I live alone....

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IVIZ

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I guess I just want to tell a little about myself, because I feel so out of touch with a good active social comunity. And also I guess because Im laying in bed just thinking why I havent gone insane from being so lonely.

Well, Im currently 25. I work almost a 10 hour shift job at a wharehouse. I guess Im living from paycheck to paycheck. Im seperated from my ex which I had two beautiful daughters with ( I spend my days with them on the weekends when I dont work). I rent a two bedroom apartment in a bad neighborHOOD. I dont like going outside, so I stay inside my apt most of the time when not woeking. I only go out to eat, unless by any fortunate luck I find a friend to spend some time with me outside with my boring ass. I work out to stay fit, but find a lack of motivation wheb I realize the only reason I do it is to draw the attention of the opposite sex. I have been very interested in reading the bible and other good uplifting books, I havent felt so religious in my enitre life before. I seem to understand my self better than before. My character seems to always be a loner, but I try to be friendly with the people I see on my day. I remember not to long ago I took a class for domestic violence due to going to jail for something I didnt do, but in the class the teacher would ask me questions in front of the class to get to know me better, I saw that I really thought way too differently than the rest of the thugs in the class, but the instructer seemed like her was annoyed and displeased by my answers (the instructor was a psychologist) he said its amazing I havent considered suicide from the answera I gave him. I always wondered why he would think that. I dont the suicide as an option, I guess I really dont see myself as a quiter or even like to consider myself one throughout my life. I just see suffering as something normal. I dont see it as something thats gonna go away ever, its what were are here for really, makes us stronger. I guess Im just lonely, I want to tell someone about me, Im someone special I hope, I want to tell someone that, not that I want them to think Im some kind od a super hero or anything but that Im pretty unique and want somwonw dear to me to recognise it.

Thanks for reading if youve gotten this far, I know the grammer and sentence structer sucks. And Im just venting here, so maybe mods can move it to the right place.

I wish I had some good friends to visit me once in a while....
 
It seems like things are changing for you; both your actions and thoughts seem to be maturing. 25 was not too long ago for me, I was lonely then, too. From 23-26 I talked to almost no one at all.


This will continue to change for you. People will come and go. You will make connections with people.

Is that too zen ? meh. I dont have any answers.

Try to go outside sometimes and just do what your heart secretly wants to do. The older I get the more I take action towards self indulgence. I want to do what I dream of doing, and, lately, ive been doing it. "Dont dream it, be it." That is from Rocky Horror Picture Show. So, Ive obviously strayed from my point.

This will not be "forever" for you. I hope the next turn is up. good luck.
 
You are special. Every single one of us are, each in our own way. It's up to us to see it in each other and it's up to you to show yourself more ,as you did in this post. In here, but 'out-there' as well. It's great you're reading words that bring you comfort. Maturity and a more gentle and positive perspective helps too. I don't think our goal here is neccessarily to suffer but we all do seem to run into the experience.
If you ever just want to swap words feel free to PM me. I probably don't have any answers... but I listen well! :)
 
Thanks everyone : )

Thats the reason why I came here. [[[[strong hug]]]] lol : )
 
I agree with you – you are uniqe, and I like that you recognize it in yourself and that you are a fighter. Suffering is normal, we all experienced it at some point and that is just something that makes us stronger. It is a part of our lives, but not the only part. And it doesn't last forever. Life is also happy, fun, full of surprises, good, bad and everything in between. That's the reason why you need to keep your head up and do what makes you feel good.
I think that reading is a great way to spend time, it makes you think and dive into your own mind and soul and when you do that wonderful things can happen.
Today and now may not be perfect, but if you stay strong and willing to change the bad parts of your life, maybe the future will smile for you. So go on - read, work out, be the best dad you can be, smile, be nice to people, express your feelings and just try to be the best you. Someone will recognize it. Good luck :)
 
i see what u did there with the 'grammer' and 'structer', and that makes me admire your wit. you rock
 

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