Am I a ghost? The world is fading away.

I feel like I am drowning and coming up for gasps. My glimpses of the world are vague and sometimes frantic, and the rest of the time I'm buried in a deep place.

I really don't want any help even. I can't believe it's so hard to make a friend, and everyone I talk to just drops contact shortly after we've met.

My isolation from the world is beginning to make me feel like I'm losing touch. I walk through the world like a ghost, in some world I'm not meant to be. There's nothing wrong with me physically, and I don't think mentally, but I can't help feeling as I walk down the street like I'm intruding in the world of others, where everyone is living their little lives and I'm just star crossed. Sometimes my mind warbles at any contact.

I don't really even feel the need to say these things about how I feel, or maybe that's not true... I only feel the need when my attempts at coherency and realism seem futile.

I'm happy this forum exists, but I find in it just another abstract set of internet symbols and for all it could matter automated responses. I've been my whole life without a friend and now everything is just empty and at the best of times I am filled with the feeling of a hysterical laughter that doesn't exist enough to actually be let out.

When I write I find it almost impossible to keep focus on a character and a connection to nature or environment doesn't come naturally.

Is there any real people out there, or am I actually a ghost catching only fading glimpses of a once real world?

Wow...
I don't know what to say, other than go talk!

You're not a ghost, and the world is not fading away. You're fading away from the world.

it sounds to me like a poltergeist has got hold of you. many people think poltergeists are only in certain locations but this is not truth. the person based poltergeist is very common and it attaches itself to you if you are down and it trys to ruin your life.

you have to be spiritualy cleansed

I feel like that too.

I feel like that too sometimes, but I think it is unhealthy to think along those lines. Find something else to think about, find something in this world that doesn't fade you away. Talk to people, dive into the forums...other people can save you.

I agree with Incognito, often what we see in the world, turns out to be what we see in ourselves.

As far as feeling like your interfering, don't. I read a study, about a guy who was wearing an outrageous shirt in a classroom, and when the rest of the class was questioned, only a small percentage had noticed. You are nothing more than self-conscious. You are too worried about what others think of you, but truthfully, most other people didn't even notice.

You ain't a ghost, because you're still alive. Don't be so negative, and try to improve your situation, any way you can! We're here to help, I know it's only words, words can help...trust me.

I don't think you understood me. Among other things, with regard to me feeling like I'm intruding, I meant the way I walk down the street and everyone is busy with their place in the structure of society, where as I haven't made one for myself. I've wanted only to able to be myself for a long time. More than one person here said for me to talk to someone or start talking, but they must have disregarded my comments on that in my initial post, the fact that I'm constantly talking to people but they drift away from me. When I say I am a ghost it is because I try to reach out to the world but my hand moves right through it.

EverFlowingSpring said:

I don't think you understood me. Among other things, with regard to me feeling like I'm intruding, I meant the way I walk down the street and everyone is busy with their place in the structure of society, where as I haven't made one for myself. I've wanted only to able to be myself for a long time. More than one person here said for me to talk to someone or start talking, but they must have disregarded my comments on that in my initial post, the fact that I'm constantly talking to people but they drift away from me. When I say I am a ghost it is because I try to reach out to the world but my hand moves right through it.

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I think I know what you are saying. You haven't quite figured out who you are yet... or maybe you have but you feel like the people around you don't accept you. I know thats how I have always felt about myself.