Pheenix
Well-known member
- Joined
- Aug 28, 2010
- Messages
- 625
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Stefan here. Light social reject.
I just started the Danish equivalent of high-school, having had very light social interaction beforehand. In the preceding summer break, I read Dale Carnegie's How to Win Friends and Influence People. I thought I had it covered, but came to realize that the book only told me how to be a nice person and neat company one-on-one. I still lack skills of blending and interacting with large groups of busy people.
So, I have recently ordered books on social anxiety and conversational skills. I am awaiting their arrival.
In the meantime, I am experimenting with different social strategies. I have had little success so far. My newest project will launch this Monday. Its called project Joybringer. I will forget the self and my want for affirmation and instead live and breathe for helping people, when in social situations. Every second shall be spent helping or praising people or finding ways to do so, as long as flattery or submissive behavior is avoided.
Normally, I would question where the line is drawn and what is considered normal with such extreme behavior, but I have come to realize that my knowledge of this is simply too vague to help me. My fear of failure and rejection would take over if I questioned myself now.
I am not actually sure I even want to live a social life, as I am ready to pledge all of my life to a subject lifestyle, currently envisioned as musicianship. But I have promised to try a social life for a while, perhaps the first school year, provided I am successful .
In terms of my personality and difference from the norm, I am a former heavy gamer, and now indulge in poetry and art, including listening to some music that is pretty irregular. And my taste in clothes is weird, too.
Believing myself to be a relatively nice and smart person, I have come to wonder if I am suffering from some sort of mental disorder, such as ADD. I just don't always think in the same lines as everyone else. Many social norms and behaviors that are considered common-sense just never occur to me, so I have to learn everything systematically instead of by insight.
I do not plan to use these forums much, but perhaps I can find people with similar problems and observe the proposed solutions. Maybe I can also come here to vent and for encouragement.
I apologize if this post is marred with errors, I am rather sleepy.
And I have no idea why I sometimes write as formally and clumsily as right now. It comes upon me from time to time. Soon I will be writing normally again
I just started the Danish equivalent of high-school, having had very light social interaction beforehand. In the preceding summer break, I read Dale Carnegie's How to Win Friends and Influence People. I thought I had it covered, but came to realize that the book only told me how to be a nice person and neat company one-on-one. I still lack skills of blending and interacting with large groups of busy people.
So, I have recently ordered books on social anxiety and conversational skills. I am awaiting their arrival.
In the meantime, I am experimenting with different social strategies. I have had little success so far. My newest project will launch this Monday. Its called project Joybringer. I will forget the self and my want for affirmation and instead live and breathe for helping people, when in social situations. Every second shall be spent helping or praising people or finding ways to do so, as long as flattery or submissive behavior is avoided.
Normally, I would question where the line is drawn and what is considered normal with such extreme behavior, but I have come to realize that my knowledge of this is simply too vague to help me. My fear of failure and rejection would take over if I questioned myself now.
I am not actually sure I even want to live a social life, as I am ready to pledge all of my life to a subject lifestyle, currently envisioned as musicianship. But I have promised to try a social life for a while, perhaps the first school year, provided I am successful .
In terms of my personality and difference from the norm, I am a former heavy gamer, and now indulge in poetry and art, including listening to some music that is pretty irregular. And my taste in clothes is weird, too.
Believing myself to be a relatively nice and smart person, I have come to wonder if I am suffering from some sort of mental disorder, such as ADD. I just don't always think in the same lines as everyone else. Many social norms and behaviors that are considered common-sense just never occur to me, so I have to learn everything systematically instead of by insight.
I do not plan to use these forums much, but perhaps I can find people with similar problems and observe the proposed solutions. Maybe I can also come here to vent and for encouragement.
I apologize if this post is marred with errors, I am rather sleepy.
And I have no idea why I sometimes write as formally and clumsily as right now. It comes upon me from time to time. Soon I will be writing normally again
