She turned her back on me :[

Someone who i thought was one of my best friends turned her back on me. This girl was someone i always had strong feelings for, but unfortunately she rejected my feelings. I probably should of stopped talking to her from there, but in all fairness we were friends before anything. Anywho, recently she got a new boyfriend and me and him don't exactly see eye-to-eye (he's a complete ****** bag). For the most part, i was fine with it because i was slowly getting adjusted to the idea of us not being together.

So one day i decided to leave a friendly little "I miss you" type of quote on her facebook page because we don't get to see or talk to each other often since she works all the time. Long story short, her insecure ***** of a boyfriend saw it and started a lot of drama over it. Her boyfriend basically put her in a position to choose between me and him. She asked me to "tone it down" for a bit and not do things that would start drama anymore. Seriously? WTF? The irony of that statement. i refuse to be told what kind of friend i can be especially if i'm suppose to be one of her best friends. I also told her that she's being completely biased because of him but she denies it. This is stupid high school drama that shouldn't concern me at all and i happened to get thrown in the middle. She said she didn't choose sides but i know she chose his. We haven't said anything to each other in over a week. If i knew something like this was going to happen, i would of not even bothered being her friend.

So now here i am, about 2:30am nonstop thinking and it's been like this for the past few nights. I already had trust issues with people to begin with so when one of my own best friends turns their back on me, i feel like i really can't trust anyone. I only feel a combination of sadness, anger, abandoned, betrayed, and hatred. i just wish i could feel indifferent, but i can't. I'm not a clingy person at all, but I really hate when my friends get bfs/gfs because they get so caught up in their own little world that they ignore their friends. It just sucks that someone who you've known for so long and gone through so much stuff with can just toss you aside like trash. It really makes you feel worthless...

thoughts anyone?

Alright, I'm going to approach this from all sides, and start out by saying, girls will ALWAYS choose their boyfriends of two weeks over their friends of two years. It may not be true for all, but in our age range, it definitely is. That's how girls are. I hate it, but it's how we work, we're stupid.

I'm sure this girl has told her boy toy you were interested in her at one point to probably make him jealous. This guy thinks, 'Uh no, this is my meat/treasure, i'm not sharing, you cant have her.' You were right, he's insecure, a lot of us are.

Now, I see why you're upset because you feel like youre losing a friend, however, because of your past/present feelings for her, it does present an issue.

It's up to you want you do next. Honestly, that relationship probably wont last. you can remain friends and continue putting up withi the bull honeysuckle, or say, 'you know what? You're in a relationship, i'm not going to get between that, but if you ever need me, i'm here.' Of course you can say, screw this, we're not friends anymore, but it's up to you.

I agree with Disco. While, if I were her, I wouldn't have "picked" his side, what did you expect her to do? He IS her boyfriend, no matter what you may think of him. She picked him to be with, and no one should get in the middle of that. Don't become that friend that gets in the middle of them. You really don't want to be that. She'll forever know you as someone who's like that.

discolemonade said:

Alright, I'm going to approach this from all sides, and start out by saying, girls will ALWAYS choose their boyfriends of two weeks over their friends of two years. It may not be true for all, but in our age range, it definitely is. That's how girls are. I hate it, but it's how we work, we're stupid.

I'm sure this girl has told her boy toy you were interested in her at one point to probably make him jealous. This guy thinks, 'Uh no, this is my meat/treasure, i'm not sharing, you cant have her.' You were right, he's insecure, a lot of us are.

Now, I see why you're upset because you feel like youre losing a friend, however, because of your past/present feelings for her, it does present an issue.

It's up to you want you do next. Honestly, that relationship probably wont last. you can remain friends and continue putting up withi the bull honeysuckle, or say, 'you know what? You're in a relationship, i'm not going to get between that, but if you ever need me, i'm here.' Of course you can say, screw this, we're not friends anymore, but it's up to you.

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I see what you're saying, but i feel like i'm being considered the bad guy because of my feelings i once had... and it really sucks. probably after this stunt i won't bother being her friend anymore. This wouldn't have hurt so bad if she wouldn't have told me in the past that I was her true best friend. I would NEVER let my significant other get in the way of my friends. One day the tool she's with will dump her, and she'll have nothing left. Even if i do ever forgive her, I've already lost nearly all my respect for her and she'll probably never get it back because now i know her true colors.

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VanillaCreme said:

I agree with Disco. While, if I were her, I wouldn't have "picked" his side, what did you expect her to do? He IS her boyfriend, no matter what you may think of him. She picked him to be with, and no one should get in the middle of that. Don't become that friend that gets in the middle of them. You really don't want to be that. She'll forever know you as someone who's like that.

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I expected her to be what she told me, my best friend. I never wanted to get in the middle, i just somehow got thrown in. If my significant other ever put me in a position to choose between them or my best friend, i would tell them to piss off. If they truly cared about you, they would never put you in the position to choose.

You have to look at it from her side. She doesn't like it any more than you do. Now it's time for you to be a best friend, and understand her. It's not fair of you to, even for a second, think she should pick your side over his. Personally, I think she should have told you both the chill the fresia out. That she wasn't going to let a turd slinging match start or continue between the two of you.

Do you think your feelings towards him are heightened because you did have an attraction to her?

alonewanderer said:

Being the 'caring nice guy' blows, I did that for a long time then I got jaded and women prefer 'this' over the old me but the old me is still there , hidden deep down inside waiting for 1 lucky lady.

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I think you just completely described me

VanillaCreme said:

You have to look at it from her side. She doesn't like it any more than you do. Now it's time for you to be a best friend, and understand her. It's not fair of you to, even for a second, think she should pick your side over his. Personally, I think she should have told you both the chill the fresia out. That she wasn't going to let a turd slinging match start or continue between the two of you.

Do you think your feelings towards him are heightened because you did have an attraction to her?

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why should i be a best friend to her if she's not going to be a best friend to me? I'm an extremely loyal friend, but if i'm not shown that you're going to be loyal to me, then why should i bother? I never said i think she should choose my side over his. I think she should have never let this whole situation get in the way of our so called friendship. You wanna know what she said if i didn't "tone it down"? she said he threatened to talk to his ex gf again. That's another thing that really pissed me off. So yet again, I'm here getting the short end of the stick.

No my feelings are heightened towards him because i never liked him. I knew him before they were dating and believe me, this guy is a Class A *********. Anyways, i'm not the jealous/possessive type.

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alonewanderer said:

A Desolate Soul said:

I think you just completely described me

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I can relate through experiences and encounters, would you like some nonbiased advice on how to put your current situation in the past and your mind at ease?

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Yes, i would appreciate that actually.

Good points. i read something kind of like that before somewhere, i just never applied it. guess i should start, huh? There are a couple girls i've had my eye on for a while, wouldn't hurt to try :]

I will! but i don't get to see one of them till Tuesday cause she's in one of my classes and i don't have her number yet.
but the other one i'm suppose to hangout with tomorrow so we'll see how that goes

If you don't want to be her best friend anymore because of her decision to date a guy you don't like, then I think there's your answer. Wandering is actually giving useful advice for once. Let this relationship between her and this guy run its course. And if you decide to be her friend afterward, then that's up to you.

It's not just because she's dating a guy i don't like, it's the thought "is this is going to happen every time she gets a bf?" sort of thing. we'll see if she attempts to contact me anytime soon to make things right again. if not, then i'll have my answer for sure. thanks for listening and voicing your opinions guys.