L
lostandconfused
Guest
Hello everybody. Sorry to have to be here amongst you all & bringing my bag load of missery with me, but i just needed somewhere to clear my mind, to leave some words, just to feel 'something' apart from this pain inside.
Its my first post, so i hope i've put this in the right place. Cant think straight in all my confusion right now.
Does the pain we get from messed up relationships ever go again? I feel so lost, abandoned, used & confused by the women i have met over the past year. This feeling is killing me. Im not strong enough to cope with it all
i waited for nearly 40 years to find somebody (no, i dont live underground, it just happened that way). A random meeting led me to 'eventually' start a wonderful 2 month 'dodgy' relationship with a lady, my 1st ever relationship i was dragged in, seduced on my first visit, and then led along such a confusing road to nowhere, that Einstein would have given up on it all.
in my pain, i desperatly hung on, obeyed her every request, always in the hope i would be allowed a hug again (crazy eh?), and when it all got too much to cope with, i eventually found another lady 'online' accidentely. I tried desperately to end my lonliness with my new friend, whos very life seemed to depend on my being here to talk to, and what happens?
dropped without any warning
Both have told me i am sooo georgous & caring & wonderful, yet in both situations, there is big barriers placed, and i am now seriously left thinking - is this what i am going to have done every time i reach out to another?
I dont feel i can ever trust anybody again but inside, i feel i MUST be wrong feeling that. I am just posting this now, to try to help myself clear my mind. I feel soooo lost in it all.
Can somebody much wiser than me tell me if this is what i get forever? or does the pain fade as time goes by?
I was dropped last week, but only confirmed today. I'd like to think i only have to hang on for a month, or maybe 6
And really, should i bother ever again? But how do we hide from it? Love and desperation and lonliness seem to have very powerful magic.
*snuffles*
*cries*
_________________________________________________________
(i've just made a brief message here, missing lots of details, cos i don't want it to put anybody to sleep reading it if anybody will).
Best Wishes to us all.
Its my first post, so i hope i've put this in the right place. Cant think straight in all my confusion right now.
Does the pain we get from messed up relationships ever go again? I feel so lost, abandoned, used & confused by the women i have met over the past year. This feeling is killing me. Im not strong enough to cope with it all
i waited for nearly 40 years to find somebody (no, i dont live underground, it just happened that way). A random meeting led me to 'eventually' start a wonderful 2 month 'dodgy' relationship with a lady, my 1st ever relationship i was dragged in, seduced on my first visit, and then led along such a confusing road to nowhere, that Einstein would have given up on it all.
in my pain, i desperatly hung on, obeyed her every request, always in the hope i would be allowed a hug again (crazy eh?), and when it all got too much to cope with, i eventually found another lady 'online' accidentely. I tried desperately to end my lonliness with my new friend, whos very life seemed to depend on my being here to talk to, and what happens?
dropped without any warning
Both have told me i am sooo georgous & caring & wonderful, yet in both situations, there is big barriers placed, and i am now seriously left thinking - is this what i am going to have done every time i reach out to another?
I dont feel i can ever trust anybody again but inside, i feel i MUST be wrong feeling that. I am just posting this now, to try to help myself clear my mind. I feel soooo lost in it all.
Can somebody much wiser than me tell me if this is what i get forever? or does the pain fade as time goes by?
I was dropped last week, but only confirmed today. I'd like to think i only have to hang on for a month, or maybe 6
And really, should i bother ever again? But how do we hide from it? Love and desperation and lonliness seem to have very powerful magic.
*snuffles*
*cries*
_________________________________________________________
(i've just made a brief message here, missing lots of details, cos i don't want it to put anybody to sleep reading it if anybody will).
Best Wishes to us all.