New guy here....pretty straightforward.

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EuroAsiaSpice

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Alright, I've had some major depression lately due to a broken relationship, me and her has only been at it for a year anda half, but we've been broken up for about 6-8 months now.

She got over me pretty quick, we broke up with her 2nd time cheating (which actually caused her to go into a completely new relationship, with the 2nd guy.) I felt victimized and outcasted of our little circle of friends, which I did not expect since they were so attentive to me, got over it since I'm a nomad-kinda guy with cliche/posse jumping left and right.

I forced myself to hang out in her "lovey dubby" presence when she was with her boyfriend, so that I can realize that yeah, it's really over, and it worked...

I guess I drowned myself into sex and alcohol with a bunch of other women, but I realized that random NSA sex was doing worse for my depression that just being on my own, it somehow amplified that feeling of loneliness. Guess it's cause I never felt comfortable with another woman after her yet.

I think I know how to recover and what to do, but for some reason it's really heavy on me. My sleeping patterns has been screwed up for the last 3 month and I drive for my work so the lack of sleep (sometimes only 4 hours a day for a few weeks) makes me fall asleep while driving, which I nearly crashed one day.

I'm an aggressive kind of person as well, when I feel insecure or helpless I lash out. When I found out she cheated on me the second time I punched a wall and got a boxer-fracture which never healed properly, yeah it's been 6 months since that incident.

Um, not sure what else to say, I feel like I'm just going off wrongly and whatnot, but I'm looking for advice on what to do with my depression. I feel like trying to create a serious relationship even without feeling it as a kind of "rebound" which I've never had to do.

Uh, as for going out and whatnot I feel like I've got a really friendly crew around me, I work out 2 hours a day also since it helps completely emptying out the mind (thought some days I skip because of how depressed I get.)

I know there are worse off souls out there but from my own destructive past I know I am capable of suicide, and subtly as well. I've contemplated on ways to do it and what reactions I would want, sometimes feeling like I want to set myself on fire in a bathroom so that I can feel the pain I would eventually cause other people in the long run of my death.

Not saying I'm really planning on killing myself, but for it to be a repetitive subconscious theme, I don't think it's healthy at all.

P.S. if the cops do hunt down possible suicidal victims, I disapprove and will kill any cop that does try this, so please attempt to arrest me aware and armed to kill.

Ignore the p.s. if you're a regular here.
 
welcome to the forum, first of all - and i hope you will find some answers.
the fact that you work out regularly is a great thing already - not everyone can boast of such perseverance :p
 
alonewanderer said:
Mhhh, I've been there it sucked major balls, took me alot of time and a couple girlfriends to get over that. I was still having sex with her the whole time though and it exasperated the situation, well whenever she wasn't with a new guy she'd come visit me. I'm done with her, I hate her now...I'd still fresia her, agrily out of revenge. I even had a suicide attempt mixed in there followed by joaquin phoenix antics, heed this warning OTC means deathproof (hell of a hallucinagenic trip though leaving me with 50% liver function).

Yea man real talk, don't off yourself over some *****, if you still like her just adopt a patient stance on her. If you two still get along then consider what's happening as trial relationships or practice before actually getting back together. Plenty of fish in the sea though, nothing wrong with moving or travelling.

I agree with you, the fact that I know what to do is a good thing..

but the thing is actually doing them. I don't want to suicide off pills since that'll be too weak of me, I view myself in an englorified way, I'm very optimistic so I don't know how suiciding fits into my category.

I do know that, and I do know that I can find better, but I still just want her.
 
Just curious, anyone here that is well-in-doubt prosperous in life, well ahead in your goals, surrounded by many close and dearing friends, yet still feel the strength of loneliness in you?

It seems to me like everyone here are of the extremely dramatized kinds of lonelies. Seems like it's more of a superficial condition that a profound feeling.
 
I wish I could "drown myself in sex with other women" as well but I'm terrible with women! :D I can't even get one girl (my co-worker) to like me.

I can only drown myself with work. My last relationship was way back in 2003. Girlfriend cheated on me with a married man. Never had a girlfriend since. I'm 30 and I live alone.

I'm a human worker drone. :D Work is all I have really. Oh well. If I lose my job I'll shorten my existence with some DIY implements. :)
 

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