How you feel about yourself

How do you feel after speaking with someone you know? Do you feel you have mad a good impression? Do you think that you might be friends with him/her in the future? I always look down on myself
I never know what to say because I fear I might say something nosey or stupid...

Mmmm I know what you mean, I felt always shy at first and I tend to stay quiet it takes years for people to realise that I can be funny and relaxed. However a recent love affair has made me feel basically terrible I lost all my confidence and the will to go on.

paula you just described me there also !

and i too lost my confidence when the long term relationship i was in broke up.

not easy to get back up on top is it ?
seventeen months and im still at a low

I went to the Eagles concert, and loved it... in the Cardiff Millenium stadium ... the music was a comfort.. sadly the memory will be of one with the X friend. Why is it that a woman changes for the man, but the man doesnot he just expects you to fit in with him. I am tired of being someone for some one, Just want to feel myself.. and perhaps in the end Ill retire and live ALONE. By choice. I feel even worse today but inside me.. is a smile... as every day things will get better.

paula4u said:

I went to the Eagles concert, and loved it... in the Cardiff Millenium stadium ... the music was a comfort.. sadly the memory will be of one with the X friend. Why is it that a woman changes for the man, but the man doesnot he just expects you to fit in with him. I am tired of being someone for some one, Just want to feel myself.. and perhaps in the end Ill retire and live ALONE. By choice. I feel even worse today but inside me.. is a smile... as every day things will get better.

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i changed a lot just before i split with my partner. and in fact since being single i have changed even more probably ! Nobody should have to change to please their other half. at least thats what i think .. but what do i know lol

I agree, women are inclined to change, we shouldnot. I enjoy being myself!

paula4u said:

I agree, women are inclined to change, we shouldnot. I enjoy being myself!

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i'm a man tho lol
i could wear a dress if u like tho and be an honourary woman !

Aha, I stand corrected, seriously yes even men change for their partners perhaps this is why I wanted BF to experience independence and fun... before committing to a fully fledged relationship. I felt he needed time out. Two years later, sadly my wish for his happiness back fired, He enjoyed it so much that now he prefers being single... and has had enough fun for me to say, this is more than fun, its simply being unfaithfull and the man is a slut.. especially as it upset me so much that I wanted to give him an ultimatum. I never did because in the end you know yourself its better to be lonely than accept loose morals. Every time I walk away he stops me. I cant stop this time its too painfull to stay with him. So Yeh I lost confidence big time.

Test said:

How do you feel after speaking with someone you know? Do you feel you have mad a good impression? Do you think that you might be friends with him/her in the future? I always look down on myself
I never know what to say because I fear I might say something nosey or stupid...

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I assume you mean after speaking with someone one does not know? I do not think I have many problems speaking with people I know well and that know me. But when I am speaking, or going to speak, to someone I do not know I am always very afraid of saying something stupid - so most of the time I say much too little and oftentimes (I think) come out as being arrogant. Afterwards I feel stupid, and regret not saying the things that I should have said during the conversation. I think many shy people have this problem of seeming to other people as being arrogant, when in reality they are just shy and afraid to say something stupid (so they say too little, and always seek a quick way to end the conversation).

basicly i am just seeking attention..and i am almost always shy..i dont like to start anything..
i had a relationship..than it went horrable..now i am even afraid more than b4..about rejection..
i am in pain as i type..
as its still freash..
i just hate girls now..
she approves than rejects..
as if she is afraid fo something
i dont know what cus i am not mel gibso (what women want)
..just hope i can overcome it..and be brave

I don't have a problem of talking to the, few, people i really know. But then again, they're not too many. I don't have a problem talking to people i don't know and never will meet again. I have been talking at workshops and seminars and stuff like that, but that's more like playing a part and don't care what impression I do. But I have a hard time getting to know people. It's hard to talk to someone knowing you'll have to meet them again. That always makes me go over the conversation again and again in my head, feeling I should have done things different.

If you are worrying whether you made a good impression or not then it's a sign you care too much about what other people think. My personal advice is to just not care what other people think of you and focus more on learning who you are, what you like and what you want to do. Whether you and another person are gonna have closer ties in the future is not up to you. Just be yourself, I'm sure there are things to be proud of about yourself. Dont let your environment or other people affect you, affect your environment. Goodluck.

I don't speak to anyone at all, I am scared of social contact.. when I try to, people just ignore me as if I wasn't there. Even online..

I feel good in someways. But I got 40 years to live and im 15 so I try not to think of it that mutch. If I do I just walk away to my room and play Video Games. But other than that I feel ok with a girl friend and a lot of friends. (in different states)

Often it is getting close to some one and when it is gone, some people just cant pick up the pieces. The fact is all people are diffferent there are the good the bad and the medium. Some people take us to passion to high points, but they also may drop us and when we fall we fall from a high point. Is it easier to stay with a medium person so at least we can control our emotions and not get so hurt? I'm a grown woman with grandchildren yet I fell in love 5 years or so ago, still trying to finish with this guy as he is destroying me with his games and lies.. but in my heart............. I am so stupid, I believe in love in destiny.... in soulmates... I guess I'm still learning

mimizu said:

I don't speak to anyone at all, I am scared of social contact.. when I try to, people just ignore me as if I wasn't there. Even online..

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Speak up for your self, mimuzu......... there is always some one that will listen, (hugs)

Thank you for the hug paula. I can't find anyone that will listen to me, there is something that causes me intense pain now, and there is no single human being to help me with it, because the person who is causing me pain was the single person I ever was close with, the single person I ever trusted.

Well even a stranger can listen, and dont worry you can Pm me ok? I know what you mean about pain, got a fair dose to carry myself. Sweet dreams where ever you are.

I have no problem with being myself but people here won't appreciate that if they're looking at my face at the same time. People here translate looks into personality instead of noticing personality as a separate thing. The worst thing is that I tend to be shy and I still tend to hate myself even though other people have it worse.

trapped.....anxious......bored.......incomplete........unfulfilled.....scared........curious.....STALE.