I thought I would join this forum, as it does seem to apply to me. I look like a perfectly normal, well adjusted 46-year old guy. I am fairly intelligent, creative and articulate. But I do not have -- and never did have -- a single "friend" in the world. I simply don't feel like I can mentally relate to other people in that way, and I am uncomfortable in groups. I had a great childhood (no abuse, etc), and I do have a good, supportive family. (In that way, I am lucky.) But socially, I have NOTHING -- completely alone.
I have never been married and have no kids. Even though I am physically decent looking, women simply are NOT attracted to me (it must be something in my personality). Even the desperate, overweight, physically unattractive women are not drawn to me and have NO interest in me. I will never understand why because I am sweet, friendly, sensitive and sincere -- but they all see NOTHING in me. And I know this from many years of experience.
When I observe other people's "friendships", it all looks forced, fake and conditional to me. I was never able to play that game -- and I believe it is all a game. There were times when, by way of some activity, I was part of a group.. and I was pretty uncomfortable. In time, groups always turn on me.. the most aggressive members start poking fun at me.. I am always seen as a fun target to pick on -- a weak link. Group members always sense this and "attack".
I don't hate people. There are a few INDIVIDUALS in this world that I like and respect. I dislike GROUPS, because groups CHANGE people. At this point in my life, I doubt that I'll ever have a person that I can call a "friend" -- I highly doubt it. But I still have hopes of someday finding a woman to spend my life with. I hope to find an exception -- just one odd, one-in-a-million woman who genuinely accepts me and loves me for who I am. I really hope she's out there, because this has been a long, lonely journey.
I have never been married and have no kids. Even though I am physically decent looking, women simply are NOT attracted to me (it must be something in my personality). Even the desperate, overweight, physically unattractive women are not drawn to me and have NO interest in me. I will never understand why because I am sweet, friendly, sensitive and sincere -- but they all see NOTHING in me. And I know this from many years of experience.
When I observe other people's "friendships", it all looks forced, fake and conditional to me. I was never able to play that game -- and I believe it is all a game. There were times when, by way of some activity, I was part of a group.. and I was pretty uncomfortable. In time, groups always turn on me.. the most aggressive members start poking fun at me.. I am always seen as a fun target to pick on -- a weak link. Group members always sense this and "attack".
I don't hate people. There are a few INDIVIDUALS in this world that I like and respect. I dislike GROUPS, because groups CHANGE people. At this point in my life, I doubt that I'll ever have a person that I can call a "friend" -- I highly doubt it. But I still have hopes of someday finding a woman to spend my life with. I hope to find an exception -- just one odd, one-in-a-million woman who genuinely accepts me and loves me for who I am. I really hope she's out there, because this has been a long, lonely journey.