One thing that really/royally pisses me off...

As lonely as I am, it seems like the only people that think I'm worthy tdo date and love or always have good stuff to say about me are either:

1) Married

2) Dating

3) In a relationship

OR


4) Otherwise would not be interested in me.


That pisses me off so bad that I want to cuss these people out or at least find some way to shut them up once and for all about that! When they say that, it basically means less than nothing to me (it has less than zero positive effect on me), because I'm pretty sure that they say the same things to their partners.

Sometime, yes, I do feel like fying because of this, but then again, I guess that life/God/whatever it is out there has a really messed up/warped/twisted (excuse my french) sense of humour... Why should good people (like me) have to suffer like this when the bad guys get all the good stuff (i.e. "the bad guys get all the play, while the good guys get played")

And please, please, PLEASE do NOT tell me that you all "care" about me! I ask you all of this for a couple of reasons:

1) None of you know me
2) (females only) I bet none of you could be paid enough to give me a chance, meaning that I wouldn't have a chance with even the worst off of you on here...

I am not trying to be rude; I am just tired of hearing hollow platitudes and empty words that ultimately mean less than nothing to me...

Your not in a good place emotionally right now. Your frustrated, angry and hurting. Sometimes things seem really black and white when your in that space. I'm not going to try and talk you out of your feelings. I do (honestly) hope your life gets better and you find some happiness.
I don't have to know you personally to see your humanity or relate to your loneliness or that space you are finding yourself in. Loneliness is like a slow, painful grinding away of that fragile part of us that wants to love and be loved. It is a type of torment.
"Being unwanted, unloved, uncared for, forgotten by everybody, I think that is a much greater hunger, a much greater poverty than the person who has nothing to eat." -Mother Teresa

The_Iblis_Trigger said:

I am not trying to be rude; I am just tired of hearing hollow platitudes and empty words that ultimately mean less than nothing to me...

Click to expand...

This is a YOU problem.

Change your attitude and outlook and maybe women WILL give you the time of day.

I gotta agree with BJD. You seem frustrated as hell and you are most likely projecting that on "available" girls.
That said tho, I know how you feel. Yes, I'm married, but I'm separated from my husband and it seems that guys only want one thing from me. I'm not looking for serious relationships, but I'm also not gonna turn down someone if they are sincere and caring and stick around while I work through my honeysuckle.

You just have to stop being so hard on both yourself and the women of the world. Maybe you need somewhere new to hang out. A change of scenery.

Callie said:

I gotta agree with BJD. You seem frustrated as hell and you are most likely projecting that on "available" girls.
That said tho, I know how you feel. Yes, I'm married, but I'm separated from my husband and it seems that guys only want one thing from me. I'm not looking for serious relationships, but I'm also not gonna turn down someone if they are sincere and caring and stick around while I work through my honeysuckle.

You just have to stop being so hard on both yourself and the women of the world. Maybe you need somewhere new to hang out. A change of scenery.

Click to expand...

And remind me again why I should not be hard on the women of the world? When I have tried to be a nice guy, I get walked all over, and when I am not so nice... well... I'm seen as either "crazy" or "psycho". Well, I have decided that I would rather be seen as crazy and insane (the very same girls who say this about me, they don't dare mess with me) than weak and a pushover. Let me ask you this:

If you were in a fantasy land and you saw a rabbit and a vicious fire-breathing dragon, who would you first mess with? No person in their right mind would mess with a vicious fire-breathing beast that is at least easily 5 times bigger than them!

With that said, I would rather be seen as a crazy vicious dragon than a weak bunny rabbit.

"why do bad guys get all the good stuff" heres my theory on that. jerks and scum get their dues cause evil is incontrol of the world. it why bad people get away with everything and good people get away with nothing. the good news is the world is changing and and it might end up going the other way around. ware evil is foiled and greatness triumphs. its just my thoughts and ideas I have an active imagination.

and im pretty sure his attitude is honeysuckle because hes been delt honeysuckle. un loved and un acknowledged drives one into darkness slowly. Its why u have to train ur self to be happy and positive even if u dont have a reason too.

SOLBREAKS said:

"why do bad guys get all the good stuff" heres my theory on that. jerks and scum get their dues cause evil is incontrol of the world. it why bad people get away with everything and good people get away with nothing. the good news is the world is changing and and it might end up going the other way around. ware evil is foiled and greatness triumphs. its just my thoughts and ideas I have an active imagination.

and im pretty sure his attitude is honeysuckle because hes been delt honeysuckle. un loved and un acknowledged drives one into darkness slowly. Its why u have to train ur self to be happy and positive even if u dont have a reason too.

Click to expand...

Can you explain yourself, please?

I'm gonna shoot straight with you, fire breathing dragon. You aren't entitled to anyone saying anything nice to you, available or otherwise.. so your taking the compliments and 'platitudes' of the married/otherwise unavailable for granted might give you a clue as to why people aren't getting in line to be with you.

Secondly, we've all been through honeysuckle. Its a part of life. But its the people who refuse to resign to being a victim that actually have a chance to live contented and happily. I work with kids with behavioral issues that come from abuse and neglect of every sort.. the ones who are able to overcome the trauma are the same who refuse to let their trauma dictate their behavior and how they treat themselves and others.

All that being said.. your attitude is what's stopping you up. Its not your past, its not my in-your-face post, and its not all your friends who are way too nice to you. Its your attitude, and only you can choose to change it.

The_Iblis_Trigger said:

Callie said:

I gotta agree with BJD. You seem frustrated as hell and you are most likely projecting that on "available" girls.
That said tho, I know how you feel. Yes, I'm married, but I'm separated from my husband and it seems that guys only want one thing from me. I'm not looking for serious relationships, but I'm also not gonna turn down someone if they are sincere and caring and stick around while I work through my honeysuckle.

You just have to stop being so hard on both yourself and the women of the world. Maybe you need somewhere new to hang out. A change of scenery.

Click to expand...

And remind me again why I should not be hard on the women of the world? When I have tried to be a nice guy, I get walked all over, and when I am not so nice... well... I'm seen as either "crazy" or "psycho". Well, I have decided that I would rather be seen as crazy and insane (the very same girls who say this about me, they don't dare mess with me) than weak and a pushover. Let me ask you this:

If you were in a fantasy land and you saw a rabbit and a vicious fire-breathing dragon, who would you first mess with? No person in their right mind would mess with a vicious fire-breathing beast that is at least easily 5 times bigger than them!

With that said, I would rather be seen as a crazy vicious dragon than a weak bunny rabbit.

Click to expand...

Women are not put on this earth to cater your every need and act and say exactly what you want them to. Have you ever thought about NOT being a weak bunny rabbit and NOT being a crazy vicious dragon? You don't have to be either one of those. Merge the two and meet in the middle.
I'd really like to know why men think being nice to women makes them weak. It does NOT. Be YOURSELF, not what you think other people expect from you, not what you think women want you to be. I made that mistake so many times and you know what? It backfired on me every **** time. Many I'm the only female that feels this way (i doubt it tho) but I don't want a man who's not real, who acts like someone they are not just to impress me or get me. But on the other hand, I don't want some "crazy vicious dragon" either.
Look at YOURSELF for what's wrong, not everyone else. You can't change anyone but yourself.

Callie said:

The_Iblis_Trigger said:

Callie said:

I gotta agree with BJD. You seem frustrated as hell and you are most likely projecting that on "available" girls.
That said tho, I know how you feel. Yes, I'm married, but I'm separated from my husband and it seems that guys only want one thing from me. I'm not looking for serious relationships, but I'm also not gonna turn down someone if they are sincere and caring and stick around while I work through my honeysuckle.

You just have to stop being so hard on both yourself and the women of the world. Maybe you need somewhere new to hang out. A change of scenery.

Click to expand...

And remind me again why I should not be hard on the women of the world? When I have tried to be a nice guy, I get walked all over, and when I am not so nice... well... I'm seen as either "crazy" or "psycho". Well, I have decided that I would rather be seen as crazy and insane (the very same girls who say this about me, they don't dare mess with me) than weak and a pushover. Let me ask you this:

If you were in a fantasy land and you saw a rabbit and a vicious fire-breathing dragon, who would you first mess with? No person in their right mind would mess with a vicious fire-breathing beast that is at least easily 5 times bigger than them!

With that said, I would rather be seen as a crazy vicious dragon than a weak bunny rabbit.

Click to expand...

Women are not put on this earth to cater your every need and act and say exactly what you want them to. Have you ever thought about NOT being a weak bunny rabbit and NOT being a crazy vicious dragon? You don't have to be either one of those. Merge the two and meet in the middle.
I'd really like to know why men think being nice to women makes them weak. It does NOT. Be YOURSELF, not what you think other people expect from you, not what you think women want you to be. I made that mistake so many times and you know what? It backfired on me every **** time. Many I'm the only female that feels this way (i doubt it tho) but I don't want a man who's not real, who acts like someone they are not just to impress me or get me. But on the other hand, I don't want some "crazy vicious dragon" either.
Look at YOURSELF for what's wrong, not everyone else. You can't change anyone but yourself.

Click to expand...

Look at it from THIS perspective: I would rather be either hot or cold, but not in the middle. The reason being is this: Most (if not all) of the time, those in the middle are the most likely to draw fire FROM BOTH SIDES. Why do you think that police officers are so hesitant to get involved in domestic disputes? Because they know that since they're in the middle, they're highly likely to draw ire and fire FROM BOTH SIDES. Im my opinion, it is better to be on one side and be opposed by the other side than being in the middle drawing fire FROM BOTH SIDES.

Also, the only reason I said what I said is because I try to be nice and it gets me nowhere, even though I somehow manage to prevent it from degenerating into me being walked over...

Please forgive me if I sound like a total tool; that was not my intention.

there's nothing wrong with you

halfemptyheart26 said:

I'm gonna shoot straight with you, fire breathing dragon. You aren't entitled to anyone saying anything nice to you, available or otherwise.. so your taking the compliments and 'platitudes' of the married/otherwise unavailable for granted might give you a clue as to why people aren't getting in line to be with you.

Secondly, we've all been through honeysuckle. Its a part of life. But its the people who refuse to resign to being a victim that actually have a chance to live contented and happily. I work with kids with behavioral issues that come from abuse and neglect of every sort.. the ones who are able to overcome the trauma are the same who refuse to let their trauma dictate their behavior and how they treat themselves and others.

All that being said.. your attitude is what's stopping you up. Its not your past, its not my in-your-face post, and its not all your friends who are way too nice to you. Its your attitude, and only you can choose to change it.

Click to expand...

All I was trying to say was that it would be nice to get compliments (FOR ONCE!!!!!!) from someone that is NOT married that IS available, and WOULD be interested in me. That's all I was saying. So, there was no need for you to jump down my throat like that. With that said, I forgive you.

The_Iblis_Trigger said:

Callie said:

The_Iblis_Trigger said:

Callie said:

I gotta agree with BJD. You seem frustrated as hell and you are most likely projecting that on "available" girls.
That said tho, I know how you feel. Yes, I'm married, but I'm separated from my husband and it seems that guys only want one thing from me. I'm not looking for serious relationships, but I'm also not gonna turn down someone if they are sincere and caring and stick around while I work through my honeysuckle.

You just have to stop being so hard on both yourself and the women of the world. Maybe you need somewhere new to hang out. A change of scenery.

Click to expand...

And remind me again why I should not be hard on the women of the world? When I have tried to be a nice guy, I get walked all over, and when I am not so nice... well... I'm seen as either "crazy" or "psycho". Well, I have decided that I would rather be seen as crazy and insane (the very same girls who say this about me, they don't dare mess with me) than weak and a pushover. Let me ask you this:

If you were in a fantasy land and you saw a rabbit and a vicious fire-breathing dragon, who would you first mess with? No person in their right mind would mess with a vicious fire-breathing beast that is at least easily 5 times bigger than them!

With that said, I would rather be seen as a crazy vicious dragon than a weak bunny rabbit.

Click to expand...

Women are not put on this earth to cater your every need and act and say exactly what you want them to. Have you ever thought about NOT being a weak bunny rabbit and NOT being a crazy vicious dragon? You don't have to be either one of those. Merge the two and meet in the middle.
I'd really like to know why men think being nice to women makes them weak. It does NOT. Be YOURSELF, not what you think other people expect from you, not what you think women want you to be. I made that mistake so many times and you know what? It backfired on me every **** time. Many I'm the only female that feels this way (i doubt it tho) but I don't want a man who's not real, who acts like someone they are not just to impress me or get me. But on the other hand, I don't want some "crazy vicious dragon" either.
Look at YOURSELF for what's wrong, not everyone else. You can't change anyone but yourself.

Click to expand...

Look at it from THIS perspective: I would rather be either hot or cold, but not in the middle. The reason being is this: Most (if not all) of the time, those in the middle are the most likely to draw fire FROM BOTH SIDES. Why do you think that police officers are so hesitant to get involved in domestic disputes? Because they know that since they're in the middle, they're highly likely to draw ire and fire FROM BOTH SIDES. Im my opinion, it is better to be on one side and be opposed by the other side than being in the middle drawing fire FROM BOTH SIDES.

Also, the only reason I said what I said is because I try to be nice and it gets me nowhere, even though I somehow manage to prevent it from degenerating into me being walked over...

Please forgive me if I sound like a total tool; that was not my intention.

Click to expand...

You do kinda sound like a tool.
All I can tell you is that you get what you give. You can't expect to be an ass (crazy vicious dragon) and get something good in return. And you can't be a pushover and expect people to respect you. You gotta met in the middle somewhere or you won't get anywhere. That's all I'm saying

PM me. It sounds like you need to kick your looks, your strength, and your social capital up a few notches.

Callie said:

The_Iblis_Trigger said:

Callie said:

The_Iblis_Trigger said:

Callie said:

I gotta agree with BJD. You seem frustrated as hell and you are most likely projecting that on "available" girls.
That said tho, I know how you feel. Yes, I'm married, but I'm separated from my husband and it seems that guys only want one thing from me. I'm not looking for serious relationships, but I'm also not gonna turn down someone if they are sincere and caring and stick around while I work through my honeysuckle.

You just have to stop being so hard on both yourself and the women of the world. Maybe you need somewhere new to hang out. A change of scenery.

Click to expand...

And remind me again why I should not be hard on the women of the world? When I have tried to be a nice guy, I get walked all over, and when I am not so nice... well... I'm seen as either "crazy" or "psycho". Well, I have decided that I would rather be seen as crazy and insane (the very same girls who say this about me, they don't dare mess with me) than weak and a pushover. Let me ask you this:

If you were in a fantasy land and you saw a rabbit and a vicious fire-breathing dragon, who would you first mess with? No person in their right mind would mess with a vicious fire-breathing beast that is at least easily 5 times bigger than them!

With that said, I would rather be seen as a crazy vicious dragon than a weak bunny rabbit.

Click to expand...

Women are not put on this earth to cater your every need and act and say exactly what you want them to. Have you ever thought about NOT being a weak bunny rabbit and NOT being a crazy vicious dragon? You don't have to be either one of those. Merge the two and meet in the middle.
I'd really like to know why men think being nice to women makes them weak. It does NOT. Be YOURSELF, not what you think other people expect from you, not what you think women want you to be. I made that mistake so many times and you know what? It backfired on me every **** time. Many I'm the only female that feels this way (i doubt it tho) but I don't want a man who's not real, who acts like someone they are not just to impress me or get me. But on the other hand, I don't want some "crazy vicious dragon" either.
Look at YOURSELF for what's wrong, not everyone else. You can't change anyone but yourself.

Click to expand...

Look at it from THIS perspective: I would rather be either hot or cold, but not in the middle. The reason being is this: Most (if not all) of the time, those in the middle are the most likely to draw fire FROM BOTH SIDES. Why do you think that police officers are so hesitant to get involved in domestic disputes? Because they know that since they're in the middle, they're highly likely to draw ire and fire FROM BOTH SIDES. Im my opinion, it is better to be on one side and be opposed by the other side than being in the middle drawing fire FROM BOTH SIDES.

Also, the only reason I said what I said is because I try to be nice and it gets me nowhere, even though I somehow manage to prevent it from degenerating into me being walked over...

Please forgive me if I sound like a total tool; that was not my intention.

Click to expand...

You do kinda sound like a tool.
All I can tell you is that you get what you give. You can't expect to be an ass (crazy vicious dragon) and get something good in return. And you can't be a pushover and expect people to respect you. You gotta met in the middle somewhere or you won't get anywhere. That's all I'm saying

Click to expand...

I forgot to mention that, even the Bible says something about being in the middle (assuming you believe in it):

Be either hot or cold; if you are lukewarm (meaning IN THE MIDDLE), I will spit you out of my mouth.

It's like I said, I would rather be the decent (but unloved) 500-pound gorilla than the pitied and hapless 90-pound weakling (a quote from one of my favorite books, "The Moscow Vector"

Walk softly and carry a big stick. You get out of life what you put into it. Actually all that you said didn't make a lick of sense, kinda reminded me of psycho babble. If that fits in your pipe than smoke it....Sorry

Sounds like you've calmed a lot since your first post. Who cares where the compliments come from, if you keep acting like that soon even they won't compliment you. One of those involved women just might have a friend that she might talk to about you, and repeat those compliments they've given you. But if you act like a jerk about it because you are sick of it then they will stop and those nice things will turn into negative things. Keep being the nice guy, it might be a struggle but so is life. And those compliments you are getting are completely unbiased, those women aren't looking for anything, they are heart felt honest compliments. Being a fire spitting dragon is no way to live your life either, women would rather cuddle up to a furry little bunny than a fire spitting dragon.

Take a few steps back and really look at yourself, not what you want from life or whats going on in your life, at YOU. Do you like the person you are? If not then change what you don't like, be what you want to be and what you want people to remember you as. The guy that used to be a nice guy then became a jerk or the nice guy who went through crap and remained that nice guy.

Sci-Fi said:

Sounds like you've calmed a lot since your first post. Who cares where the compliments come from, if you keep acting like that soon even they won't compliment you. One of those involved women just might have a friend that she might talk to about you, and repeat those compliments they've given you. But if you act like a jerk about it because you are sick of it then they will stop and those nice things will turn into negative things. Keep being the nice guy, it might be a struggle but so is life. And those compliments you are getting are completely unbiased, those women aren't looking for anything, they are heart felt honest compliments. Being a fire spitting dragon is no way to live your life either, women would rather cuddle up to a furry little bunny than a fire spitting dragon.

Take a few steps back and really look at yourself, not what you want from life or whats going on in your life, at YOU. Do you like the person you are? If not then change what you don't like, be what you want to be and what you want people to remember you as. The guy that used to be a nice guy then became a jerk or the nice guy who went through crap and remained that nice guy.

Click to expand...

I understand what you're saying, but look at it this way: who do you think is more likely to be taken advantage of? A bunny or a dragon? A dragon will eat a bunny.

The way I feel is this: I don't care if women think I'm Lucifer (Satan)
incarnate... As long as the bad ones know that I'm not one to be messed with, then I'm doing a good job. At least "the nice guy who became a jerk" is less likely to get walked over than the nice guy who remains nice even after getting walked on. Maybe not every woman thinks a nice guy is weak, but all it takes is just ONE that thinks that way to mess it up. Also, I would rather be openly ridiculed than shown false/mock kindness.

interesting post's, to be weak or to be strong????? the lessons I learned are to be honest. I can only speak from a mans point of view, but it is true, women are attracted to men who are solid and confident about themselves, and yet love a man who is emotional and inflective. One of these days I will post where I live, but for now I am totally comfortable being alone, I am solid with who I am, and guess what, she is genuinely attracted. I play no games with her, I respect her and I hope she will do the same, love is love, friends are friends, but trust is everything, trust yourself and all else will come together. I have to set aside certain things, and for the most part, I will always be the better man, whether in her arms, or on the phone, or in a letter, always be there as a friend, someone she can trust.

The_Iblis_Trigger said:

Sci-Fi said:

Sounds like you've calmed a lot since your first post. Who cares where the compliments come from, if you keep acting like that soon even they won't compliment you. One of those involved women just might have a friend that she might talk to about you, and repeat those compliments they've given you. But if you act like a jerk about it because you are sick of it then they will stop and those nice things will turn into negative things. Keep being the nice guy, it might be a struggle but so is life. And those compliments you are getting are completely unbiased, those women aren't looking for anything, they are heart felt honest compliments. Being a fire spitting dragon is no way to live your life either, women would rather cuddle up to a furry little bunny than a fire spitting dragon.

Take a few steps back and really look at yourself, not what you want from life or whats going on in your life, at YOU. Do you like the person you are? If not then change what you don't like, be what you want to be and what you want people to remember you as. The guy that used to be a nice guy then became a jerk or the nice guy who went through crap and remained that nice guy.

Click to expand...

I understand what you're saying, but look at it this way: who do you think is more likely to be taken advantage of? A bunny or a dragon? A dragon will eat a bunny.

The way I feel is this: I don't care if women think I'm Lucifer (Satan)
incarnate... As long as the bad ones know that I'm not one to be messed with, then I'm doing a good job. At least "the nice guy who became a jerk" is less likely to get walked over than the nice guy who remains nice even after getting walked on. Maybe not every woman thinks a nice guy is weak, but all it takes is just ONE that thinks that way to mess it up. Also, I would rather be openly ridiculed than shown false/mock kindness.

Click to expand...

I hate to say it but you have a really poor attitude. Everybody has bad experiences but you have to get past stuff. Being strong is not synonymous with being an ass. Being nice to people is not weak. You can stand up for yourself without being a dick. I hope things get easier for you but if you keep that kinda honeysuckle up you're gonna be alone forever.