I hate going home

The days are getting shorter and the evenings darker here in england and im finding that i cant face going home after work.
I stay on site at whatever job im on untill the forman kicks me out, im doing so much unpaid overtime i must be making my company a fortune.
I linger about on my way home, walking around motorway services or shopping centres. anything to avoid that house.
There is somthing so wrong about opening the front door to that dark, silent, cold house knowing that another night alone is all that i have in front of me.
I may as well sell the **** place, i only bought it in the vain hope that my children might come and stay with me occasionaly but its becoming very clear that isnt going to happen. The bedrooms i decorated for them sit empty.
i hate the place.

i hate going home, too. although i have roommates, i have tried to socialize with them. they are totally selfish, self-centered, without social skills. they never ask about me. i always tell them i'm going somewhere and invite them to come. it's always no.
when i get to my room, i just think of suicide.

Where_did-My_Live_Go--
My heart goes out to you. If you ever want hash out your thoughts feel free to PM me.

I"m sorry about your children not visiting you. That must be very hard. :/

((((((((((((((((((((((WDMLG)))))))))))))))))))))))

I'm sorry about your pain. But do not expect your children to come to you, go visit them and tell them how much you miss them. Try just to offer, to give love.

i agree with laura. why not try and visit your kids instead of waiting for them to visit you? set up a date with them when you can just spend the day with them doing whatever. you can take them to the park, or out to eat, out to a movie, out fishing, etc.

i know what your pain feels like, and i'm truly sorry you have to go through that. i spent about a year all by myself while my family was away when i was still a teenager. i became even more depressed than what i already was because i had no one to come home and talk to or spend time with. i hated going home too, and resorted to spending all my time at the gym working out. when i arrived home, it was only to shower, have dinner, and then go to sleep.

if you can't visit your kids, please try and find a hobby to take up your time. if you don't have any hobbies right now, then try and take up a new one. you'd be surprised at what activities you'd find fun and interesting. it would be a lot more fun than working for your company for free and then walking around at shopping centers.

i wish you the best.

Maybe it's time to move on and find a life you would love to have. Is there something from your past that you enjoyed doing that you could do now? Try a new hobby. Introduce yourself to the neighbours. Go to zumba and learn how to dance. You never know your wish might come true while your out there doing things that make you feel as if it's all worth it.

This is why I still live with my parents even though I can afford a 1-bedroom apartment. I'd go completely insane and tear the place apart knowing just how alone I was.

I'm sorry I can't give you any advice TS, but I'm saying I can relate to you if I was in your shoes.

samba101 said:

Go to zumba and learn how to dance.

Click to expand...

I actually did this. Daunting at first with so many women (and I was useless), but gradually I got better, gave me a lot of self-confidence.

Is there a way to make your home into a peaceful refuge? Make it colorful and inviting and comforting? I find in the winter LIGHTS make all the difference. I put up white string lights around the windows and it gives a warmth that would not else be there.

Also music. Uplifting music.

Do you cook? If you come home to a crock pot of warm, comforting soup or stew that helps as well.

Are you extroverted? I think extroverted people have a harder time coming home than introverted. Just guessing.