Moaninglonewolf
Well-known member
- Joined
- Aug 16, 2010
- Messages
- 53
- Reaction score
- 0
Hi everyone
I'm new to the site and thought I would introduce myself. I've never been really good at any form of communication and I feel like my already poor communication skills are fading away as I don't get to chat much with people (I guess you can realize that from how formal and mechanical my sentences sound). In addition to these, English is not my first language so please excuse if I sometimes make nonsense or stupid mistakes.
Anyway, I'm an 18 year old boy who sucks when it comes to social skills. I have a poor personality for making and keeping friends but it doesn't really matter as I don't find myself in any oppurtinuty to meet new people and all my acquaintances (I mean guys in my school) think I'm weird, loser etc. so they wouldn't be interested in making friends with me. I wasn't always a shy and introverted person but after going through some bullying in my first year in highschool, I withdrew to my own shell and avoided social contact mostly thereafter. My life basically consists of a simple home to school-school to home pattern and at summer holidays I spend nearly all of my time home playing computer games, playing guitar etc. At school I have some friends but when the summer holiday comes, I'm left all alone because my friends(actually there are only two) spend their holidays out of town where they don't have internet connections. Besides, it wouldn't really matter if they had because they don't really contact me once we're out of the school. I guess they have their own friends where they live so they don't need me.
So I haven't had a simple conversation with anyone but my family in the last three months(and it's always been this way for the last three summer holidays), I feel rejected, isolated, depressive and I'm desperately in need of some friendship or at least some friendly conversation. I thought I could find some like-minded people here in this site who would accept me as I am because they are also in the same boat. I'm tired of trying to find acceptance from normal and social people by acting as if I was a normal person myself and want to meet people who feel the way I do and with whom I can feel perfectly comfortable with myself and my loneliness.
So.... ANYONE who wants to chat or mail about anything (especially on the subjects loneliness, depression, shyness etc.) is very welcome or rather would be greatly appreciated.
Lastly, I won't rest if I don't get this out of my chest now: You can't believe how hard it was for me to write this post because
a) I'm a true coward and I was afraid I'd look desperate and there is always the possibility of being ignored.
b) I've never before talked about this kind of stuff in my life. I always tried to look like a normal person to others. I guess I'm really good at acting because noone around me(not even my family) seems to realize that I've suffered greatly from loneliness and depression all these years. At nights, I wept silently in my bed before falling asleep and listened to sad songs till the dead of the night. And every morning I woke up with a head-ache and cursed the new day(not just because of the head-ache of course). And noone has known about these things till now.
Anyway, sorry for the lenght but I really tried to cut it short.
Ohh.. and thanks for reading.
I'm new to the site and thought I would introduce myself. I've never been really good at any form of communication and I feel like my already poor communication skills are fading away as I don't get to chat much with people (I guess you can realize that from how formal and mechanical my sentences sound). In addition to these, English is not my first language so please excuse if I sometimes make nonsense or stupid mistakes.
Anyway, I'm an 18 year old boy who sucks when it comes to social skills. I have a poor personality for making and keeping friends but it doesn't really matter as I don't find myself in any oppurtinuty to meet new people and all my acquaintances (I mean guys in my school) think I'm weird, loser etc. so they wouldn't be interested in making friends with me. I wasn't always a shy and introverted person but after going through some bullying in my first year in highschool, I withdrew to my own shell and avoided social contact mostly thereafter. My life basically consists of a simple home to school-school to home pattern and at summer holidays I spend nearly all of my time home playing computer games, playing guitar etc. At school I have some friends but when the summer holiday comes, I'm left all alone because my friends(actually there are only two) spend their holidays out of town where they don't have internet connections. Besides, it wouldn't really matter if they had because they don't really contact me once we're out of the school. I guess they have their own friends where they live so they don't need me.
So I haven't had a simple conversation with anyone but my family in the last three months(and it's always been this way for the last three summer holidays), I feel rejected, isolated, depressive and I'm desperately in need of some friendship or at least some friendly conversation. I thought I could find some like-minded people here in this site who would accept me as I am because they are also in the same boat. I'm tired of trying to find acceptance from normal and social people by acting as if I was a normal person myself and want to meet people who feel the way I do and with whom I can feel perfectly comfortable with myself and my loneliness.
So.... ANYONE who wants to chat or mail about anything (especially on the subjects loneliness, depression, shyness etc.) is very welcome or rather would be greatly appreciated.
Lastly, I won't rest if I don't get this out of my chest now: You can't believe how hard it was for me to write this post because
a) I'm a true coward and I was afraid I'd look desperate and there is always the possibility of being ignored.
b) I've never before talked about this kind of stuff in my life. I always tried to look like a normal person to others. I guess I'm really good at acting because noone around me(not even my family) seems to realize that I've suffered greatly from loneliness and depression all these years. At nights, I wept silently in my bed before falling asleep and listened to sad songs till the dead of the night. And every morning I woke up with a head-ache and cursed the new day(not just because of the head-ache of course). And noone has known about these things till now.
Anyway, sorry for the lenght but I really tried to cut it short.
Ohh.. and thanks for reading.
