Anyone had trouble getting help for depression?

Here I am again, sleepless and stressed out. My Clinical Depression has been kicking lately, and the more I reach out for help, the less I feel like anyone wants too. It has taken a long time to get to this point for me, and now I can't get counselors or psychiatrists to even return my calls to make appointments. Trying to get into the system is harder than I thought. I really don't have that much fight left in me anymore to deal with this.

I think I have been having trouble at school as well. I can't tell though; I don't know what people think of me. I try to put on a nice front, but it is just that, a front. I am guessing they see what I think is hidden.

I am so lonely, I really don't know what I am going to do. I mostly want to die because I don't think I am going to turn out to be much of anything. I feel like a waste of space, and that people really could care less, whether its professionally, or personally. I reach out, but get nothing. I've been depressed for so long I don't remember the good days. It has been so many years since I've felt good.

I have no one anymore that will listen. I can't even pay someone to listen.
Anyone else had difficulty getting help for stuff like depression or anxiety?

I did have trouble, because I didnt feel like seeing a therapist to begin with. I hated it, and I finally got better with Prozac.

My advice is to schedule a visit with your general doctor and tell him/her about this. They can usaully make you therapy appointments or give you a reference.

Lemon's advice was perfect and if you feel you're in a crisis situation, look in your local phone directory and you'll find hot-line numbers. In some cases and states they'll send a person right to your house to talk things over with and assist you in getting ongoing help. I hope you can find the help you need.

Well... that is what I'm talking about, getting the help.
I am so grateful for the replies.
It is more than I've gotten from any doctors or therapists.

I actually fronted up to a clinic today, and was turned away and given the name of another. This goes on a lot. I can spend, and have spent an entire day almost bouncing from one clinic to another.

Calling a doctor; I have given up on that. I did have an appointment about a month ago or more, and the doctor canceled on me. Actually, it has happened a few times in one form or another. I have rotten luck with this.

I call a crisis line, and have good dialog with a few of the people there, but if I get some of the other people, it will make my depression worse. It is just the way they are with me on the phone. I know that sounds weird; lets just say I've spent some time on the phone.

I am in crisis, and have been for months or more. I am trying what I think I should do, seek help. I tell people this, it's like they half listen and say, oh you'll be okay. I feel like because I haven't killed myself, people aren't taking me seriously. I feel horrible. I lost my career because of a suicide attempt.
It is enormously frustrating right now.

Thank you for the replies everyone.

Always,
I just had another thought for you while reading this. Walk right into you local emergency room and tell them you're in a crisis situation and someone referred you to them. Pour your heart and guts out about what you've gone through and what you're experiencing.

Now you brought an agency into it and made them responsible, (The Hospital). They HAVE to allow you to see someone and that someone must give immediate care and set you up with some help. Hospitals can't afford lawsuits in refusing care.

I guess I forgot that is an option to get into a system. thanks for bringing that up.

i've had trouble getting help, but only because i've denied myself help for so long, even to this day. i don't believe that visits to a therapist or a psychologist or whatever (i'm not familiar with who does what) will actually help me with my problems. maybe they can, but i don't believe in them. it's like, "okay, you want to help me, but you also want to rape my credit card for every hour of your time?". no thanks.

i also don't believe in taking medication to help ease the pain. i don't believe that my happiness should come in the form of a drug, unless that drug is the sweet company of someone that really does care about me, and that's what i want. i want to find my happiness in other people's hearts and minds, given that i can't find any of it in mine.

...and then there's religion. i'm a christian, but that doesn't guarantee anything but salvation. Jesus himself spent many lonely days when He felt depressed and unwanted just like me. many people find happiness in serving God or a god, and it's something that i should be able to do too, but i've tried and i just can't find it.

i'm sorry that i rambled on aimlessly here, but i thank you for reading this far.

i can relate to your demons, for they've been my own not so long ago. therapy helped me a lot a year ago, but i couldn't afford it any longer, so it was followed by many relapses. the important thing is to find the right therapist for you. not any doctor does the trick. i hope you will be lucky and find him in that hospital you will run into and pour out your heart!

i'm still having a hard time being the patient and the doctor right now. but mostly, my girlfriend who struggles with the same thing helps me out a lot. don't you have someone close to you that can make you feel a little more safe? or to make you not want to hurt yourself?

This is a particularly lonely point for me; unfortunately no. I moved last year and basically isolated myself by doing that. I've been working on friends, but really getting nowhere, which I think is because of my depression issues honestly, I think I'm putting people off.
I could not go to a doctor for this for a long time because I was a commercial pilot for a living. The governing administration would rather you suffer, than seek help and surely not want you to medicate. Their reasons are based on old ideologies, but are current rules, like many outdated things in the industry.
They have data saying that flying on depression meds is safe, and have for quite a while. Other countries changed their rules a long time ago, but the U.S. still hasn't.
I finally had to walk away from my career because of it, that seemed a little to self destructive for the long term girlfriend I had at the time, so she left me.
I went into the hospital and was baker acted about 3 years ago; I'm still paying off the bills.
I moved for a fresh start, to try school and a routine. Nothing has worked out fully yet. I do have successes but they are rare. I wish I was closer to family, or my old childhood friends, but I'm not. All I have is me at the moment.
I can my parents on the phone often, but my mother is a very distant type of mother, and my father, is very caring, but does not understand depression at all.
In a way, school is good as a distraction. I have class tonight, so I don't know what my week will bring.