Loneliness, low self-esteem, low confidence, I want to live a fun life.

Hello, this is my first post on these forums. Forgive me if this post is long but I am searching for advice as well as using this too vent.

Anyway I have very low self-esteem. It baffles me as to why I am like this. I am not fat or ugly (i am not a stud, average). I am actually a decent looking dude with an athletic body.

I have been feeling very lonely lately, the main reason I posted this. I get depressed occasionally because I don't have the life that I would like to have. I am very shy and I would say that I am more awkward than shy. The main reason for this loneliness is that I would love to have a girlfriend, hell I would love to just date or "talk" to a girl. I am 22 and my last girlfriend was in high-school. All throughout college i met a lot of people but I never took it further than that. I am not really close buddies with anyone.

I know a lot of people but I dont really have any close friends besides my roommates. I was always that guy that was just there and the most I ever talk to anyone is hey whats up? When I go out to bars and events etc.. I am always just that awkward guy hanging around. My phone can go days even weeks without ringing, except for from my parents. Everyone else I see has tons of friends, always texting hanging out etc...

I would love to raise my self esteem / confidence to meet talk to girls? I am always telling myself im never going to have a girlfriend, or get married. Its been five years of college and I havent done honeysuckle. I feel like I have wasted the best years of my life :/. I know I am kind of shallow and would love to get an amazing looking girl. I am still going to strive for that, but i never try because I always tell my self I will get shutdown. I always say there is no way this girl will like me..

I dont have a problem with the whole approaching and talking but this is where my awkwardness comes in. Once I start talking I just small talk the whole time and they get bored. I would love to be one of the smooth guys that can get any girl. I am a nice, good guy, why cant I find a beautiful girl to be mine? I want to be the smooth confident guy who can pick up the most gorgeous girl in the room and be the one to treat her right.

My life is so boring. Im like the most unpopular, popular guy I know. Does that make sense...

Don't feel like you'll never find anyone. You've already shown initiative by joining this forum, am I right? I'm a lot like you, really anxious to find someone special and self-critical about the size of my social circle. I don't think things will change over night, but you've got to try. It's better to try and get slow results than to never try or accomplish anything. pm if you want to talk.

Hey petenana, good to see you on here, welcome! Sorry to hear that you're feeling discouraged, but I just wanted to say that I enjoyed reading your post and certainly didn't find it boring or lacking in any way! I can definitely relate to some of your feelings about wanting to have a more active social life so don't feel like you're alone in this, there're a ton of people out there who face exactly the same challenges. The most helpful thing I would want to share is that I read a really good book titled "Loneliness" by a scientist named John T. Cacioppo and it said one of the main obstacles for people when they're feeling lonely is simply getting over their fears of reaching out to others and not allowing one's challenges at that time to overwhelm oneself into becoming withdrawn. There are plenty of people out there who'd like to hang out and I'm sure plenty of girls who'd want a nice guy as yourself, keep that head up and feel free to send me a PM anytime. All the best!

I just dont even know where to start....

JOIN THE CLUB, BUDDY! only im a 20 year old female. uggggggggh.

petenana, you should get involved in your school. join a club or something. do sports. volunteer. SOMETHING! i joined a club once and i got a bunch of friends and it was cool, but i just drifted away from them cause i'm a ******* loser and anyways, get involved. when you get friends, and girls see youre a social person, theyll feel more comfortable around you.

You can start by acting more confident and pretend like you're enjoying life.

Try it and maybe eventually people will be drawn to you because being around you will make them feel naturally better about themselves.

Most of you are probably younger then me, but I hope you can find these things. I had times in life where I had more friends, and had close friends in my early 20s and other times in life. Dont put everything into one relationship, that is my advice or worry about being coupled up too soon. I hope things improve for you all.