Lifestyle choices and loneliness?

Loneliness, Depression & Relationship Forum

Help Support Loneliness, Depression & Relationship Forum:

This site may earn a commission from merchant affiliate links, including eBay, Amazon, and others.
C

Callie

Guest
Do you ever wonder if how you live your life and the choices you make coincide with being alone?

I'm a vegetarian (I'd be vegan, but I eat dairy). People can't accept that and ridicule me and preach to me about it. I don't have a problem with OTHER people eating meat, I just don't.
I don't drink, haven't since I was 19 and I don't really go for the bar scene with makes me "dull and boring."
I'm a health freak that eats only organic/all natural food, that goes for my kids as well, so I'm a "mean mom" because I don't let my kids eat McDonald's or Little Debbie's.

I could go on...and on and on...but those are the main ones. The fact is that my life is just that, MINE. Why should other people care how I choose to live it when nothing about what I do directly impacts them.

I don't know, maybe I'm off my rocker, but I've been wondering this for long time.
 
^^^Actually, from what you've described, I don't find you boring or crazy at all.

Those people who tell you so are ******* stupid. Don't listen to them.

Just be who you are and surround yourself with people who see you as you are. :)

*hugs* So no worries, alright? Just be who you are and let others judge as they will. Like I said, you sound like a nice person to me.
 
You need to live here in Austin, TX! Organic and vegan are the thing here. I just think that opposites attract so it's difficult to find like minded people at times. But in Austin, Vegans, Music lovers, animal lovers, marijuana lovers, etc, etc. are here. Our slogan is KEEP Austin Weird! You'd fit right in girl. About the kids, I understand the fast food but after age 16 they should be free to make there own decision of what they want to eat because when they leave your house they're gonna do it anyway. Most kids do the opposite of what they were forced to do growing up as a kid. Can you compromise a little with your kids cause being vegetarian is your personal choice. It's not a mandatory lifestyle. People can be healthy and eat meat too. I'm just sayin...
 
i know how you feel about the whole not drinking thing. i RARELY drink and i dont like the bar scene either. im not one for parties really either. i know people see me as boring because of this. for me its also that im a guy that isnt into sports/ufc, cars/bikes, or guns/hunting. that stuff doesnt really interest met at all. on top of that i live in the south and im not religious or political at all. again, this doesnt interest me.

as far a you being vegetarian ill admit that i dont really get it. i mean i get eating healthy but i dont get the no meat thing. but at the same time i dont discriminate people for things like that. you do what you like and what makes you happy. you not eating meat doesnt affect me so why should i care? lol. i dont get why people try to push their beliefs on people when it comes to things like that.
 
Oh I'm definitely crazy...but the good kind of crazy. :)

My kids are 3 and 9. Part of the reason I'm doing the organic diet is because of my 9 year old's health problems. My kids eat meat, I wouldn't force that on them. For the most part they eat everything everyone else does, just the organic version of it. I love to cook and bake, so everything we eat is homemade from scratch.
 
Than that means you are NOT a mean mommy! If it they wouldn't be complaining about McDonalds, they'd be complaining about something else. They think it's their God given right! LOL
 
edgecrusher said:
i know how you feel about the whole not drinking thing. i RARELY drink and i dont like the bar scene either. im not one for parties really either. i know people see me as boring because of this. for me its also that im a guy that isnt into sports/ufc, cars/bikes, or guns/hunting. that stuff doesnt really interest met at all. on top of that i live in the south and im not religious or political at all. again, this doesnt interest me.

as far a you being vegetarian ill admit that i dont really get it. i mean i get eating healthy but i dont get the no meat thing. but at the same time i dont discriminate people for things like that. you do what you like and what makes you happy. you not eating meat doesnt affect me so why should i care? lol. i dont get why people try to push their beliefs on people when it comes to things like that.

I haven't eaten meat for almost 10 years now. Even before that, I never really ate all that much meat. I won't get into the reasons I don't eat meat, it usually causes a huge debate. I don't expect people to understand why I do what I do, hell, I don't understand myself half the time. But what I would like is for people to not try to make me feel like I'm wrong for what I choose to do or not do. I doubt it will happen, but I'd like it to.

As for what you aren't into...I would love to meet a guy that isn't into that honeysuckle. :)
 
I think people underestimate how a simple thing like diet can affect a relationship. We spend a lot of our social time at the dinner table, make an event of going out to eat or hosting parties with food. I imagine having to take into account that "vegan friend" each and every time can get annoying.

In some places it is near next to impossible to find a restaurant that has something on the menu that is vegan. I had a buddy that was a bit of a buzz kill sometimes for our group because we had to immediately toss several places off our list if we wanted him to be able to come out with us. Vegetarianism is easier to handle obviously, so I don't mean to compare this to your case directly, but it can have an effect.

Had a pot luck the other day. Each person making a dish had to make a choice to themselves, are they going to make something people want to eat, or are we all going to take said vegan friend into consideration? Sure he might not mind it if he could only have one or two things at the table, but now you're feeling guilty because you're giving him a sub par experience compared to everyone else, had you not made every dish one he can eat. If you do make it a pure vegan potluck then you've just bowed your own choices and tastes to his in the name of being considerate.

Sometimes "you eat what you wanna eat and I'll eat what I wanna eat" doesn't work out as great in practice as it does on paper. There we're times our group of friends simply didn't invite him along to social events because we were going to a steakhouse that evening. honeysuckle gets awkward even though everyone involved was trying their best to be nice.
 
Callie said:
edgecrusher said:
i know how you feel about the whole not drinking thing. i RARELY drink and i dont like the bar scene either. im not one for parties really either. i know people see me as boring because of this. for me its also that im a guy that isnt into sports/ufc, cars/bikes, or guns/hunting. that stuff doesnt really interest met at all. on top of that i live in the south and im not religious or political at all. again, this doesnt interest me.

as far a you being vegetarian ill admit that i dont really get it. i mean i get eating healthy but i dont get the no meat thing. but at the same time i dont discriminate people for things like that. you do what you like and what makes you happy. you not eating meat doesnt affect me so why should i care? lol. i dont get why people try to push their beliefs on people when it comes to things like that.

I haven't eaten meat for almost 10 years now. Even before that, I never really ate all that much meat. I won't get into the reasons I don't eat meat, it usually causes a huge debate. I don't expect people to understand why I do what I do, hell, I don't understand myself half the time. But what I would like is for people to not try to make me feel like I'm wrong for what I choose to do or not do. I doubt it will happen, but I'd like it to.

As for what you aren't into...I would love to meet a guy that isn't into that honeysuckle. :)

and thats something i dont do. i wont discriminate someone for their beliefs. as long as they dont try to push it on me i dont really care what they believe. dont let anyone make you feel like you are wrong for it, because you are not.
 
I have never expected people to change things around to accommodate me. As far as restaurants go, virtually every restaurant has salads, so that's good enough for me and if my friends make plans to go to a steakhouse, I bow out gracefully. My feelings aren't hurt. I'll just rejoin them later.
What does piss me off tho, is that I've been this way for 10 years and my own family still doesn't care. Everything they make has meat products in it. If there is a family thing going on, I'll either make a few dishes that I'll eat and everyone else can eat, or I'll simply make my own food and bring it along.
My husband's (technically he is still my husband...blah blah blah) family live in the mountains and hunt. That's how they eat. I don't have an issue with that (I just won't sit in the chair placed under the deer head. lol), but when my brother-in-law tries to shove the turkey he just killed in my face, I do have an issue with that.

edgecrusher said:
and thats something i dont do. i wont discriminate someone for their beliefs. as long as they dont try to push it on me i dont really care what they believe. dont let anyone make you feel like you are wrong for it, because you are not.


That's one thing that doesn't work on me, trying to make me feel bad for what I believe. What I do doesn't harm anyone, so I won't feel bad about it regardless what people say to me about it.
 
Callie said:
I have never expected people to change things around to accommodate me. As far as restaurants go, virtually every restaurant has salads, so that's good enough for me and if my friends make plans to go to a steakhouse, I bow out gracefully. My feelings aren't hurt. I'll just rejoin them later.
What does piss me off tho, is that I've been this way for 10 years and my own family still doesn't care. Everything they make has meat products in it. If there is a family thing going on, I'll either make a few dishes that I'll eat and everyone else can eat, or I'll simply make my own food and bring it along.
My husband's (technically he is still my husband...blah blah blah) family live in the mountains and hunt. That's how they eat. I don't have an issue with that (I just won't sit in the chair placed under the deer head. lol), but when my brother-in-law tries to shove the turkey he just killed in my face, I do have an issue with that.

and i get that because he is probably shoving it in your face just to be a dick, lol. i dont mind eating animals but i dont want to actually kill any. i just like trying new foods regardless if its a meat or vegetable. i am actually quite an animal person. i guess its one of those "out of sight, out of mind" things.
 
It is an interesting point you bring up though Callie. To play the devils advocate, why should your family care? They're just as much allowed to believe your beliefs are merit-less just as you have full right to believe what you want. They're simply making what they see as normal food, and if what you want to eat coincides with that great, but if it doesn't... Not their problem. This harmless belief that doesn't affect other people now suddenly affects them, because after 10 years you're expecting them to care and accommodate to your choice not to eat what they want.

Now obviously with that statement (disclaimer, the views of said previous paragraph do not necessarily match those of limlim as per devils advocate note at beginning) is taken to the extreme side of things, as making a small dish which you will want to eat is a rather trivial thing to do, and generally it's considered good form not to make food people don't want to eat. i.e. I hate mushrooms so my family will try to keep dinners mushroomless or at least make sure there is something I can eat that doesn't contain them. So understand that I do see your point! I wonder if they would be doing the same thing if you were a vegetarian out of necessity rather than belief? A friend of mine is physically unable to process the proteins found in most meats so he is a vegetarian because he has to be.

I guess in the end what this all means is that bottom line they don't understand how much value you place in not wanting to eat meat. What is their response if it is brought up to them?
 
Limlim said:
It is an interesting point you bring up though Callie. To play the devils advocate, why should your family care? They're just as much allowed to believe your beliefs are merit-less just as you have full right to believe what you want. They're simply making what they see as normal food, and if what you want to eat coincides with that great, but if it doesn't... Not their problem. This harmless belief that doesn't affect other people now suddenly affects them, because after 10 years you're expecting them to care and accommodate to your choice not to eat what they want.

Now obviously with that statement (disclaimer, the views of said previous paragraph do not necessarily match those of limlim as per devils advocate note at beginning) is taken to the extreme side of things, as making a small dish which you will want to eat is a rather trivial thing to do, and generally it's considered good form not to make food people don't want to eat. i.e. I hate mushrooms so my family will try to keep dinners mushroomless or at least make sure there is something I can eat that doesn't contain them. So understand that I do see your point! I wonder if they would be doing the same thing if you were a vegetarian out of necessity rather than belief? A friend of mine is physically unable to process the proteins found in most meats so he is a vegetarian because he has to be.

I guess in the end what this all means is that bottom line they don't understand how much value you place in not wanting to eat meat. What is their response if it is brought up to them?

I don't EXPECT them to. I long ago stopped expecting things from people, because I've always been hurt when I have. But there are easy solutions to making certain things so they are vegetarian.
I'm a fantastic cook, ask anyone..lol And my family knows this (kinda hard to not know when my brother, who is extremely uppity and picky, ASKS me to make him food) so it wouldn't be that big of a deal to consult me, or even ask if I'll make something. But they never do, when I offer to, they say someone else is doing it. At that rate tho, they know **** well I won't eat anything, so why invite me at all?
As for people who eat what I make or if I have a dinner party, I take everyone who will be here into account and make sure there is at least one or two things that they will eat. Like my friend who doesn't like mushrooms, if I make my stuffing or stir-fry, I'll simply leave them out, not a big deal.
But back to my family situation, if someone makes something my mom won't eat, it's turns into a BIG ******* DEAL.
 
I think people should stop being muppets to you. You've given your kids choice and let them at meat. Don't see why people should force what they're into onto you that's just ignorant.
Stab them in the eye with a carrot or something.
 
My 4yr old daughter is vegitarian, she just nver wanted to eat any meat since the beginning. As parents we decide to just work around it in order to make sure that she got the right nutrions. My husband is a big meat eater and I strickly only eat white me. I don't drink at all and pubs are not my scene. I'll much rather go to the zoo with my kids. As a women I love console games and doing the girlie thing is not my scene. I think that your lifestyle does effect how you fit in socially.
 
bens said:
I think people should stop being muppets to you. You've given your kids choice and let them at meat. Don't see why people should force what they're into onto you that's just ignorant.
Stab them in the eye with a carrot or something.

I threw a cucumber at someone once....he moved at the last minute and it hit the wall. It exploded and of course I had to clean it up. lol
 
Your on the right track Callie, accommodating people is awesome, thats more than I usually do. If my friends come over then they know it will be vegetarian and usually they love it, breaking bread with people is important where I live, it brings us together. I have been a vegetarian for 19 years now, yeeehaaaaa!! and I've never looked back. One of the few things in my life that has been consistent. I don't preach to anyone about it, sounds like you don't either, but back to your main question, is being a vegetarian making you more lonelier than not. I suppose only if the people around you don't respect it, and you might seem lonelier because of the reason you are and as usual others do not see that, thus a small alienation within yourself. Family can be hard, all of mine are hunters, but they usually don't make fun because I am the biggest vegetarian they will ever meet.
 
I totally agree. I'm a vegan myself have been one for ten years so yes, I get a lot of strange comments, such as 'what do you live on'?, aren't you sick all the time? lol, no i'm not sick and I eat so much better than most people I know. What pisses me off the most though, is that some people who've known me for ages know that I don't eat animal products yet everytime there's a party and food will be served I get served meat and they like, "oh I totally forgot you don't eat that". So, I eat before I go out:):p
 
Live N let live.

unconditional love and perfernces..
if it just perfernces..then whats the big fucken deal?

yeah it effected my life when i stopped drinking n partying...
it also effect my life after i relapsed.
I met a very nice gals. I can totally get into her. Its not i fucken died or went crazy...
its not going to kill me if i eat or dont eat a peice of meat.

i create my own happiness or madness...
I dont take myself too serious all the fucken time anymore..or life for that matter....

@ the end of the day...its all fucken spilt milk..

the world is not going to come to an end if get sad or fucken die...it wont stop either even when im happy...

The river just keeps on flowin..
 

Latest posts

Back
Top