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Sally's Song

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So I'm going on my second date tonight... probably just going out for coffee since my first day of work is tomorrow in the AM. I guess this is me moving on...

=/
 
You do not sound too sure, but I hope things work out for you. I read what you said in the other thread and I know you are in a difficult situation. We seem to have the opposite problem. You have a heart that is not yours to give and I have a heart that no one wants

I know it is easy to say, but I think you should let the new guy know how you feel. Personally, I would like to know upfront if the other person feels like things cannot progress to the point where I want. If you tell him and he decides to stick around, then at least he knew what he was getting into and you were honest with him. I have been in a situation where I stuck around hoping things would work out and they did not. I regret hanging around for so long because it did nothing but cause me pain and I knew I should have let go but I was too afraid to do so

Do you know why you continue to have feelings for FL? From what I have read, he has not done anything lately to deserve your feelings and I hate to see you struggling :( I would like for you to be able to move on "get there". Anyhow, best of luck to you :)
 
stuff4096 said:
You do not sound too sure, but I hope things work out for you. I read what you said in the other thread and I know you are in a difficult situation. We seem to have the opposite problem. You have a heart that is not yours to give and I have a heart that no one wants

I know it is easy to say, but I think you should let the new guy know how you feel. Personally, I would like to know upfront if the other person feels like things cannot progress to the point where I want. If you tell him and he decides to stick around, then at least he knew what he was getting into and you were honest with him. I have been in a situation where I stuck around hoping things would work out and they did not. I regret hanging around for so long because it did nothing but cause me pain and I knew I should have let go but I was too afraid to do so

Do you know why you continue to have feelings for FL? From what I have read, he has not done anything lately to deserve your feelings and I hate to see you struggling :( I would like for you to be able to move on "get there". Anyhow, best of luck to you :)

Actually something happened recently with him... I had a dream he was back and that night it turned out to be correct. He most definitely does *not* deserve my feelings, of which I'm painfully aware.

*New Guy* could tell something was wrong (told ya he was sweet), and I told him as much of the truth as I could handle. I made sure to stress that *FL* was not my ex- or current boyfriend, which is the absolute truth. He handled it pretty well, and obviously he handled it well enough to ask me out tonight.

What would make the situation easier is if *FL* grew a pair & sat down with me to make things right again. He's told a mutual friend that he misses talking to me and wishes things never went sour in the first place, but again, he told someone *else* instead of telling me, which does nothing to help the situation. As it stands I know I'll never stop loving him, but I'm just afraid that if it continues I'll start hating him. And for the record, I don't have a hateful bone in my body!

Thanks for the concern, Stuff! It's just something I'll have to sort through and work through on my own... what doesn't kill me makes me stronger.

 
The best definition I've heard for 'love' was on a video game. I'd post it, but I suspect that doing so would get me banned(and would at the very least, be an unsensitive thing to do)
 
Code S.O.L said:
The best definition I've heard for 'love' was on a video game. I'd post it, but I suspect that doing so would get me banned(and would at the very least, be an unsensitive thing to do)

Was it from Grand Theft Auto? lol Give me the censored version (i promise you that my mind will fill in the blanks)

 
Sally said:
Actually something happened recently with him... I had a dream he was back and that night it turned out to be correct. He most definitely does *not* deserve my feelings, of which I'm painfully aware.

*New Guy* could tell something was wrong (told ya he was sweet), and I told him as much of the truth as I could handle. I made sure to stress that *FL* was not my ex- or current boyfriend, which is the absolute truth. He handled it pretty well, and obviously he handled it well enough to ask me out tonight.

What would make the situation easier is if *FL* grew a pair & sat down with me to make things right again. He's told a mutual friend that he misses talking to me and wishes things never went sour in the first place, but again, he told someone *else* instead of telling me, which does nothing to help the situation. As it stands I know I'll never stop loving him, but I'm just afraid that if it continues I'll start hating him. And for the record, I don't have a hateful bone in my body!

Thanks for the concern, Stuff! It's just something I'll have to sort through and work through on my own... what doesn't kill me makes me stronger.

New Guy sounds like a real winner. Also, I am proud of you for being able to tell him what you could. Not everyone has the courage or integrity to be honest with someone, especially when it involves something difficult. Good job :)

On the other hand, FL has done the cowardly thing, as you mentioned, by telling someone else instead of you. I agree that he should man up and tell you face to face. I believe you when you say you do not have a hateful bone in your body. I kind of wish he would leave you alone only because he seems to keep popping in and out which does nothing but cause the cycle to keep repeating. It seems like he just wants you around when it suits him which is totally unfair to you

Anyhow, you do have things to work through but do not feel like you necessarily have to do it alone. If you choose to do so, then that is fine, but know that you do not have to :) Good luck!
 
stuff4096 said:
Sally said:
Actually something happened recently with him... I had a dream he was back and that night it turned out to be correct. He most definitely does *not* deserve my feelings, of which I'm painfully aware.

*New Guy* could tell something was wrong (told ya he was sweet), and I told him as much of the truth as I could handle. I made sure to stress that *FL* was not my ex- or current boyfriend, which is the absolute truth. He handled it pretty well, and obviously he handled it well enough to ask me out tonight.

What would make the situation easier is if *FL* grew a pair & sat down with me to make things right again. He's told a mutual friend that he misses talking to me and wishes things never went sour in the first place, but again, he told someone *else* instead of telling me, which does nothing to help the situation. As it stands I know I'll never stop loving him, but I'm just afraid that if it continues I'll start hating him. And for the record, I don't have a hateful bone in my body!

Thanks for the concern, Stuff! It's just something I'll have to sort through and work through on my own... what doesn't kill me makes me stronger.

New Guy sounds like a real winner. Also, I am proud of you for being able to tell him what you could. Not everyone has the courage or integrity to be honest with someone, especially when it involves something difficult. Good job :)

On the other hand, FL has done the cowardly thing, as you mentioned, by telling someone else instead of you. I agree that he should man up and tell you face to face. I believe you when you say you do not have a hateful bone in your body. I kind of wish he would leave you alone only because he seems to keep popping in and out which does nothing but cause the cycle to keep repeating. It seems like he just wants you around when it suits him which is totally unfair to you

Anyhow, you do have things to work through but do not feel like you necessarily have to do it alone. If you choose to do so, then that is fine, but know that you do not have to :) Good luck!

Oh this New Guy is great! We're going out to an Indian restaurant tomorrow night, all because I mentioned how much I LOVE curry.

The incident involving FL was out of either one of our control. Neither one of us expected to see the other. I won't go into detail, but it was best described as serendipity (especially considering the man lives 3000 miles away from me 345 days a year). I won't judge him when it comes to not talking to me... but I will say this: he and I both know he's taking advantage of the relationship.

 

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