A mate MUST have....

I think we need a thread where folks can post their, "must have" lists for a relationship partener. No limit to how many. I think we also need a, Must NOT be, do, have, etc... list also.

I post like a frittering frog on crack in here, but I also read a LOT and the match-maker in me thinks if a few of you adorable folks listed what you're looking for and can't tolerate in others, then a few of you might find each other. Hey, the site claims one marriage made, that I've read about. Who says there can't be a few more???:shy:

I married at 22....Wayy too young...If I had to write a list today it would be VERY different than the one I would jotted down back then!

Now, I would want:
A kind and loving heart would weigh in, wayyy before looks or finance.
A cuddler who showers you with warm fuzzy words at every opportunity.
A walker on the beach and holder of hands sort of man.
Wickedly good sense of humor, the more twisted the better
A good conversationalist about darn near anything we could bring up.
Lover of nature, animals, music, travel, motorcycles, the ocean and art.

Must NOT be:
cold
a workaholic
too possessive or jealous

Honestly, I want to be surprised in what qualities lurk within my future mate.

The only things I require as an absolute in my mate would be:

Loyalty
Communication
Sex

That's about all. The rest is the spice of life, so like I said... surprise me!

P.S. I have to admit, though, Beiber or Twilight fangirls get an automatic loss of respek and interest from me. lol

hmmm... let's see... this is kind of hard, so i'm not going to use the word "must". here we go...

things i'd want from her:
be single and preferably never been married or have kids
have a great sense of humor and outlook on life
be a lady in every way
be big-business minded
be a creative introvert like myself
have big goals in life
know how to cook, clean, do dishes, mop, etc...
have a big heart, big enough for the both of us
laugh at my jokes because she actually thinks i'm funny
be like me, but also very different
have strong ties to christianity
like exercising
i'd prefer it if she were mexican-american like myself
as for looks, as long as she's not obese or anorexic i'm fine.
there's more, but it's too much too list. this is just the basic stuff.

things i would NOT want from her:
don't drink
don't smoke
don't do drugs
don't be rude to my mom or dad

...that's all i can think of. MORE LATER WHEN I REMEMBER! TIME TO GO TO LUNCH! BYE!!

i would just want her to be nerdy like me. someone who is mostly a homebody like me. not someone who wants to go to the bar and parties all the time. someone who doesnt smoke and they dont drink a lot. doesnt already have kids, preferrably hasnt been married before. i would prefer they be someone who isnt very religious. or if they are they are more spiritual and they do it in their own personal way, meaning they dont go to church. someone who is caring. someone who has a similar sense of humor to my own.

They must have a sense of humor.
Must have intelligence.

Nina said:

Hey, the site claims one marriage made, that I've read about. Who says there can't be a few more???:shy:

Click to expand...

Two, actually. Jales and Airbug and now Zak and Oceanmist.

They must hate the Denver Broncos as passionately as I do.

I need someone who talks. I'm sort of a quiet guy so I need someone who can at least bring up topics to talk about. My mate must have a strong sense of loyalty. We should be able to talk to each other about absolutely anything.

My mate must also

Be sort of a geek- interested in fantasy/fiction such as Star Wars, LoTR, etc.
Be a Christian, but not a super-religious Christian (Doesn't have to go to church)
Have similar musical interests as me. This is a big one.
Be intelligent.
Have a sense of humor.
Love cuddling and hand holding.

I think lists like this are largely irrelevant. My mom always wanted someone tall, someone quiet, and was strongly against marrying a business man. She found none of that in my father.

You can list anything you want on your wish list, but the fact of the matter is, a lot of relationships depend on whether you guys click. They can be everything you want, and you can be everything they want, but if the chemistry isn't there, it won't work - all lists do is make you more picky and think about things that don't matter.

In my opinion, at least.

Well Nina...hot **** here I am

I love a romantic walk on the beach with my woman or a hike in the mountain...I miss doing it alot.
I miss holding my gal as the sun is setting while we're sitting over a cliff watching the waves crashes agains the rocks. Or just laying out in nature at night watching the moon and stars.
I used to own a Nija. I want another bike someday. I'm a musician and sometimes I'll still draw or paint.
I love art. Spending a day with my lover at an art museum would be totally awesume to me.
Traveling the world to experinces all its wonders is a dream of mine. Doing it with my lover would be like
heaven on earth.

I caress my woman like I caress my guitar..firm but gentally.


I'm not possesive. I however can get very obessiving with someone i love.
I still get jealousy feelings from time to time

Lonesome Crow said:

Well Nina...hot **** here I am

I love a romantic walk on the beach with my woman or a hike in the mountain...I miss doing it alot.
I miss holding my gal as the sun is setting while we're sitting over a cliff watching the waves crashes agains the rocks. Or just laying out in nature at night watching the moon and stars.
I used to own a Nija. I want another bike someday. I'm a musician and sometimes I'll still draw or paint.
I love art. Spending a day with my lover at an art museum would be totally awesume to me.
Traveling the world to experinces all its wonders is a dream of mine. Doing it with my lover would be like
heaven on earth.

I caress my woman like I caress my guitar..firm but gentally.


I'm not possesive. I however can get very obessiving with someone i love.
I still get jealousy feelings from time to time

Click to expand...

Lonesome,
Let's go baby!! You're the one for ME!! You just made my whole day with this post!

This is basically if I were to order up my perfect man. I am not sure a man like this exists that would want to be with me lol. I havnt found him yet thats for sure lol.

First and foremost he must be fond of animals! My house is basically a zoo, and I make most of my money breeding, raising, and working with animals. He doesnt have to share my passions and lifestyle, but he has to appreciate them. He has to be a hard worker, physically and mentally. I would expect help around the farm as I need it.

Yes, I am shallow, he has to be sexy to me, and have a good body. I have a nice body and work at keeping it nice, I need the same from a man I am with. Arms are very important to me. They must be nice and balanced. I see some men with these built up biceps with these puny, atrophied forearms and it makes me want to barf. Harsh, I know, but it looks really weird to me and tells me that hes not a real working man lol.

He absolutely must be ok with my rough, calloused, dirt stained hands. I work outside, with animals, all day long. They are worse in the summer because its dusty and too hot for gloves LOL. He has to understand that my animals care comes first, and I am not looking to be pulled away from my farm duties.

I dont care about past marriages or kids, but he has to want to get married again and want more kids. I have never been married and do not have kids, and really want both, at least kids.

He MUST have a good job, a license, a car, and a place to live. He must make at least as much as me, preferably more as I barely squeak by (probably from all the critters I feed lol). He must be intelligent, both academically and in life. He must be open minded and kind, compassionate, caring, confident, and be a true man who knows how to take control, but not be a pig about it. He must have the same sick, tawdry sense of humor that I do, and more so. He has to keep me laughing as I can get to feeling low pretty easily. He must be ok with my swinging moods and random sex level.

He must be ok with my occasional, or regular illegal drug use. Thats just the way it is. I dont drink alcohol, but I do partake in a few illegal substances, some more often than others.

Thats about all of the musts I can think of right now. Now for the must nots!

He must NOT have rotten teeth! I dont care if a guy has a full set of dentures, I get it that some people have bad genetics, didnt have good dental care as a kid, meth addiction, wahtever. As long as he now practices good oral hygiene its all good.

As much as I love animals, he must NOT be a dog person. I am a cat person, 'nough said.

There is a lot more that goes into it for me of course, but sitting here now, this is what I came up with.

sadface said:

I think lists like this are largely irrelevant. My mom always wanted someone tall, someone quiet, and was strongly against marrying a business man. She found none of that in my father.

You can list anything you want on your wish list, but the fact of the matter is, a lot of relationships depend on whether you guys click. They can be everything you want, and you can be everything they want, but if the chemistry isn't there, it won't work - all lists do is make you more picky and think about things that don't matter.

In my opinion, at least.

Click to expand...

Awesome post.
I see each person as a surprise bag.

MUSTs:

-A perfusing cardiac rhythm
-Adequate respirations
-Height/weight proportionate
-Must enjoy physical outdoor activities
-Intelligent about something worthwhile or interesting (Biology a plus)
-Appreciates one or more of the following:

a. Literature (you know, dem book thangs)
b. Gardening (moar food plants, less flowers)
c. Jazz or metal, or other forms of music outside of the pop culture realm

General Disqualifiers:

-Partying
-Drinking
-Drugs or weed
-Identifies proudly as a Republican
-Identifies proudly as a Democrat
-Identifies proudly as a Communist
-Thinks everything is fine and dandy and there is no reason to be prepared in terms of survivalism
-"I like to go mudding"
-"I'm a Country girl" (borderline, incredibly borderline)
-Listens to and likes any of the following:

a. Soulja Boy
b. Lady YawnYawn (SOMEWHAT negotiable if I never have to hear it)
c. My Chemical Romance
d. Trying-hard-to-be-Insane Clown Posse

-Influenced by pop culture in terms of attire or phonation patterns
-Church-going Christian


As you can see, I have disqualified most all females presently living from my eligibility list. Good job, you bitter, elitist *******.

Luna said:

sadface said:

I think lists like this are largely irrelevant. My mom always wanted someone tall, someone quiet, and was strongly against marrying a business man. She found none of that in my father.

You can list anything you want on your wish list, but the fact of the matter is, a lot of relationships depend on whether you guys click. They can be everything you want, and you can be everything they want, but if the chemistry isn't there, it won't work - all lists do is make you more picky and think about things that don't matter.

In my opinion, at least.

Click to expand...

Awesome post.
I see each person as a surprise bag.

Click to expand...

Absolute best post yet. =)
I think sometimes we get so caught up in what we fantasize about that we might miss out on some pretty amazing ppl along the way. Not saying they're mr/miss right, but they're decent nonetheless... just sayin'

I totally agree with some that life and mates are great if approached as "surprises" and happy" grab-bags," for those that like the approach. For others, their needs, wants, desires and general approach leans more towards a definitive and orderly pattern. It's ALL good, as long as it fits the individual using it.

Septicemia--LOVE that direct approach!

Brian--This quote, right here:" As you can see, I have disqualified most all females presently living from my eligibility list. Good job, you bitter, elitist *******."
That was just that perfect mix of twisted humor and brutal honesty that makes me LOVE your posts. Second time in a week you made my day!

I'm just going to talk about guys here...the only thing I don't like about women is if they whine a lot.


MUST HAVES

-sarcasm
-intelligence
-a libido
-at least 5'10

MUST NOT HAVE

-muscles
-long hair
-facial hair
-a wife

I'm the kind of person that can really really become physically attracted to a person after I get to know them. i may not be initially attracted to them but then can become REALLY attracted to them.


And an added bonus...

crazy eyes

like really really crazy. like they are an evil genius or something. There is passion in it. Crazy eyes really turn me on.

Nina said:

I married at 22....Wayy too young...If I had to write a list today it would be VERY different than the one I would jotted down back then!

Click to expand...

I was in a committed LTR at 16 and my requirements then were actually the same as they are now (with the exception of liking Linux), which I think is how I've managed to make my first and only relationship last for so long. It's good to be picky.

Just for fun, here are mine (although I am not single):

Rational. Holds no mystical or pseudoscientific beliefs.
Atheist.
Doesn't want kids, is pro-choice.
Supports gun ownership.
Believes euthanasia should be legal.
Supports the death penalty.
Drug friendly but not an addict or irresponsible.
Not OCD. If you can't live without Purell or are too much of a neat freak, we're not going to get along.
Must be kind to animals, but not militant about it (no vegans or vegetarians).
Decent health.
Fondness for Linux is a plus.
Filesharing friendly.
Career that does not involve long business trips or overly long hours.
Not anti-capitalist. I am a hobbyist investor.
Likes to travel.
Must be punctual.
Not politically correct or easily offended.
Intelligent.
Values personal freedom.
Normal libido, no strong perversions, no STDs.

I could go on, and on...yeah, it's a miracle I found anyone.

JamaisVu said:

Just for fun, here are mine (although I am not single):

Rational. Holds no mystical or pseudoscientific beliefs.
Atheist.
Doesn't want kids, is pro-choice.
Supports gun ownership.
Believes euthanasia should be legal.
Supports the death penalty.
Drug friendly but not an addict or irresponsible.
Not OCD. If you can't live without Purell or are too much of a neat freak, we're not going to get along.
Must be kind to animals, but not militant about it (no vegans or vegetarians).
Decent health.
Fondness for Linux is a plus.
Filesharing friendly.
Career that does not involve long business trips or overly long hours.
Not anti-capitalist. I am a hobbyist investor.
Likes to travel.
Must be punctual.
Not politically correct or easily offended.
Intelligent.
Values personal freedom.
Normal libido, no strong perversions, no STDs.

Click to expand...

That's a good list *thumbs up*

JamaisVu said:

Fondness for Linux is a plus.

Click to expand...

I love you.