Why am I so alone?

Well, i'm 19 and drunk and decided to wander down here and express myself to someone, anyone really. I'm fit, i'm handsome, i'm honest and trustworthy. I'm Tall and funny, everything a girl could want. So why no girlfriend? I've only ever had one girlfriend that is deemed a worthy relationship (one and a half years) and I have lost all my friends as well. My parents are pressuring me to go to school... but personally, i'm bad at making friends and don't want to go. They are paying for it even and i can't bring myself to go, who wants to sit for 2-5 years in school without any friends? I just have alot of questions i guess, maybe the answer is to get off my ass and meet some people. I usually avoid any kind of parties unless i know everyone just because i'm so shy and confused... Any ideas or insight guys?

hi there

just be nice to people, and be patient.

Hey

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Yes, I do that all the time, i'm the kind of person who will take punches to the face and not fight back because it's a friend doing the punching

There is a chat room for this forum Im not there, but I am surere there are people there that want to talk right now

http://xat.com/chat/room/105480958/

Only one other in there.

oh, i dont know much about the chat room

I am lonely, too. Only I am married. That is a different but also evil sort of being alone

All I can say is that girls dont know if you like them if you dont tell them - or give them hints. Smiling at a girl can be a good start

I would go to college if I were you. It'll make you a more desirable mate later in life because women look for guys with security, and an education = security.

You could always join a fraternity at college if you felt lonely...

They always say , that if you try to hard it puts them off....however i dont try at all and that dosnt seem to work either.

Be nice, be you and be patient .

tryptech said:

who wants to sit for 2-5 years in school without any friends?

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Who wants to sit for 40+ years at a ratty job accruing no real retirement and having no benefits or interest in one's work?

Dude, I'm paying my own way through college and I'll tell ya it's no walk in the park. I'm almost 23 still working on a 2 year degree. I'll finish, but not as fast as I could have if I had a full ride.

Honestly though, I would not exceed a 2 year vocational program if I were you. Maybe later but not right now. Become a Vascular Technologist or an Underwater Welder or something where you will actually find a job and make pretty good money. The 4 year degrees just aren't finding jobs right now.

Yeah, the awkwardness sucks. But if you want it to it can go away. Until last quarter, classes for me were a nightmare to actually attend. Everyone already knew each other in every class I had it seemed like, and they never needed to talk to me. But finally, in this spring quarter, I decided "fresia it, I'm going to talk to someone whether they like it or not and keep doing it until I'm part of the class."

So I did. And surprisingly it worked.

In Biology I ended up with a regular lab partner who I had a lot of fun with as well as several people I could say hi to and talk to pretty regularly. It wasn't uncomfortable at all. I had a friend in a class, finally! After how many years?! I was elated. She didn't know it, but she probably changed my life by working with me. It's also relevant to this discussion to mention that she was a very attractive (if married) woman, and being around her several times a week for two hours at a shot was a sort of exposure therapy. I realized that attractive women don't actually have a proximity-triggered electrocution defense system that will fry me with lightning if I stand too close. They're people too, and they breathe and bleed just like I do.

In Speech, it was a different crowd...there were only two other students besides myself not still in high school. Those two I found were easy to talk to. One was a woman my age who was just enchantingly beautiful. I would've asked her out if she wasn't engaged. The rest, as I said, were high school kids taking early classes. I found that while we seemed to talk in class, it didn't go REAL far beyond that. We were simply too far apart socially due to the gap in age, experience, and maturity.


You have to be bold to break out of this shell, and it's one of the most difficult things for one to do. But we have to try, or nothing else will ever come to us.

Go to school don't be a fool!! And the girl you want is on its way don't worry about it!

Brian said:

"fresia it, I'm going to talk to someone whether they like it or not and keep doing it until I'm part of the class."

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This is exactly the line of thinking that you need. I was lucky to get a vacation from the reality of life and study abroad in London, and work at a place with 100 college interns over the summer. My mentality towards the end of London and going into the summer. was "I don't care what anyone thinks of me. I'll do what I want. They don't know me, I can be whoever I want." And I actually made some good friends in London and at work because I wasn't concerned with what people were thinking of me.

So what I'm trying to say is that you should go to college. Everyone is in the same same boat at the start--they don't know anyone and are looking to make friends. I've seen really awkward kids become social butterflies and end up being popular. You can be who you want to be. College is a great place to start over, just go into it with the right attitude.

I'm not going to tell you that you have to go to school or anything. Everyone has their own paths in life to take, but you don't need friends first before you go to college. It actually works in the reverse. Every time I've been in school, I've always had more friends than when I wasn't in it because you meet people and make friends there.

I would say go for it. I moved multiple times when i was younger and absolutely HATED having to go to new school or going to college not knowing anyone in my class'. You may be surprised though you might meet some good people who may continue to be a good friends for a long time. Most of the friends in my friendship group i met at college which was about 8 years ago and im a very shy reserved type of person... i really thought i would not make any friends but i did.

I was you 11 years ago. I decided to make something of my life by studying. Now I'm an RN. I have my success but I live alone. No friends, no family, and no girlfriend---and I'm 30.

I speak for myself when I say that I reckon that people like me never have pairs. I'm an Olde Shoe and that's just it. I walk alone. I'm desensitized to sadness and loneliness really.

Work is a very good outlet for me and I push myself to work even if it ends up killing me. It's the best way to shorten my life productively, as opposed to suicide, smoking, etc.

I may not have a pair but at least I can function till I'm no longer needed. --and then sweet death