Hannah
New member
- Joined
- Aug 17, 2010
- Messages
- 2
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Hi,
I am new to this forum, but so happy I found it.
I have had a hard time my entire life making and keeping friends. Mostly because I never really learned how (I moved nearly every 6 months from age of 5 to 23). Also because I think I open up too much as well and I trust way too much to the point where now I don't trust anyone. I also have major issues with wanting someone to give me the extra effort/time/consideration/thoughtfulness etc.. that I give.
Current situation:
I am an American living in Germany (I have been gone for 10 years now). Not for a job or relationship, just never felt at home in the states and always did when traveling overseas. I have a good degree, but it is very specific and cant really do a lot with it outside of the states. So, for the last 10 years, I have been doing jobs that I did not like or just fell into. I have never had a job that I really like.
I have either cut ties with or had them cut with a large handful of "friends" over the last 2 years. I just found that most of the "friends" you make while living as an expat is due to language (English speakers tend to draw to each other) and not really because you have things in common. Some of the "friends" I am very happy to be rid of (as were very false friends and never really friends at all (publicly making fun of me or speaking about "confidential" things to others.
I have a boyfriend of 3 years and we really dont have any major issues in our relationship, so the only thing in my life that works!!!
I am now unemployed and have the opportunity to change my life direction, but not sure if I am thinking about it to Run Away or to Better Myself.
I have the opportunity to move to Australia and go back to school (I should add here that I am 40). It would take 2 years and will only be an "Advanced Diploma" not a full degree. Because of this, I do not qualify for financial aid. If I go ahead with the move, I will barely have enough when I get there to pay the 2nd year tuition. I can work, but only 20 hrs a week. My bf was all gunghoe for this, but now is not sure he is ready to leave Germany.
I do not think I could do this alone, nor do I think it is fair to ask him to start all over from scratch. He has many friends here (no super close ones, but a large group of good ones) and I only have 1 "real" friend left here.
So, I have no clue how to decide if I should move or not. The only way I would stay here is if we were to start a family, but I do not see that happening. I do love the city I live in, I just dislike the "system" of Germany and the language barrier is too much to bare (and before you tell me to learn the language, I have tried for years and I am just not a language person, some people just are not - period!!!)
My idea is that if I move, I will be able to do more in English, for example - community ed type classes (art, photography, dance, yoga, etc...) and will be able to get a hobby and meet new people. Also to get an education in something that I actually like doing.
So, sorry for the long long long intro - but I am at a total loss and think I found this site by fate tonight
Thanks,
Hannah!
I am new to this forum, but so happy I found it.
I have had a hard time my entire life making and keeping friends. Mostly because I never really learned how (I moved nearly every 6 months from age of 5 to 23). Also because I think I open up too much as well and I trust way too much to the point where now I don't trust anyone. I also have major issues with wanting someone to give me the extra effort/time/consideration/thoughtfulness etc.. that I give.
Current situation:
I am an American living in Germany (I have been gone for 10 years now). Not for a job or relationship, just never felt at home in the states and always did when traveling overseas. I have a good degree, but it is very specific and cant really do a lot with it outside of the states. So, for the last 10 years, I have been doing jobs that I did not like or just fell into. I have never had a job that I really like.
I have either cut ties with or had them cut with a large handful of "friends" over the last 2 years. I just found that most of the "friends" you make while living as an expat is due to language (English speakers tend to draw to each other) and not really because you have things in common. Some of the "friends" I am very happy to be rid of (as were very false friends and never really friends at all (publicly making fun of me or speaking about "confidential" things to others.
I have a boyfriend of 3 years and we really dont have any major issues in our relationship, so the only thing in my life that works!!!
I am now unemployed and have the opportunity to change my life direction, but not sure if I am thinking about it to Run Away or to Better Myself.
I have the opportunity to move to Australia and go back to school (I should add here that I am 40). It would take 2 years and will only be an "Advanced Diploma" not a full degree. Because of this, I do not qualify for financial aid. If I go ahead with the move, I will barely have enough when I get there to pay the 2nd year tuition. I can work, but only 20 hrs a week. My bf was all gunghoe for this, but now is not sure he is ready to leave Germany.
I do not think I could do this alone, nor do I think it is fair to ask him to start all over from scratch. He has many friends here (no super close ones, but a large group of good ones) and I only have 1 "real" friend left here.
So, I have no clue how to decide if I should move or not. The only way I would stay here is if we were to start a family, but I do not see that happening. I do love the city I live in, I just dislike the "system" of Germany and the language barrier is too much to bare (and before you tell me to learn the language, I have tried for years and I am just not a language person, some people just are not - period!!!)
My idea is that if I move, I will be able to do more in English, for example - community ed type classes (art, photography, dance, yoga, etc...) and will be able to get a hobby and meet new people. Also to get an education in something that I actually like doing.
So, sorry for the long long long intro - but I am at a total loss and think I found this site by fate tonight
Thanks,
Hannah!