Things You Regret You Did

I shouldn't have ever introduced Randy to Gary.

WHoops...already answered.

Telling a girl that I loved that we couldn't be together and that we should wait five years to "see where life takes us."

In retrospect, that was a shitty decision on my part.

Ah well.

My confession, the dead, the living, and all the leaves that have followed. We choose these paths fully aware of where they are likely to lead us, even if we refuse to accept the obvious. That we must make choices which torment us to no end; that we are forced to choose between what we want and what we want and we lose regardless of what we decide.

If you are out there and reading this, I am sorry. I am sorry for the suffering that you must endure to survive, to do what needs to be done.

I love you to no end, and I am so sorry that I can ever tell you this. It eats at me every single day and I am less without you.

I fell in love with a whore. And I'm not calling her that because I was bitter or angry but that she really is and who ruined my ability to trust people.

Okay, so here's something that I have never told anybody.
The only people that know what happened would be me and a few of my old classmates.
During the few years I lived in China there was this amazing girl in my class.
Her friends told me that she liked me. I panicked and didn't say anything. Then things became real awkward and we kinda avoided each other from then on.
I'm still not sure why I let that happen.
Maybe I thought I was too young (12), and my parents kept me real innocent so I didn't know what to do (I didn't even know what sex was lol).
Maybe I didn't feel like I was good enough for her. She was labelled as the fricken 校花 (school flower), which practically means that she was the prettiest girl in school.
She was also the class rep, did real well academically and in P.E.
This was about five years ago but it still comes back to my mind every now and then... :/

I tend to regret the things I didn't do more than the things I did. Mainly because I've lived a rather passive life. I remember when I was like 8 at the playground this girl offered me a candy cigarette but I didn't understand that it was candy and threw it on the ground (cue lonely island music) . I wouldn't say I regret this moment per se but I do believe there's a danger in trying to live too far in the lines. And I wonder if maybe I'd be different now if I'd allowed myself a more adventurous or spontaneous attitude towards new experiences when I was younger, instead of locking myself inside my own narrow world.

MisunderstoodVacancy said:

I tend to regret the things I didn't do more than the things I did. Mainly because I've lived a rather passive life. I remember when I was like 8 at the playground this girl offered me a candy cigarette but I didn't understand that it was candy and threw it on the ground (cue lonely island music) . I wouldn't say I regret this moment per se but I do believe there's a danger in trying to live too far in the lines. And I wonder if maybe I'd be different now if I'd allowed myself a more adventurous or spontaneous attitude towards new experiences when I was younger, instead of locking myself inside my own narrow world.

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I feel this way sometimes myself. There are things that I regret I did or said, but there are also things that I regret that I didn't do or didn't say, and I regret them just as much. I too have lived a passive life either out of worry, believing I just wasn't good at anything, or out of not knowing what to do - either I was paralyzed by indecision, or I simply didn't know what choices were available. I too believe there's a danger in living too far inside the lines, and unlike the danger of living on the edge, this kind creeps up on you and you never suspect it. It's a different kind of danger - not so much the life-threatening kind, but the kind where you suddenly realize you don't know who you are or what you want to do with your life. I also find myself wondering how different my life would have been if I had less self-doubts and fears and was more adventurous and self-confident enough to go for the things I wanted to do but was afraid of doing.