People-Pleasing Personality
Appearance to the world of the people-pleasing personality
Feelings inside persons with the people-pleasing personality traits
Negative consequences of people-pleasing behaviors
Irrational beliefs of people with the people-pleasing personality traits
Turning negative people-pleasing traits into positive potential

Appearance to the world of the people-pleasing personality

* Very organized
* Easily liked
* Placators or appeasers
* Friendly, outgoing, gregarious
* Helpful, supportive
* Courteous and considerate of others
* Always smiling
* Interested in others' welfare
* Cooperative; real "team players''
* Generous with own time and energy
* Ready to volunteer
* Accept delegation easily
* "Company men''; very loyal
* Ready to take on any new challenge that comes along
* Work hard at pleasing others
* Talented, skillful, and creative
* A pleasure to spend time with
* Happy, joyful, full of fun
* Encouraging and reassuring
* Go along with requests made by others
* People mixers
* Assets in any conversation
* "Together,'' warm, and caring persons
* People sought out for friendship; popular socially

Feelings inside persons with the people-pleasing personality traits

* Fear of loss of approval
* Fear of rejection
* Fear of loss of personal identity
* Fear of loss of personal worth
* Denial of problems
* Self-denial or ignoring of personal rights
* Feeling lonely and isolated from others
* Avoid conflicts or fights at any cost
* Feeling not "good'' enough
* Feeling undeserving
* Feeling inferior to others
* Concern about satisfying others' demands
* Insecurity about personal abilities, skills, or knowledge
* Compulsive need to please others
* Unhappy over not pleasing others
* Embarrassed by personal looks or behavior that displeases others
* Confusion about why it takes so much energy to please others
* Fear of not "doing best'' for others' sake
* Fear of letting their friends and family down
* Fear of failure
* Fear of it being "found out'' they are not as good as they appear to others
* Fear that others will recognize their failings
* Desire to run away to avoid the stress of "always'' needing to be "good''
* Exhaustion from always trying to be "perfect''
* Disappointment in not being able to make everyone happy
* Critical of how well they are doing in their personal lives
* Feel unappreciated or taken advantage of
* Feel taken for granted
* Feel like they are being treated like victims
* Feel like the martyr for others
* Fear of making a decision lest it be the wrong one
* Come unglued easily under pressure; unorganized

Negative consequences of people-pleasing behaviors

* Low self-esteem
* Loss of personal identity
* Loss of personal rights
* Being taken advantage of
* Loss of personal time
* Ineffectiveness in managing work
* Inability to direct or supervise others
* Inability to achieve personal goals
* Inability to take a leadership role
* Poor problem solving abilities
* Burnout on the job or at home
* Chronic state of being unappreciated
* Immobilized by irrational beliefs
* Guilt over not accomplishing enough or not being pleasing enough for others
* Inability to maintain healthy interpersonal relationships
* Loss of appreciation for self attributes
* Inability to accept kindnesses from others
* Chronic state of self-deprecation
* Chronic state of being hard on self
* Lack of trust in others' sincerity
* Chronic state of insecurity in interacting with others
* Inability to make a decision
* Do not know how to relax

Irrational beliefs of people with the people-pleasing personality traits

* I must be liked by everyone.
* I must do nothing to upset others.
* I must work harder to make things better for others.
* They would never like me if they knew the truth about me.
* I must be careful in my decision making so as not to upset anyone.
* I can never do enough to please them.
* I am responsible for other peoples' happiness.
* How they respond to me is important.
* The harder I work for them, the more they will appreciate me.
* If they don't like me, I'm no good!
* Always put others first! Put yourself last.
* There is no task I won't do for you, large or small.
* People can only like you if you appear nice, pleasant, friendly, and cheerful to them.
* Your only role in life is giving to or helping others.
* If you are not successful, you are a loser and losers are ignored, unloved, and unwanted.
* It's not who you are but what you do that counts.
* You must always be understanding and have an open mind with people who are hurting you or putting you down.
* If someone doesn't accept me, it must be that I'm not "good enough'' to be accepted.
* No matter what I do, it never seems to be "good enough.''
* I can do nothing right. I am worthless, useless, but I can't let others see this about me or they will reject me.

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