Little more about me

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Castaway

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Nov 10, 2010
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I haven't been real sure what I should post about myself, obviously I am not here because I have great social skills. I just want to know I am not alone in feeling like an outcast, loner, alien etc.

Let me say more about myself and if this is not the right place for me I will move on to somewhere else.

I am in my early 40s, Bi-sexual male and have always had a hard time getting and keeping friends. Used to drink a lot, but stopped a year ago on my own. Don't go to AA because that's a social event and I hate it.

I have always felt like an outcast or some sort of an alien from another planet.

As a child I was sexually and physically abused. In my early 20s I was raped. Sometimes I feel like maybe that's why I am here, to be used and thrown away.

The other night I forced myself to meet someone, without being drunk or wanting sex. I just wanted a friendship. I don't think it went well. To many silences and awkward moments.

Why can't I just be normal? Why am I so strange? Why do I look at things that others look at differently? I just want a friend who cares about me, someone who likes me because I am who I am. I am not sure that will ever happen.
 
I think it is great that you forced yourself to meet someone. Even if it didn't feel like it went well it gave you practice. Us aliens have a lot of learning to do to figure out just how people do thing. Jumping in there sounds like a good way to learn how this world works.
 
hey castaway, what's up

we all get these feelings, also they hit hard from time to time. just don't get down because of them, because they come and go.

you can carry your positive vibe to others and you'll feel it back. so deep i like to think that you'll feel loved if you were loving to others. there're just as many good people as there are bad, and we can look at the full half.

I wish you're feeling awesome by now, try to connect with some friends or people you know.. that must ease it on you a bit ;)

I do wish you all the luck

.. this isn't the best reply to what you wrote. not a real advice or help with words, but i don't want you to direct yourself to worse feelings. I'm sure you understand better than me by your age that sometimes we can't fix what's broken. but we can't let ourselves sink into despair for it. i'm saying we found a way to get up and smile and carry on with love
 

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