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((((STERLINGGGGGG))))

Hang in there... I think things will get better for you soon, you just hafta get through this time right now. :)
 
double post, and she says she doesn't talk.. :p

Good thing is that your problem seems to have a simple solution: go out and talk to people.
Bad thing is that it's so extremely hard to do that.

But try. You said that it sometimes turns out okay, so that's good. It means you're perfectly capable of doing it, just perhaps out of practice, out of confidence. And don't worry about making a fool of yourself. People do it all the time. I do it all the time. And I had same problem - not talking for fear of saying something stupid. I still do at times. Do people laugh at people who make a fool of themselves? No. Not unless they know they can, or they're really immature. Or well, unless it was a cool joke. I guess. But then they'd laugh at the joke, not at you. Perhaps some will avoid you, but many others will want to hang out with you more.

You may want to think how many times did someone mention you being a fool, saying stupid things, etc. Who's pushing your self confidence lower? Others or yourself? If it's others, well.. screw'em. If it's only or mostly you, that's something you'll have to deal with yourself. It is difficult but talk more, just say something whatever. People are more uncomfortable with people who don't talk than with people who talk stupid things.

Job: try finding a job where you can be bit more alone. And also, people are just too busy with work and won't stare at you or look at you more than needed, anyway.

Counseling could help, it's nothing bad. But if you don't want it, ok. Reconsider it, though.

And weirdos are cool. (D)

Yes, do make a change. And I'm sure someone would seriously want you, now it's up to you to find them.
And talk. For either you talk and get along with people and eventually even make some friends (even if you talk 100% bullshit, which you don't, some few will still be there) OR you stay quiet and nobody will enjoy talking to you and will eventually withdraw.
 
I think the best thing to do is to just go out and see people but ofcourse this is not necessarily going to change the feelings... i dont really have that much advice because i am pretty much in the same boat. I can relate to you in alot of what you said.

The times when I force myself to go interact with people, it either turns out okay or a complete disaster because I don't really talk. I don't talk due to the fact that I feel like I will say something stupid and make a fool of myself. The times when it is okay is when the other person does most of the talking, but in that case...they prolly think I'm some weirdo.

Yep thats exactly my line of thought aswell and it sucks but its just how it is, this is one of the reasons why i personally dont like social situations with people i dont know. You know what its also hard because it seems so false if you go into a situation thinking right im going to be happy and confident... sigh... i dont like to just blatently lie to myself like that.

I'm not a good factor in it either because I'm more verbally abusive to myself than another person could be. And you see....when I get extremely upset with myself, I'll sometimes physically hurt myself. Nothing suicidal or anything...but still abusive. I'm embarrassed of myself.

I also beat myself up but not physically just mentaly i think its just because i hate the fact i cant socialize like a "normal" person would, it makes me feel lesser and pathetic. On the other hand i do realise how self defeat is not actually a good thing and i "try" not to beat myself up about it, its just that some situations suck and sometimes when your lonely these thought processes happen. I guess the best thing to do if you start to get in this frame of mineset is just to start doing something which will catch your attention... ofcourse this doesnt always work though. :(

I want a "significant other". I don't think that would cure my loneliness or anything, but I do want one. And yeah "you need to love yourself before someone else will love you"...I've heard it before, no need to hear it again. The phrase somewhat irritates me actually :/.

Yeah that phrase isnt strictly true, ofcourse someone can love you even if you have social problems or perhaps depression or whatever, pretty rediculous phrase really but i guess what its trying to get at is that if you are confident in yourself it will be more attractive to others. I too want a "significant other" and i actually think it would help, for me anyway, i think it would actually cause me to be stronger and also stronger for the other person in the relationship aswell kinda as if its giving you more of a reason to be here... that might sound a bit rediculous to some but if you havnt had much affection in your life then to have a partner who you can talk to, just having them be there is comforting and it can help some people.
Humans generally do also want physical affection too and no im not just talking about sex or kissing but just simple hugging, just the act of someone showing some kind of affection towards you by their own will i think is a very nice thing and i envy those who have it in their life... especially those who have a proper loving relationship.

I guess the best thing is to just get out there and do things, i have found when im more busy then life does generally seem a bit better. Its just really hard sometimes when you dont like being put in social situations or just feel really lonely, down and a bit depressed.
 
Haley, you are wonderfully creative and funny in your chat room comments. It brightens my day when I see you there. I think you have a lot to offer in social situations.

You need to start seeing yourself as socially desirable because you are. Don't worry about what other people think. Look people in eyes and smile when you say hi.

I want you to be happy, Haley. You deserve it. So get out there and show the world how wonderfully creative you are.

Apollo
 
4 people love you so far on ALL.

I make 5. :D

If you can make us <3 you, then I think you are ENTIRELY capable of getting people offline to <3 you as well.

((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((hugs)))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))

Also, you show traits of a good friend. You got all defensive of me when i showed you that link where the guys were bullying me, that tells me you feel LOYALTY towards your friends and guess what, that trait is a very valuable one in friendship. :)
 
Sterling said:
I'm fed up with guys just wanting one thing, then leaving when they don't get it or they guys who only want a size 2 cute little idiot. I refuse to dumb myself down just to get a guy.

Amen, sista!
 

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