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diamond-dancer

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First of all I would like to apologise because this rant might not belong here. Actually... it might not belong ANYWHERE.

I feel compelled to publically expose myself for the fraud I truly am. (I also need an excuse not to open my textbooks and start studying).

I have often expressed my irritation about how the only time strangers speak to me is when they want my money and/or soul (those spreading the word of their god of choice).

I have always thought what a lovely world it would be if strangers talked to one another for the sheer enjoyment of conversation and without concealed motives.

These kinds of thoughts generally occur when I’m on the bus to uni and I’ve drained what interest I can out of the repetitive scenery beyond the window.

How strange riding on the bus can be! During peak times we’re all crammed in together like sardines... everyone is rubbing up against one another. We’re sharing air, warmth, sometimes even sweat. If you’re unlucky, you may be exposed to someone else’s undesirable bodily odours. People are tired. Their heads bump into your shoulder as they momentarily nod off. Is there nothing more intimate that sleeping next to someone? It IS when they’re at their most vulnerable, is it not?

AND YET... everyone pretends that there is no one else there! We stare out the window, or at our hands in our laps... Some people are so distressed at being confined with so many strangers that they simply close their eyes and pretend it isn’t happening. We read and re-read advertising we have absolutely no interest in and try to look absorbed.

Sometimes when someone sits next to you they’ll be rubbing up against the side of you for the rest of the trip and yet you won’t ever even make eye contact.

I have often imagined having compelling discussions about the world with the person sitting next to me. They would be non-committal, and at the end of our journey we would part ways and never see one another again.

Little old ladies do it with ease. Granted, their topics don’t venture far from the weather and “kids these days”, but it’s better than nothing.

What I was trying to say before I got carried away in a descriptive rant, was that this finally happened to me. I was staring out the window when the person next to me engaged me in conversation. We talked about the courses we are doing (he was a student also), and his recent move here.

Then it all went horribly wrong. He asked for my number and it freaked me out. It was then that I realised that my dream would never become a reality. There is no such thing as something for nothing in this world.

I am disembodying this particular fantasy of mine. It serves me right for romanticising every day situations. If I ever complain about strangers not taking an interest in me on public transport again, I expect you to stop me in my tracks.
 
haha well nice view, well i wished someone would have asked me for my numbers. Most of the time, no one wants to sit with me...haha its because of my huge crumpler bag that i lug to campus each time...but ya, its so cool, that the person sitting besides you talks to you. No one will ever do that...not even my friends do that, they will just pass me off and say that i am boring to talk too, or both of us will just keep quiet through the entire journey.
 
Hi diamond-dancer,

diamond-dancer said:
I have always thought what a lovely world it would be if strangers talked to one another for the sheer enjoyment of conversation and without concealed motives.

I could hardly conceive a conversation or any other action without a motive (concealed or unconcealed). In other words, hardly human beings do anything without a motive.

diamond-dancer said:
I have often imagined having compelling discussions about the world with the person sitting next to me. They would be non-committal, and at the end of our journey we would part ways and never see one another again.

That kind of conversations make me feel even more lonely. It happened to me several times to talk to perfect strangers (on the bus, on the train, at the station, at the university) which disappeared forever after that moment. I would have been glad to see some of them again. When they disappear I feel like nothing has really happened in that moment. Once I've met a girl on the train and we talked for nearly 4 hours. She even gave me her number but I've never called her because I had another girl in my mind at that time. How stupid I was... :D
 
Diamond, I totally enjoyed your rant. People are SO weird, I agree! We TRY To pretend that we don't need each other, but we do.

No man is an island--read John Donne's essay on that!

You are cool and smart and I like you!

Hugs,

LG.
 
Hey Diamond,

I LOVE engaging in meaningful conversations with complete strangers. I WILL approach random people in a book store or library and strike up a conversation.

I prefer to rant about politics, Evil bastards in charge like Emperor Bush, Darth Cheney, Hitler-y Clinton, Obama Bin Laden, etc...or even religion, but I don't REALLY need to convert people, just hope I make them think outside the box and question the system, and not LABEL themselves and box themselves into corners...I am black, I am a Democrat, I am an old white lady Republican, etc. BULLSHIT! We are all just people!
 
Oh yes I went up to a few people in High School and said:

Is it better to suffer the slings and arrows of OUTRAGEOUS fortune or to take up arms against a sea of troubles?

I got mainly thoughtful replies.

;-)
 
SadRabbit - Do you mean to say they tell you not to speak to them? I don't mind sitting next to a friend in silence if we've run out of things to talk about. I think it's a sign of a good friend when you can sit together and not feel uncomfortable with a lapse in conversation. I trust I'd be correct in assuming that you wouldn't want just anyone to ask you for your number....you'd want to feel comfortable with it first. I left out a few details in my rant...my main issue was that I am avoiding any kind of romance at the moment and that by the end of my conversation with this stranger I had begun to feel on edge.

Keeper - How is it that you're attracting all these people wherever you go?? Are you a spunk chicken or what?! It sounds as though you've been experiencing the kind of interaction I'm interested in. Despite the fact that you never see these people again, does it not brighten your day in the slightest that you were able to share a moment with them?

Lonelygirl - I remember the, "No man is an island" quote from that About A Boy movie. I remember enjoying it. I live in the city and think it's just incredible that you can feel so alone when you're amongst millions and millions of people. The way society has been constructed feels so unnatural to me. Well, it IS unnatural I suppose...a human construct to keep us in check. No wonder so many people are depressed when we're existing in an artificial environment. You sound as though you are a thinker, and I enjoy that. Do you have a personal opinion regarding the question you spread around in highschool?
 
I thought most people harbor an aversion to strangers who solicit random conversation. I can never gauge a person's willingness to speak to me, so I'm never the first to make a move (which is why I am quite friendless). Tell me, is there anything you do, any physical signal/facial expressions that hint at your willingness to talk? Maybe you can help me find lonely classmates with which to talk.
 
RogueTomato said:
I thought most people harbor an aversion to strangers who solicit random conversation. I can never gauge a person's willingness to speak to me, so I'm never the first to make a move (which is why I am quite friendless). Tell me, is there anything you do, any physical signal/facial expressions that hint at your willingness to talk? Maybe you can help me find lonely classmates with which to talk.

I would like to propose that most people harbour an aversion to SCARY strangers who solicit random conversation. =P More seriously though....not everyone is interested in chatting to others, but there are definately some out there that are. Exhibit A ^

I'm always getting told I look sulky, so I generally don't attract many randoms. My mum and sister on the other hand are beacons to the lonely person. They have 'sweet' looking faces which we think is the cause of it. I'm not sure how one makes themself look sweet...maybe try opening your expression up a bit. See Lost in the Oilfield's reply to my "does anyone else get told to smile by strangers' post.

When I'm too nervous to speak to someone I pretend to be someone else. I'm not the most confident person, but I make out as though I am.
 
RogueTomato said:
I thought most people harbor an aversion to strangers who solicit random conversation. I can never gauge a person's willingness to speak to me, so I'm never the first to make a move (which is why I am quite friendless). Tell me, is there anything you do, any physical signal/facial expressions that hint at your willingness to talk? Maybe you can help me find lonely classmates with which to talk.



The thing is, I don't give a honeysuckle about what 'most people' think about striking up conversations with strangers. My view is that most strangers are just friends you haven't met yet. If they think strangers are scary and weird for being friendly, then they aren't the type of person I wanna be friends with anyway.
 
diamond-dancer said:
Keeper - How is it that you're attracting all these people wherever you go?? Are you a spunk chicken or what?! It sounds as though you've been experiencing the kind of interaction I'm interested in. Despite the fact that you never see these people again, does it not brighten your day in the slightest that you were able to share a moment with them?

First of all, I have no idea of what a spunk chicken can be. Anyway, I don't attract these people: I'm stuck with them on a train or on a bus. If they're already talking, I find something to say, it's not so hard. I haven't got to put much effort in it.
Sharing a moment with them leaves me emptier than before, knowing that I won't see them again. Are you interested in this kind of interaction? So, welcome to the interaction of the emptiness, the new frontier of the XXI century communication.
 
keeper said:
That kind of conversations make me feel even more lonely. It happened to me several times to talk to perfect strangers (on the bus, on the train, at the station, at the university) which disappeared forever after that moment. I would have been glad to see some of them again. When they disappear I feel like nothing has really happened in that moment. Once I've met a girl on the train and we talked for nearly 4 hours. She even gave me her number but I've never called her because I had another girl in my mind at that time. How stupid I was... :D

Diamond-dancer,

Would you please tell me where the hell did you read that I attract people wherever I go?? I was referring to <<perfect strangers (on the bus, on the train, at the station, at the university)>>: people which, obviously are sitting down next to me!

Seems like you've read what you did want to read.

diamond-dancer said:
Keeper - How is it that you're attracting all these people wherever you go?? Are you a spunk chicken or what?! It sounds as though you've been experiencing the kind of interaction I'm interested in. Despite the fact that you never see these people again, does it not brighten your day in the slightest that you were able to share a moment with them?
 
For anyone who might be wondering, 'spunk chicken' is Australian for good-looking.
 
That may seem to you to be the case, but I know in my situation, there has been many a time when a complete stranger burst forth in conversation for the sake of it-not soliciting for any purpose.

I remember one time when I was in a shopping mall eating a chinese meal and the elderly lady sitting next to me started talking. She talked about her marriage and that her husband a couple of years ago passed away. I still remember like it was yesterday when she said that he was a great husband except he was very religous. Ha ha ha.

I've had many times people start conversations with me, and they've never wanted anything for it. So it does happen. However, when you are down, you tend to look for and focus on those people who solicit, and remember them only and forget the other ones. I know, because it's a habit of mine.

I was at a concert recently, (Black Sabbath) and this lady next to me started talking to me, and she told me she saw Ozzy Osbourne the last time he was out, and she saw Whitesnake and Deep Purple and all these other bands. And then she pointed to the audience, and said that that guy over there was one of her sons, and she has another son in the audience.

And then her countenance changed and she muttered, "who's that girl talking with my son?" She abruptly said "sorry, I've gotta go" and went to rescue her son from some evil temptress. Lol.

At times I've gone up and started conversations with strangers. Many many years ago, I was in a shopping centre, and only a few weeks before had bought myself a lovely new ( and expensive ) Longines watch. So I notice this woman is wearing a Longines watch too, and I talk to her and say how I just bought my one, and showed it to her. And she was nice and chatty with me.

Another time I was in a used cd/book store and I got to talking with this girl, (gosh how embaressing-it always seems to be women) and she and I talked about music, our jobs and life in general. She told me that she had some pychological issues which prevented her working full time. Anyway, when we finished, she invited me to have a cup of tea/coffee back at her place WITH HER BOYFRIEND. PLEASE NOTE THAT. I was just blown away. And I did, (very nervously-this was so unlike me). Her boyfriend was a real steet character, but very cordial to me, and she just adored him. She gave me her number and said to call and visit anytime I was in the area. So how's that doing something for nothing. I do greatly regreat that I didn't keep contact as I was so nervous about calling again. If I had my time again, I would have called and become good friends with them. That is one big sadness in my life, that I feel honeysuckle about. After all, how many times do you meet people like that?

So take heart. Honest conversations with complete strangers do happen.
 
There must be something seriously wrong with me if I can't attract these people.
 
way said:
After all, how many times do you meet people like that?

So take heart. Honest conversations with complete strangers do happen.

Not often! You'll know what to do next time should it happen again.
 
RogueTomato said:
There must be something seriously wrong with me if I can't attract these people.

I don't attract many friendly people either, and there's nothing 'seriously wrong' with me.
 

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