a few people that I've been friends with since high school (I'm 34 now) and we hang out sometimes. I don't have a girlfriend and honestly I wouldn't be a very good partner to anyone the way I feel these days. All of my friends are married, most have families. Get togethers are rare. I am very depressed. I see no real way I will ever be happy again. Is there anyone else out there in this situation?

Listen, for everyday that you wake up, you have another chance to get it right. Don't compare yourself to your friends. Maybe that life isn't for you. Focus on what makes you happy and what you like. If you like wine, take a vacation to Italy. If you like drawing or gardening, sign up for some classes. Join a running club. Find some religion. Be part of a group. That's one of the easiest ways to combat loneliness.

I wouldn't recommend online dating to cure your not having a girlfriend problem. It usually ends up where you imagine the person to be a million times better than they are, and your hopes are dashes.

Just focus on socializing yourself right now, hard as it is. Maybe ask one of your friends to accompany you to your first yoga class or adult football league game. Do something to keep you active, because it's scientifically proven that people who excercise at least 30 minutes a day have less self esteem issues!

And don't forget you can always talk to me and everyone else on the forum :)

WOW....that was excellent reading!! Thank you!
 
Welcome man. I gotta tell ya that it's never too late to have a life. I'm younger than you but have gone through a similar situation. You have to get out there and find things to do and things to go to. The more things you do, the more you'll have to talk about when you're around people and the easier it'll be to converse. It's not too late man, get out there and find things you enjoy. :)
 
Heh, I think a lot of us would agree with the sentiment that we've "missed our chance at life".

You've come to the right place if you're seeking people who are of similar mind.
 
I feel entirely the same way although, ironically, I have a child and hence "have a family" and having my son actually sent me into a tailspin of anxious loneliness that was always lurking beneath the surface. I'm 38--39 in a couple of weeks--and there is a horrible nagging feeling piled on top of the loneliness that is exacerbated by the "what ifs" and the "holy crap, I'd better find someone before the looks go and dementia starts to set in," etc. (Yes, my catastrophic thinking puts 39 at "just 'round the corner from senility"--ha!)

I didn't have a point when I started replying to your post--other than, "Yes, that's exactly how I feel!" But, as is usually the case, once I started typing, I see one: there are always things you could have done earlier and better. I got married to someone I didn't love and brought a child into the world all in a completely un-thought-out (perhaps even subconscious) plan to "not die alone." Well, here I am. Plan B?
 
Well, I am a bit relieved to know there are others out there that feel like I do, though I am not at all happy that you are all feeling the way I do. What kind of groups would you suggest a 34 year old join? Have any of you thought about volunteering somewhere like a charity or something?
 
I can totally relate to the "missed my chance at life" statement. My question is... does anyone ever get another chance?
 
^^^Chances don't magically come and go like leaves on the wind.

We make our own chances with every decision we make.

Every day is a new chance if you want it to be.
 
Bleh... that's so positive and well said and so very true. *rl smile* Part of me is like, Ok, I know that's how I should look at it, but then I think a selfish part of me just can't quite let go of that "it was soooo sad" crutch, you know? Anyhow... working on the next steps, so it can only go up from here. I hope.
 
@Jedidude: I feel like I should respond with some sort of positive quote, but my positive meter is a little low atm, so can I just give you a heartfelt thanks? ^_^

I'm off for the night, nice meeting you.
 
That's a very false and distorted statement to make, quite honestly.

Life isn't just a single fork in the road, it's a highway of changes. There's a fork in the road anytime you want there to be.

You can change your life in ANY way you want to at ANY time. I think a lot of people fail to realize this.

You want a girlfriend? Do something about it. Join a club, take some cooking classes, join an online dating site, ask people at work to set you up, ask friends and family to do the same, take up a few hobbies.

You want happiness? Do something about it. Find a hobby that makes you happy, whether its fishing or pottery, just keep doing it until you get bored and then find something else.

Life's is simple - you want something? Go get it. No one's stopping you other than yourself. Yes, you're gonna have to work for it. Yes you're gonna have to do something. No, no one's going to just hand it to you. That's not the way life works.

I feel like I could write this as a reply to 90% of the posts here.
 
@sadface: C/p ... it's your friend. And I think you sort of just did 'write' it as a reply. Best get started, might take you all night to hit all the threads. ^_~
 

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