Oscillate_Wildly
Well-known member
Hello again wonderful forum, I'm sorry I've neglected you with my poor attempts at jokes. But I'm here to post this now, I'm not sure I'm looking for advice or what but anyway...
I met this girl a while back through a certain social networking site (god I hate that term) anyway recently I've gotten talking to her closely, she suffers from depression and that so I started talking to her about my problems. Anyway, to cut a long story short, she's been giving me advice and thinks I should see a doctor...
I really like this girl so it's nice to talk to her but at the same time I worry that I do her head in telling her all my stuff all the time, she's a lot worse off than me and instead of her talking to me it usually ends up in me talking to her which I don't like as I want to be supportive of her as she is me. On the other hand she's the only person I've met online with problems who will actually listen to me (this forum aside) that doesn't play the game of "I'm worse of then you!" which is what I've always found when I've spoken to people in the past that people only want to know what's wrong with you so they can say "Well you think that's bad listen to my stuffles...."
Anyway she thinks I should go to the doctors about my problems, which is great except that I can't.
I'm scared of doctors, well not scared just find them useless and I worry that I'll go to them and they won't believe me and say I'm not depressed or whatever and then that'll make me feel a whole lot worse. The other thing is that I'm terrified of doing certain things, like ringing places up. She said I should ring up and make an appointment yet only just thinking about this made my chest hurt. I was once offered counselling by a tutor at college and I agreed, then he told me I had to make the appointments myself as he wasn't able to, when I had to do it myself I never made an appointment.
So jeez, I don't know what to do, I really believe this girls advice is right yet I can't act on it and I don't know why, I don't know if it's to do with my anxieties or the fact that I'm worried there might actually be something wrong with me as in the past I've always put too teenage angst, but I'm in my mid twenties now and teenage angst has paid off well, but now I'm bored and old. Also when I used to talk to my ex about stuff like this she just told me "everyone gets down". So to finally find out there is something wrong with me would be a relief in some ways but terrible in others.
So yeah, I just don't know what to do with myself... I'm not sure I need advice as I know the answer, just felt like a rant, but any advice would be appreciated and if you want to know more about me I'd probably be happy to tell. I also apologise for the song references I've shoe horned in, but will love you if you get them. I've also been drinking tonight so apologise again for any incoherence in my post.
I met this girl a while back through a certain social networking site (god I hate that term) anyway recently I've gotten talking to her closely, she suffers from depression and that so I started talking to her about my problems. Anyway, to cut a long story short, she's been giving me advice and thinks I should see a doctor...
I really like this girl so it's nice to talk to her but at the same time I worry that I do her head in telling her all my stuff all the time, she's a lot worse off than me and instead of her talking to me it usually ends up in me talking to her which I don't like as I want to be supportive of her as she is me. On the other hand she's the only person I've met online with problems who will actually listen to me (this forum aside) that doesn't play the game of "I'm worse of then you!" which is what I've always found when I've spoken to people in the past that people only want to know what's wrong with you so they can say "Well you think that's bad listen to my stuffles...."
Anyway she thinks I should go to the doctors about my problems, which is great except that I can't.
I'm scared of doctors, well not scared just find them useless and I worry that I'll go to them and they won't believe me and say I'm not depressed or whatever and then that'll make me feel a whole lot worse. The other thing is that I'm terrified of doing certain things, like ringing places up. She said I should ring up and make an appointment yet only just thinking about this made my chest hurt. I was once offered counselling by a tutor at college and I agreed, then he told me I had to make the appointments myself as he wasn't able to, when I had to do it myself I never made an appointment.
So jeez, I don't know what to do, I really believe this girls advice is right yet I can't act on it and I don't know why, I don't know if it's to do with my anxieties or the fact that I'm worried there might actually be something wrong with me as in the past I've always put too teenage angst, but I'm in my mid twenties now and teenage angst has paid off well, but now I'm bored and old. Also when I used to talk to my ex about stuff like this she just told me "everyone gets down". So to finally find out there is something wrong with me would be a relief in some ways but terrible in others.
So yeah, I just don't know what to do with myself... I'm not sure I need advice as I know the answer, just felt like a rant, but any advice would be appreciated and if you want to know more about me I'd probably be happy to tell. I also apologise for the song references I've shoe horned in, but will love you if you get them. I've also been drinking tonight so apologise again for any incoherence in my post.
