I'm thinking of killing myself...

Not that I haven't thought of it before. But, I really haven nothing to live for and no future.

I dropped out of school, I haven't started working yet, I failed my driving test three times. I am not smart, I am ugly.

I'm twenty years old and I started balding. I'm pretty sure I'll have no hair by the end of the year.

I've never had a relationship. I'll die fat, ugly, bald and alone. So why keep up with this honeysuckle anyway.

Because of no school, I have no future beyond living with my parents and working in my dad's shop forever. Just sitting in little room alone, bald and ugly.

I'm tired of this honeysuckle, I want to end it.

geeky_loser said:

Not that I haven't thought of it before. But, I really haven nothing to live for and no future.

I dropped out of school, I haven't started working yet, I failed my driving test three times. I am not smart, I am ugly.

I'm twenty years old and I started balding. I'm pretty sure I'll have no hair by the end of the year.

I've never had a relationship. I'll die fat, ugly, bald and alone. So why keep up with this honeysuckle anyway.

Because of no school, I have no future beyond living with my parents and working in my dad's shop forever. Just sitting in little room alone, bald and ugly.

I'm tired of this honeysuckle, I want to end it.

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Wow....pretty heavy post.
I'm sorry that you feel the way you do, and I will tell you, keep going.
I don't know what else to say to you. I don't know what help is available for you where you are, but what there is you should seek out.
You are 20...you have no idea what the future may hold for you. Don't give up before you've even started.
And let me tell you, bald, fat, and ugly aint really a bad way to go. I know, I'm bald, fat, and ugly. (at least I see myself that way. probably not true)

I say let the Forum see what you look like. post your picture on the faces thread.

anyway...hang in there.

Oh sure there's help. It's just not helping. I've been medicated, in therapy, I had times when I felt better. That is, when I managed to forget that I've been practically decomposing since I turned nineteeen. It's my fault, I don't lead a healthy life and now I'm paying for that. Too late to reverse it though.

I was even in a psych ward for a while.

I have no future really. I probably won't be able to go back to school. It costs too much money, and I'm not good enough to qualify for scholarships and stuff. I might try and get a degree in a trade school (the Serbian equivalent of) and just work. Academia doesn't seem right for me, I'm too dumb for it.

Right now, though things are looking grim. I have a whole year of nothing to do but work for my father. I wanted to try and lead a healthier life, but it's hard and ultimately unrewarding. Although I suppose I should eventually just work out and get roided out, shave my head and be a thug. Better than being a doughey with a combover.

Hi.

Look, just a couple of months ago I did not feel very different from you. Fat, ugly, going absolutely nowhere.. I hated my life.

I decided to turn it around (it is possible, there are thing you can do, and you know it), and even though it was hard and required lots of time and dedication, it has payed off. I am no longer fat, I've made friends and I feel I'm going somewhere in life. It turned around so quickly for me, I felt I had hit rock bottom but found the motivation necessary, and now I am happier than I've ever been. Please understand that you have a lot of possibilites, and to waste them just because of bad memories and your current situation is a terrible idea.

After the rain comes the sun, trust me.

Not when you're balding. It's pretty much nature telling you not to bother.

C'mon man, things will get better for you, I'm sure. I know it sounds corny, but you've got to try and look at the bright side of things. Some chicks actually like guys with a shaved head. If your hairline is starting to recede or you're getting a bald patch on top of your head, just shave it all off! And fat? You're worried about a little fat? That's nothing a little diet and exercise couldn't handle. I can tell you first hand that lifting weights will do wonders for people with low self-esteem and depression. Once you start looking and feeling better about yourself, your confidence will start to go up and the opposite sex will take notice I know what it's like to feel like you'll be alone for the rest of your life, and it sucks, but somewhere out there is that special someone and it's just a matter of time before you run into her. Hell, I didn't have my first real girlfriend or get laid until I hit 23.

Hang in there geeky. I hope this helps in some way.

I still look like I have hair, it only really started. You can't see I'm bald in pictures or in person, you need to actually run your fingers through it or get really close and inspect. It'll get worse in a year or two, sure.
I doubt I'd look good with a shaved head. Most guys don't.

And I'm gay. So that complicates things.

Propecia *thumbs up* , use it before you lose it all. It only takes dedication to transform your body, it's not even really hard work, the hardest part is showing up and avoiding junkfood. There is no magic switch to flip you just have to start doing something about it.

Mitternacht is right, the mind cannot be healthy if the body is not.

There are plenty of guys with shaved heads that look sexy. So take that into consideration. My hair is thinning, but it's from stress.

You're not a bad lookin guy!
And i'm not just saying it to be nice.
That's the truth.

Perhaps you're exaggerating things a bit?
I really doubt you'll go bald by the end of the year.

You dropped out of school because you didn't understand it?
Or because of other problems?

Try practising driving a bit more.
Ask friends or family if you can borrow their car to practice with (if you don't have your own).

Try to make an effort to be more positive.
Do it for your family and friends.
If you did kill yourself, imagine how much they'd miss you.

If you still need to talk, PM me, or find me in the ALL chatroom.


Take care.

Yeah just shave your head right now, or go for a buzz cut. Hell I shave mine all off just for the hell of it once summer hits. People always think they have weird lumpy heads or some other reason why they can't do it. It's usually just fine.

Join the military, pick some kind of job where you aren't just handed a rifle and told to go kill something. They'll train you at it from scratch, and once your contract is up you've broken through the no job = no experience / no experience = no job barrier.

Also took me 5 tries to pass my driving test. I'm doing great!

geeky_loser said:

I dropped out of school, I haven't started working yet, I failed my driving test three times. I am not smart, I am ugly.

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I dropped out too; get your GED. It helps a LOT as long as you aren't negative about it in interviews.

I made four attempts at my driver's test before passing.

Intelligence can be improved (see a recent post of mine on that matter), and I've seen your picture. You're not that bad. You're at least no worse than me.

I'm twenty years old and I started balding. I'm pretty sure I'll have no hair by the end of the year.

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The top of my head is shaped funny and is very noticable with my preferred hair style (short, that is). Just keep your hair short or shave it all off...I felt kind of strange when I started keeping mine short (I used to have somewhat long hair), but now I -love- it. If my head was more normally shaped, I'd go totally bald. Maintenance free, way to be Heck, take the opportunity to try a hat or something. I've seen bald guys wear fedoras and stuff and they look killer. You just have to play it up right.

You could also try rogaine or one of the other hair restoration products if you haven't already.

I've never had a relationship. I'll die fat, ugly, bald and alone. So why keep up with this honeysuckle anyway.

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You're 20?

At 23 I just got my first actual girlfriend, after a hellacious highschool experience that left me with no self esteem, and 5 years of adulthood actively stumbling and bumbling my way through figuring out how a date works and how to actually be attractive. And fat is a matter of simple mathematics if you can commit to a routine of real exercise and healthy eating habits.

I started an actual workout program (P90X from Beach Body) and I'm starting to look and FEEL like money. I can't freakin' believe it. We were at an intersection today and this girl actually pulled up so she could wave at me. And dude, I am not that attractive in the face. Before you give up on your looks, you need to at least do two things:

1. Adhere to an exercise regimen
2. Create a good look for yourself (for me, it's the clean-cut look) and play it up. This doesn't have to be expensive.

Because of no school, I have no future beyond living with my parents and working in my dad's shop forever.

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Until it becomes -your- shop, anyway. There's a lot worse fates than inheriting a family business and building on a legacy. Consider the actual impact of the service you're providing before you speak of it woefully.

Define 'no school'. I didn't have my GED until 19 and I know some people who didn't get it until their 20s or 30s and have since improved their situation. I'm 23 and still working on my 2 year degree. You don't see me fretting.

Also, don't subscribe to the notion that you will fail and be miserable without attending a 4 year institution. Because it's silly. I know more employed people with 2 year degrees or none at all than I do people with 4 year degrees. Also, just because we don't work out to become doctors or biologists or astronauts does not quantify us as failures. Plenty of good, successful, happy people work as tile setters, pipefitters, accountants or electricians. I know a single mother waitress who owns her own house (it's really nice and she's paid for it all herself), and I know guys who work in lumber mills or at Wal Mart who lead perfectly happy lives. I know a janitor who will retire with an actual pension. Not a 401K, a pension.

My point being, I see a lot of people feel bad because they don't fit the image of the tie-adorned grad school alumni with his laptop in the coffee shop on his lunch break. And it's silly. We need to be happy and proud of what we're good at. I have no reason right now to go to a 4 year college; it would do nothing for me. I don't make a fortune, but I am happier doing what I do now than I would ever be anywhere else. That's true success.

I'm tired of this honeysuckle, I want to end it.

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I don't mean to make light of your feelings or downplay your situation, but it all sounds reversible to me because myself and others I know (some on this forum) have dealt with most of those successfully. Please reconsider and perhaps formulate some different options, because you do have them.

I'm 23 three years old. I'm unemployed. I've offered to work for free everywhere that I can think of.

I'm lazy. I'm ugly. I'm not smart. I smell terrible. I can't cook. I can even iron clothes properly. I can do anything useful. I hide behind computer screens.

I am useless and I have no point really.

Thing is though I think you are not alone. And even though that statement may not help because when you feel to kill yourself the pain you feel is so real that just the fact that you feel it makes you wish for death...

it may help you feel less lonely.

Sometimes I feel to kill myself as well. But at other times I feel there is just a little more fight left inside of me... and maybe that little more fight is all it takes.

Fight life. Fight for that thing that you want. That thing that will make you happy. Even if that thing is simply happiness.

Don't give up, I know it is hard. I know the pain is real, the tears are real, the puffy swollen eyes, the hollowness ..it's all real yes but you have got to fight...

if only to help someone else who also feels it, because I promise you that you are not alone.

You are not alone. And life is not really about being pretty, smart and having a degree.

Life is about contributing to society and being loved and loving others. And I know it feels like you arent doing any of those things now but that's why you have to find out what is important to you and fight for it. Fight FIGHT fight.

My husband was balding at 20 also.. I love the way his hair looks.. balded.. it's beautiful



Fight!

geeky_loser said:

Not that I haven't thought of it before. But, I really haven nothing to live for and no future.

I dropped out of school, I haven't started working yet, I failed my driving test three times. I am not smart, I am ugly.

I'm twenty years old and I started balding. I'm pretty sure I'll have no hair by the end of the year.

I've never had a relationship. I'll die fat, ugly, bald and alone. So why keep up with this honeysuckle anyway.

Because of no school, I have no future beyond living with my parents and working in my dad's shop forever. Just sitting in little room alone, bald and ugly.

I'm tired of this honeysuckle, I want to end it.

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dude, if you know the honeysuckle i've been through with motor vehicles and license tests

fresia looks they only mean something if you will them too, some of the ugliest people on the planet get out there and do their thing every day (have you ever seen a talented, but old and ugly drummer with groupies? I have). they aren't deluded, they are just comfortable with their self image and don't care if people think differently of them because they are fat, balding, whatever.

as to what you are doing with your life all you can do is try to scramble out of the hole as best you can. find something you enjoy doing, and pursue it. you can take up some kind of trade, there is a lot you could do even if it takes time to get qualifications and the like. you need hobbies as a crutch, what seems most important to me is not devaluing what you have now to something worthless and undesirable but making the most of it. There have been prisoners of war who have been forced through labour camps and had to endure much worse dehumanisation than the thought of being overweight and going bald, but they somehow coped and got on with their lives (if they weren't murdered). Relax. Breathe in, you have so much freedom even if you don't realise it.

If you can clear your mind of emotion for 10 seconds, you can do it for 20. If you can prolong this "blank" state of mind, and build upon it by doing things you enjoy doing, I think you'll have developed a good coping mechanism for your depression.

my laptop battery is dying but ((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((Geeky)))))))))))))))))))))))))) that's for you!

please don't see yourself in that way, you will find someone who loves you for who you are, not all the fake stuff. please hold on, and i hope you feel better soon

Thanks.

It's just that I really do not have a future. I dropped out of university, not high school. But the HS I went to is basically my country's version of a prep school. So I can't really do anything with that degree. And my dad's firm is really going through a rough time because of the economy and it might not make it through next year.

So, I got no professional future, and no personal future. Who's gonna want a guy who's twenty and going bald? And you saw my picture, I wouldn't look good with a shaved head.

I should just sell my organs or something. That can get my family plenty of money, at least I'd be useful in a way.

could you work toward something like this? it's not for everyone, and doesn't have to be totally the same, but i like their style. i don't know. just wish i could help.

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Don't sell your organs. You need those.

How many years of college did you attend? Maybe you could go to a trade school instead.

HEY Geekkyy!.. man, i'm afraid on you.. because what the heck is this HEAVY NEGATIVE VIEW. can't be serious!
you put everything bad just to make it in one sentence and, Of Course it will sound miserable!
i'm sure you can do the opposite. you got nice stuff happening to you too, just be aware of it
Also, believe me, it's never too late to finish that college again. I'm almost 23 yr old sophomore. Hey i'm not going to talk about that, but please know there's ALWAYS a second chance espicialy when it comes to schooling... figure it out

light up, you can talk to your parents they love you no matter what. Quit having that FULL negative view on yourself.
I wish you're feeling okay since you posted that. I wish you all well cuz I've been in some what you were into.