i was feeling beaten and broken this morning

and it was very hard to hold back tears. i kept holding them back but they kept dripping out anyway.

then i dragged myself to my car to go the store and i got in and turned on the radio and then this came on [youtube]lGPU45dD234[/youtube]

and this [youtube]XleOkGsYgO8&ob=av3e[/youtube]

and a bunch of other good songs all in a row so i just kept driving. i floored it and went out of town then turned around

I'm glad the music made you feel better. I have that Album of the American Rejects with that song on it.

Sometimes I get in my car and drive just so I can blast some music. There's nothing like screaming down an open stretch of highway with good music to lift the spirits.

(((Csmswhs)))

thank you so much, it means more than you'll ever know, i truly hope you are making it through too

I know, sometimes I feel like that too... but music lift my spirits. Great songs you were hearing. So glad you felt better

{{{{csmswhs}}}}

I hope you're feeling better. I love to crank music when I'm feeling rotten myself...Like now.....Stone Temple Pilots is set at earsplitting and I'm feeling a tad better. I won't hear right for the rest of the week but for now, I sense an improvement in my state of mind

Why does it hurt so much when you hold in your tears?
Why did you?

I started allowing myself to do it a few months ago and it seems to come out of nowhere and I instinctively still stop myself. The most I've been able to muster is a little water works, but I am not forcing myself to do it. I am trying to just let the way I feel flow.

One time though I was just laying in bed one night and felt as if I was sucked into a black hole; no one cares about you at all or hasn't since you could wipe your own ass. That one really hurt to hold in, but it was late and I had to go to bed. I find it amazing I was able to. It felt deep. I really wish I had let myself do it that time. I actually chuckled when I stopped, that felt stranger than the actually crying spurt and accepting of reality. There is someone still living down there perhaps.

If I drove I would attempt mobile music, but I've failed every time I take the driving test. I just get so nervous. I honestly have quit on trying to drive, knowing full well the implications. A "joy ride" as it were is yet another massively common aspect of life to which I am not a part of. I just do it illegally when I have to.

Did it make you feel better?
I hope so.