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Lifestyle choices and loneliness?
#11
(11-28-2010, 05:43 PM)Callie Wrote: I have never expected people to change things around to accommodate me. As far as restaurants go, virtually every restaurant has salads, so that's good enough for me and if my friends make plans to go to a steakhouse, I bow out gracefully. My feelings aren't hurt. I'll just rejoin them later.
What does piss me off tho, is that I've been this way for 10 years and my own family still doesn't care. Everything they make has meat products in it. If there is a family thing going on, I'll either make a few dishes that I'll eat and everyone else can eat, or I'll simply make my own food and bring it along.
My husband's (technically he is still my husband...blah blah blah) family live in the mountains and hunt. That's how they eat. I don't have an issue with that (I just won't sit in the chair placed under the deer head. lol), but when my brother-in-law tries to shove the turkey he just killed in my face, I do have an issue with that.

and i get that because he is probably shoving it in your face just to be a dick, lol. i dont mind eating animals but i dont want to actually kill any. i just like trying new foods regardless if its a meat or vegetable. i am actually quite an animal person. i guess its one of those "out of sight, out of mind" things.
"Once you assume a creator and a plan, it makes us objects in an experiment." - Christopher Hitchens
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#12
It is an interesting point you bring up though Callie. To play the devils advocate, why should your family care? They're just as much allowed to believe your beliefs are merit-less just as you have full right to believe what you want. They're simply making what they see as normal food, and if what you want to eat coincides with that great, but if it doesn't... Not their problem. This harmless belief that doesn't affect other people now suddenly affects them, because after 10 years you're expecting them to care and accommodate to your choice not to eat what they want.

Now obviously with that statement (disclaimer, the views of said previous paragraph do not necessarily match those of limlim as per devils advocate note at beginning) is taken to the extreme side of things, as making a small dish which you will want to eat is a rather trivial thing to do, and generally it's considered good form not to make food people don't want to eat. i.e. I hate mushrooms so my family will try to keep dinners mushroomless or at least make sure there is something I can eat that doesn't contain them. So understand that I do see your point! I wonder if they would be doing the same thing if you were a vegetarian out of necessity rather than belief? A friend of mine is physically unable to process the proteins found in most meats so he is a vegetarian because he has to be.

I guess in the end what this all means is that bottom line they don't understand how much value you place in not wanting to eat meat. What is their response if it is brought up to them?
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#13
(11-28-2010, 06:08 PM)Limlim Wrote: It is an interesting point you bring up though Callie. To play the devils advocate, why should your family care? They're just as much allowed to believe your beliefs are merit-less just as you have full right to believe what you want. They're simply making what they see as normal food, and if what you want to eat coincides with that great, but if it doesn't... Not their problem. This harmless belief that doesn't affect other people now suddenly affects them, because after 10 years you're expecting them to care and accommodate to your choice not to eat what they want.

Now obviously with that statement (disclaimer, the views of said previous paragraph do not necessarily match those of limlim as per devils advocate note at beginning) is taken to the extreme side of things, as making a small dish which you will want to eat is a rather trivial thing to do, and generally it's considered good form not to make food people don't want to eat. i.e. I hate mushrooms so my family will try to keep dinners mushroomless or at least make sure there is something I can eat that doesn't contain them. So understand that I do see your point! I wonder if they would be doing the same thing if you were a vegetarian out of necessity rather than belief? A friend of mine is physically unable to process the proteins found in most meats so he is a vegetarian because he has to be.

I guess in the end what this all means is that bottom line they don't understand how much value you place in not wanting to eat meat. What is their response if it is brought up to them?

I don't EXPECT them to. I long ago stopped expecting things from people, because I've always been hurt when I have. But there are easy solutions to making certain things so they are vegetarian.
I'm a fantastic cook, ask anyone..lol And my family knows this (kinda hard to not know when my brother, who is extremely uppity and picky, ASKS me to make him food) so it wouldn't be that big of a deal to consult me, or even ask if I'll make something. But they never do, when I offer to, they say someone else is doing it. At that rate tho, they know damn well I won't eat anything, so why invite me at all?
As for people who eat what I make or if I have a dinner party, I take everyone who will be here into account and make sure there is at least one or two things that they will eat. Like my friend who doesn't like mushrooms, if I make my stuffing or stir-fry, I'll simply leave them out, not a big deal.
But back to my family situation, if someone makes something my mom won't eat, it's turns into a BIG FUCKING DEAL.
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#14
I think people should stop being muppets to you. You've given your kids choice and let them at meat. Don't see why people should force what they're into onto you that's just ignorant.
Stab them in the eye with a carrot or something.
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#15
My 4yr old daughter is vegitarian, she just nver wanted to eat any meat since the beginning. As parents we decide to just work around it in order to make sure that she got the right nutrions. My husband is a big meat eater and I strickly only eat white me. I don't drink at all and pubs are not my scene. I'll much rather go to the zoo with my kids. As a women I love console games and doing the girlie thing is not my scene. I think that your lifestyle does effect how you fit in socially.
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#16
(11-29-2010, 03:37 AM)bens Wrote: I think people should stop being muppets to you. You've given your kids choice and let them at meat. Don't see why people should force what they're into onto you that's just ignorant.
Stab them in the eye with a carrot or something.

I threw a cucumber at someone once....he moved at the last minute and it hit the wall. It exploded and of course I had to clean it up. lol
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#17
Your on the right track Callie, accommodating people is awesome, thats more than I usually do. If my friends come over then they know it will be vegetarian and usually they love it, breaking bread with people is important where I live, it brings us together. I have been a vegetarian for 19 years now, yeeehaaaaa!! and I've never looked back. One of the few things in my life that has been consistent. I don't preach to anyone about it, sounds like you don't either, but back to your main question, is being a vegetarian making you more lonelier than not. I suppose only if the people around you don't respect it, and you might seem lonelier because of the reason you are and as usual others do not see that, thus a small alienation within yourself. Family can be hard, all of mine are hunters, but they usually don't make fun because I am the biggest vegetarian they will ever meet.
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#18
I totally agree. I'm a vegan myself have been one for ten years so yes, I get a lot of strange comments, such as 'what do you live on'?, aren't you sick all the time? lol, no i'm not sick and I eat so much better than most people I know. What pisses me off the most though, is that some people who've known me for ages know that I don't eat animal products yet everytime there's a party and food will be served I get served meat and they like, "oh I totally forgot you don't eat that". So, I eat before I go outSmileToungue
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#19
Live N let live.

unconditional love and perfernces..
if it just perfernces..then whats the big fucken deal?

yeah it effected my life when i stopped drinking n partying...
it also effect my life after i relapsed.
I met a very nice gals. I can totally get into her. Its not i fucken died or went crazy...
its not going to kill me if i eat or dont eat a peice of meat.

i create my own happiness or madness...
I dont take myself too serious all the fucken time anymore..or life for that matter....

@ the end of the day...its all fucken spilt milk..

the world is not going to come to an end if get sad or fucken die...it wont stop either even when im happy...

The river just keeps on flowin..
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#20
I've actually cried over spilled milk before....go figure
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