Depressing Post!

Today is a bad day for my family. A member of it has just died. I feel incredibly sad, and sick and very alone. Part of me doesn't know what to do, or how to feel my emotions. I spent a lot of my life dealing with people dying in my family(guess that happens in a big family), and now I feel like the only way to deal with it is to pretend its not real and become unemotional altogether. At the same time, I feel incredible loss and pain, but also the feeling that I want to push myself further and further away from everyone else. (If that is possible.) I want to hide, or run away and it kills me that I'm not there for other people. I don't know how to describe myself very well at the moment, so I apologize to anyone trying to read this. I just wanted to express myself and there isn't really anyone I can talk to.

First of all I am sorry for your loss. Sometimes it's hard to find the right words to comfort someone in your situation. I lost my dad when I was 16 I don't know if it was abig shock for me but for I long time I pretended he was away on vacation and someday he would comeback. I lost my mom a few years ago, She lost the battle against pancreatic cancer. I still think about them a lot but I know they are still with me in my heart and they will never leave that special place. And don't feel bad for not being there for other people We all cope with death in our own way. I hope you feel better ((((hug))))

lomojojo said:

First of all I am sorry for your loss. Sometimes it's hard to find the right words to comfort someone in your situation. I lost my dad when I was 16 I don't know if it was abig shock for me but for I long time I pretended he was away on vacation and someday he would comeback. I lost my mom a few years ago, She lost the battle against pancreatic cancer. I still think about them a lot but I know they are still with me in my heart and they will never leave that special place. And don't feel bad for not being there for other people We all cope with death in our own way. I hope you feel better ((((hug))))

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thanks for your kind words. i am just going to try and get through as best that I can, and be strong for those around me as best that I can. Its sometimes better to know that the person you love isn't suffering anymore, but its still incredibly hard.

I'm glad to hear that!

I am sorry for your loss. While i have nothing useful that i can add, it does sound like you are finding the right path. It can be very difficult.

Hi unadventuregirl and welcome to the forums!

Condolences to you and may you recover soon from the negative feelings you're feeling. You'll feel better. I just know it!

I too, am so sorry for your loss. I lost both parents and a brother a few years back and it still stands as the most devastating time in my life.
Don't feel guilty about not being there for others. Concentrate on being there for yourself, right now. You were wise to try and put the thoughts into words here. It's the first step in acceptance and adjustment to the loss and feelings of grief. Keep purging the thoughts as they come to you. Just know that others have suffered loss and get where you are coming from. [[[[HUGS]]]]

Minus said:

I am sorry for your loss. While i have nothing useful that i can add, it does sound like you are finding the right path. It can be very difficult.

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i'm trying .. i'm at work right now, so being out of my house is a distraction..as well as reading here at these boards. i think its okay to try and take my mind off things, i'd be a mess if not.

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Yukhi said:

Hi unadventuregirl and welcome to the forums!

Condolences to you and may you recover soon from the negative feelings you're feeling. You'll feel better. I just know it!

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thanks for the welcome and well wishes.. I'm trying to keep positive, its hard though when all you want to do is be alone so you don't have to deal with anything.. but i can only try to do what i can right? I just hope everyone knows how much I really do care!

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Nina said:

I too, am so sorry for your loss. I lost both parents and a brother a few years back and it still stands as the most devastating time in my life.
Don't feel guilty about not being there for others. Concentrate on being there for yourself, right now. You were wise to try and put the thoughts into words here. It's the first step in acceptance and adjustment to the loss and feelings of grief. Keep purging the thoughts as they come to you. Just know that others have suffered loss and get where you are coming from. [[[[HUGS]]]]

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I'm sorry to hear about your parents and brother. That must have been a terrible time for you, I hope you are okay. I know it can take a long time to stop grieving, especially with people so close. Thanks for all that you said, it was really helpful. I will try and let myself deal however I can, and not feel guilty about anything. I just wish I knew the right things to say to people, but its never easy for anyone I guess. I just have to remember to let myself actually feel my feelings, if that makes any sense. Nice to have a place to share though, don't like going insane from keeping everything in and pretending nothing is happening.

unadventuregirl, I AM VERY SADDENED ABOUT YOUR LOSS . I lost my parents and some relatives too within a 2 year period all to cancer and pneumonia. I know how painful it is and I get it on Especially holidays and certain days memorials, father and mother's days etc. I hope to hear from you, we can discuss. Pray alot and stay close to GOD . , John

unadventuregirl--Right now aside from telling folks what YOU feel when they ask, I don't think you need to worry about anything else. Cry when you need to. I know exactly what you mean when you say it's sometimes hard to, "feel your own feelings" I was like an absolute zombie for a good while after my folks accident, then I was just coming around and my brother was gone.

What helped me snap out of the zombie state was looking at photos of all of them and actually making myself cry. I did that for a good two weeks and it did help a lot to flush out the catatonia that was trying to take over. It's the body and minds way of shutting out emotions that one wants to escape. But for the grieving process to begin you have to go through the tears.

My heart is with you....If you ever need to talk feel free to message me as well.

*HUGS*