Nobody ever invites me to do anything on the weekends

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vanillalatte

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I'm a high school student, and I'm not really hated or made fun of, but I don't have any close friends. I know a lot of people but none of them really want to hang out with me on the weekends. They're all happy to talk to me during school, but I never get invited to parties or movies or anything outside of club events. I try to talk to a lot of people, and I'm on a debate team and in a couple clubs, but I never really found anybody who I have had a real connection with except a senior who graduated last year and is at collage far away. I had close friends in middle school, but one ditched me for friends from sports, and another is a hardcore anime/game person but I grew up and got sick of those things, so we don't have much to talk about anymore. I don't really fit in with the anime people/ her friends anymore but I don't fit in with other people I know/ people in my classes either. I get really lonely on weekends when I have nothing to do, but I don't know how to get people to want to do stuff with me. I tried asking my friend from chem if she wanted to go hang out and it didn't work, and I'm scared that other people will reject me too. How do I get them to invite me to do stuff? Being alone all the time really sucks and it makes me so depressed I don't enjoy anything. The only thing that makes me happy is getting messages from the friend who is in collage, but that doesn't happen very often and I'm too afraid that I'll bug her to im her more often. She's at Harvard so she's very busy all the time. I tried posting this on yahoo answers but it didn't work so maybe someone here has some suggestions.
 
Have you ever invited people to hang out with you? You say you never get invited anywhere, but maybe they just think you won't accept.
High school kids can be fickle people, if you are unconsciously projecting to them that you "don't fit in" they will find it hard to approach you outside of school. I'm sure you have at least one thing in common with the people at your school, it just takes a bit to figure out what it is. And even if you don't, that doesn't mean you can't get together and have fun.

Take the first step and ask a couple people if they want to go see a movie, go bowling, go to the mall (or whatever it is teenagers do these days. lol) over the winter break. I'm sure you will find at least one person who'd be open to going out and having fun :)
 
i know how you feel. just know that your not alone. i rarely got invited to hang out either. and when i did it was always to smoke pot or something and i was just never into that. i never really made a connection with anyone either. i remember justsitting in my room alone playing super nintendo and listening to music on the weekends. its still the same for me, whenever i do get invited its to some party where everyone will be getting wasted drunk and probably smoking pot. i just dont have any interest in that.
 
Well I do have a few things in common with people, but I tried asking a couple people, but they're always "busy". Edgecrusher, I don't hang out with people who do pot. Drugs scare me a bit.
 
just keep asking decent ppl to hang out, and yes...stay way and i enforce this STAY AWAY from drugs or ppl who try to drag u their "cool lifestyle" of cocaine consume.


 
vanillalatte said:
Well I do have a few things in common with people, but I tried asking a couple people, but they're always "busy". Edgecrusher, I don't hang out with people who do pot. Drugs scare me a bit.

yea same here. for whatever reason i am just very uncomfortable around them. even something like pot. and its weird because i dont understand why its illegal and alcohol is not. maybe its some weird mental thing, maybe if it was legal i wouldnt be uncomfortable around it. even if it was though i still wouldnt smoke it.

 
edgecrusher said:
vanillalatte said:
Well I do have a few things in common with people, but I tried asking a couple people, but they're always "busy". Edgecrusher, I don't hang out with people who do pot. Drugs scare me a bit.

yea same here. for whatever reason i am just very uncomfortable around them. even something like pot. and its weird because i dont understand why its illegal and alcohol is not. maybe its some weird mental thing, maybe if it was legal i wouldnt be uncomfortable around it. even if it was though i still wouldnt smoke it.

For me part of it is just that the pot smokers I know tend to be ******** who only think about post modern philosiphy. It's so ironic how 90% of the socialists I know are elitist jerks... I don't have anything against pot in of itself. If you want to do something that will hurt you feel free. That's probably because I live in a collage town filled with pot-smoking hippie professors and their kids though. I'm for legalization, but that is mainly because of failure of deterrence, although that is an issue for another forum. I still think it is unhealthy, and frankly I'll probably never try it. Alcohol freaks me out too! I don't understand how anyone could drink it, unless it is a sweet kind like a margarita. Maybe those don't taste as disgusting as I've heard.
 
Don't be afraid of rejection, it's something I think universally we have all suffered through. The important thing is that you keep asking people, keep talking to people like you're doing, find a common interest and focus on that. Someone might not want to "hang out this weekend" but if you know of a mutual interest that can translate into something you would both like to do, their answer might change. Narrowing it down might help, that's one thing I could think of as of now. Until your weekends are sorted out, you can always look for some activity that gets you out there a little to do until then. Both to take up your time and to potentially meet new people.
 
I know the feeling, there were a few periods in my life when no friends cared I existed. Best thing I can advise is to use your free time when you're alone to start bodybuilding. Get a part-time job to make money, and start saving up at an early age. Just focus on those two things, and sooner or later you will get friends.

Ouch, I see you like anime. I have a friend from another forum who is balls-deep obsessed with anime and it's lead him down the toilet. He's now getting plastic surgery to look like an anime character.

Just FYI, I assume you're a guy. Am I correct?
 
Well, I'm kind of in the same predicament as you. However, I'm in a special kind of program at school, and I see the same people everyday - I don't know anyone else in the school. And those people in my class aren't really the normal "hang-out at the mall" types. They... prefer to keep to themselves. :/

Sorry, I don't have much advice to give. Just wanted to say there's other people like me out there in the same situation as you. You can PM me if you'd like to talk, though. :)
 
SocratesX said:
Ouch, I see you like anime. I have a friend from another forum who is balls-deep obsessed with anime and it's lead him down the toilet. He's now getting plastic surgery to look like an anime character.

There's nothing wrong with liking anime. I'd say your "friend" is an extreme case. Not everyone is going to be like that just because they're interested in anime.
 
Yeah man you said you don't have any problems talking to people so that's good. Next time you're talking with some people try to bring up an event or an idea that you want to go to, and see if anyone's down to go. Also text messaging is huge, especially if you are afraid of being rejected to your face. Just take the initiative and invite people, and as you hangout with them, they'll eventually invite you to stuff if everything goes well. If you're not on facebook, get on it, as unfortunately a lot of events are on there as well (especially if/when you go to college).
 
I get invited but I tend to decline due to my lack in coversationalism (is it a word?). I don't do well in crowds and tend to melt into the background or just simply disappear.
 
Ask someone who's going out on the weekend to go with them,simple as that. Then you can maybe turn them into more close friends than they are now
 
i think if you should do some initiative to invite them. Maybe you are not easy to deal with that's why they are afraid or shy to invite you maybe they think you will just reject their invitation.

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