EuroAsiaSpice
Member
- Joined
- Oct 8, 2010
- Messages
- 12
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Alright, I've had some major depression lately due to a broken relationship, me and her has only been at it for a year anda half, but we've been broken up for about 6-8 months now.
She got over me pretty quick, we broke up with her 2nd time cheating (which actually caused her to go into a completely new relationship, with the 2nd guy.) I felt victimized and outcasted of our little circle of friends, which I did not expect since they were so attentive to me, got over it since I'm a nomad-kinda guy with cliche/posse jumping left and right.
I forced myself to hang out in her "lovey dubby" presence when she was with her boyfriend, so that I can realize that yeah, it's really over, and it worked...
I guess I drowned myself into sex and alcohol with a bunch of other women, but I realized that random NSA sex was doing worse for my depression that just being on my own, it somehow amplified that feeling of loneliness. Guess it's cause I never felt comfortable with another woman after her yet.
I think I know how to recover and what to do, but for some reason it's really heavy on me. My sleeping patterns has been screwed up for the last 3 month and I drive for my work so the lack of sleep (sometimes only 4 hours a day for a few weeks) makes me fall asleep while driving, which I nearly crashed one day.
I'm an aggressive kind of person as well, when I feel insecure or helpless I lash out. When I found out she cheated on me the second time I punched a wall and got a boxer-fracture which never healed properly, yeah it's been 6 months since that incident.
Um, not sure what else to say, I feel like I'm just going off wrongly and whatnot, but I'm looking for advice on what to do with my depression. I feel like trying to create a serious relationship even without feeling it as a kind of "rebound" which I've never had to do.
Uh, as for going out and whatnot I feel like I've got a really friendly crew around me, I work out 2 hours a day also since it helps completely emptying out the mind (thought some days I skip because of how depressed I get.)
I know there are worse off souls out there but from my own destructive past I know I am capable of suicide, and subtly as well. I've contemplated on ways to do it and what reactions I would want, sometimes feeling like I want to set myself on fire in a bathroom so that I can feel the pain I would eventually cause other people in the long run of my death.
Not saying I'm really planning on killing myself, but for it to be a repetitive subconscious theme, I don't think it's healthy at all.
P.S. if the cops do hunt down possible suicidal victims, I disapprove and will kill any cop that does try this, so please attempt to arrest me aware and armed to kill.
Ignore the p.s. if you're a regular here.
She got over me pretty quick, we broke up with her 2nd time cheating (which actually caused her to go into a completely new relationship, with the 2nd guy.) I felt victimized and outcasted of our little circle of friends, which I did not expect since they were so attentive to me, got over it since I'm a nomad-kinda guy with cliche/posse jumping left and right.
I forced myself to hang out in her "lovey dubby" presence when she was with her boyfriend, so that I can realize that yeah, it's really over, and it worked...
I guess I drowned myself into sex and alcohol with a bunch of other women, but I realized that random NSA sex was doing worse for my depression that just being on my own, it somehow amplified that feeling of loneliness. Guess it's cause I never felt comfortable with another woman after her yet.
I think I know how to recover and what to do, but for some reason it's really heavy on me. My sleeping patterns has been screwed up for the last 3 month and I drive for my work so the lack of sleep (sometimes only 4 hours a day for a few weeks) makes me fall asleep while driving, which I nearly crashed one day.
I'm an aggressive kind of person as well, when I feel insecure or helpless I lash out. When I found out she cheated on me the second time I punched a wall and got a boxer-fracture which never healed properly, yeah it's been 6 months since that incident.
Um, not sure what else to say, I feel like I'm just going off wrongly and whatnot, but I'm looking for advice on what to do with my depression. I feel like trying to create a serious relationship even without feeling it as a kind of "rebound" which I've never had to do.
Uh, as for going out and whatnot I feel like I've got a really friendly crew around me, I work out 2 hours a day also since it helps completely emptying out the mind (thought some days I skip because of how depressed I get.)
I know there are worse off souls out there but from my own destructive past I know I am capable of suicide, and subtly as well. I've contemplated on ways to do it and what reactions I would want, sometimes feeling like I want to set myself on fire in a bathroom so that I can feel the pain I would eventually cause other people in the long run of my death.
Not saying I'm really planning on killing myself, but for it to be a repetitive subconscious theme, I don't think it's healthy at all.
P.S. if the cops do hunt down possible suicidal victims, I disapprove and will kill any cop that does try this, so please attempt to arrest me aware and armed to kill.
Ignore the p.s. if you're a regular here.