Coming to terms with my sexual orientation

Well, how to start...I'm asexual. It's something about me that I have kept undercover for a long time. From friends and family. It is something I continuously try to come to terms with, and yet I cannot do so due to the stress it brings when I think about the impression it might have on others.

I am completely respectful of the preferences of others whether they are heterosexual, homosexual, bisexual, or asexual; the way I see it "to each their own"; but unfortunately, there are people out there that are so enraged about this topic.

For those who don't know, asexuality in its broadest sense, is the lack of sexual attraction or the lack of interest in and desire for sex. I also see it as "looks don't matter". What I really care about is personality, someone I can connect with. Not "getting some". I enjoy romantic things that would make most guys my age puke and laugh at me about my "manliness", and its depressing. What's wrong with wanting love over sex?

The problem arises is that I am a 17year old senior in high school. I am stuck in a generation where it is socially acceptable where sex is the rage and the "cool" thing to talk about / do. It makes me really uncomfortable when I hear guys talking about a girl in a ~certain manner~ that most of you can guess, and vice-versa. Most of my friends do not know much about asexuality, but when I happened to "mention" it when we were talking about orientation, they absolutely ridiculed it... It makes it really hard to tell my friends if that's their reaction. As for my family, my parents always say "Have you found that special girl yet? " Not person, it is automatically assumed I should be "straight" My parents are friends with a homosexual couple so they don't see it as a problem, but if either my younger sister or I were not heterosexual, they would be "disturbed". You would think that my sister and I would have something to relate but she is on a similar stance as my parents. She is heterosexual and always jokes about what my orientation is since I have never told anyone. She has a bisexual friend but mocks me if I was anything but heterosexual...oh the hypocrisy in my family!!!! I wanted to note even the homosexuals and bisexuals are harassing each other about orientation and it saddens me. Why can't we all just accept each others differences...

My only sanction of relief is on an online chat-room I am active on. There are people there that understand me and don't ridicule me. But even then the time I spend with them is merely a fraction of the time I have to spend with people who's ignorance of others preferences astonishes me.

I want to voice out the truth during my last year of HS so I can clear my mind before entering the world, but there is this aching feeling that my life at home and at school would become a nightmare.This may seem like a rant but it's something that has been bottling up in me for many years. Why am i so different... I can only wonder.. how can I deal with this?

That's good . . you shouldn't have to pretend to be something you're not.
Be, or do what makes you happy .


And about your sister . . or her friend . .
Just tell them to fresia off and mind their own business.


Also about the . . enjoying romantic stuff . .
Don't be ashamed of that, (Need a girl to confirm this . . I assume) Girls love guys who are romantic.
I like romantic comedies once in a while . .

I've never had a girlfriend before, unfortunately.
But when I do. . I don't think i'd ever think of her, or treat her as an 'object' to have sex with
I want a girl who cares about me, loves being with me, etc
I duno, like really really good friends.


Anyways, here's a bucket if you need to vomit .

*hugs xAtrocityxTony*

it sounds like you're more romantic asexual (from wiki) "Asexuals, while typically lacking in sexual desire for either sex, may engage in purely emotional romantic relationships"

I actually have a friend who is asexual and she is really cool it's actually a but more common than you think, I've actually met several people who consider themselves asexual

I can understand you feel weird, it's often uncomfortable being something other than the norm, I had similar issues in high school, when all my friends were talking about johnny dept's pects, and his marvoless tattoos, sexy mustace, and.................. *begins to feel ill* D; I'll stop there. *steals bucket*

the important thing is to be yourself, it's okay to be asexual or whatever, who knows someday you might find another asexual person that you really connect with, and you could have a non sexual relationship with them, like amy and sheldom from the big bang theory classic example





they both probably have aspergers, but I find it hilarious

high school is rough, it's true, it's a crazy lab beaker of pheromones,
and it's terrible that your friends would react that way. How do you know your parents wouldn't be ok with it? They love you unconditionally and I'm sure they would understand. soon after highschool I'm sure you'll be able to find more mature people to hang out with. People are becoming much more acceptable to different sexual orientations, I'm sure you don't want to jeopardize your friendship with your classmates, you don't have to tell them, but if the way they talk is making you uncomfortable, let them know. They should be understandng, although for straight highschool males, I think because of their overzealous libido ( no offensive to any high school males) it's hard for them to imagine anyone who doesn't want to get laid, I think it's hard for them to understand the notion of asexuality. But over time, when well some people become more mature, I'm sure you can find friends that will accept you for who you are and be okay with it.

The first step is acceptance, and one of the hardest part's is coming to terms with it yourself, over time you'll feel more comfortable with your sexuality, and it won't seem as such a big deal,


you should also check out aven the asexual visability and education network
http://www.asexuality.org/home/
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Asexual_Visibility_and_Education_Network

ohh i didn't know there was a flag,

this is the asexual flag, fly it proudly




and as always I would like to depart a with fruit basket a gift for all my non hetero's brethren



I also have sparkly band aids, and the complete collection of cher if need be XD


it get's better

*hugs*

Thank you both, your words mean a lot. I may not have the courage to speak out now, but maybe one day before I graduate, I can spill everything out. The buckets and videos are much appreciated.

Hi Atrocity-
Your post is interesting, I've never heard of asexuality before. But I know there is a whole spectrum of sexuality, it's not just gay, straight or bi.
High school can be very brutal for everyone. I was trying to figure out my own identity back then and I know it's normal to be having the thoughts you're having. Stay strong, my friend, it's gonna be ok.

Teresa

I think asexuality is really cool. I feel for you, dude. The world puts so much emphasis on relationships that it begins to forget that some people really don't want that. And that's awesome too.

I hate it when people place other people's value on relationships, financial/social status, religious affiliation, etc. WHY CAN'T WE ALL JUST GET ALONG?!

If I weren't already a lesbian (never been in a relationship, though), I might just snag that asexual flag because it's really beastly awesome.

zombieslayer said:

I might just snag that asexual flag because it's really beastly awesome.

Click to expand...

It's really not that awesome.

It's just a lifestyle choice, like preferring bread over crackers. Who cares if someone's asexual or homosexual or heterosexual? None of those is better or more awesome than any other. They're just lifestyles.

im not asexual but i know what you mean. i want to find love and someone to connect with just as much as sex. maybe its just because i have never experienced sex. i would prefer to "make love" rather than just "getting some." i find most guys dont think like that. actually im the only guy i know that doesnt think like that.

Badjedidude said:

zombieslayer said:

I might just snag that asexual flag because it's really beastly awesome.

Click to expand...

It's really not that awesome.

It's just a lifestyle choice, like preferring bread over crackers. Who cares if someone's asexual or homosexual or heterosexual? None of those is better or more awesome than any other. They're just lifestyles.

Click to expand...

I definitely get what you're saying. I guess the reason people can't get along is because we're having contests to see who is better.
Although, sexuality isn't a choice. I feel like a PC thug saying that. And I hate saying PC thug.
I'm just gay and hate rainbows. I kinda like gray and purple. haha