my story

Within the last year I lost my best friend because of my own stupidity. I ended up dating her ex boyfriend and she was mad about it and instead of letting him go while things werent too serious I didnt. I tried to keep her as a friend and keep him but it didnt work and she stopped talking to me. So within this last year ive been really lonely. The only person I have to hang out with is my boyfriend which I dont mind because I love him sooo much but I have to give him space and I cant rely on just him. I have a couple of people that I try hanging out with but I dont really connect with any of them not like I did with my ex-bestfriend . Its hard to replace a 12 year friendship. I tried connecting with her again but she wont have it even though I know shes just as miserable as me cause her sister told me. But lately Ive been worried because whats gonna happen if we split up. Things have been weird lately and I feel like he wants to dump me. Sometimes he treats me like honeysuckle because he knows ill accept it because I have no body else. I think I have really low self-respect I say this because my whole life people have told me how pretty I am and now thats all I care about and those words would mean so much if they just came out of his mouth with meaning. I constantly fresia my boyfriend because I want him to look at me. I want all of his attention focused on me and when he ignores me I get so upset. I just love the attention I even told him that I sometimes fresia him for attention and he got really mad but then of course like 10 minutes later we were having sex again. I just want him to listen to me and like being around me I dont wanna feel like I have his attention only when my face is between his ******* legs.
Im hoping since I start college soon that Ill make a friend cause Im really friendly and I love to talk if you couldnt tell.My boyfriend even tells me im always happy and thats what he loves about me. But its a lot of pressure to have a constant expectancy of happiness.
But anyways sorry for babbling its just good to get that all out when you dont have a friend to ***** to

Hi Perfectly Flawed, and welcome to the forum.

Hey Flawed welcome to the forum.

That sounds like a very unhealthy relationship, one that I hope you can move passed.

Hi perfectlyflawed.

Sounds like you're going through a difficult & insecure time. It's hard to lose your best friend (I lost mine after 8 years over a new guy she hooked up with who hated all her old friends). It's sad to be in a situation where choices are made & you realise you're not as high in other people's priorities as you thought you were. The good news is that if your ex-best friend is miserable then she clearly misses you & will probably get over the situation with time, even though there will probably still be a lot of hurt there. Just take that relationship as it comes - I'm sure you would be happy to have her back in your life, but it might need to be on her terms more than yours for a while since you ended up with her ex-boyfriend as well.

Your boyfriend sounds like he has tried to compliment you by telling you that he likes how you are such a happy person. It's hard when we need specific reassurance from others but they don't give it - it helps to remember that other people aren't psychic. I certainly am hard on people like that myself sometimes. We want them to make us feel better or to comfort us with certain words, but they don't know that. You could always try telling him what you need from him. Perhaps if he can't give you what you need then he's not the best person to stick with, even though I'm sure that's a scary thought for you. It's hard to get outside our comfort zones. I'm sure you can find someone out there who you will gel with - it just takes time & patience. Sounds like you need your best friend to talk to!

I hope you can work things out with both of them. Good luck (& welcome to the forum)