Doesn't it piss you off, seriously...

Doesn't it piss you off? The feeling inside that makes you feel empty and depressed sometimes all because you don't have a special someone?

I mean why? Why do I feel like honeysuckle sometimes because I've never had a girlfriend?? I hate the fact that I desire a relationship when I don't want one. I hate that I frequently think that I would be much better off mentally if I had a girlfriend.

I hate waking up in the middle of the night depressed and angry because I desire someone sleeping next to me yet I tell myself "fresia THAT" because I don't understand why I feel this way. Why can't I just be content with my independence?

I'm so conflicted to the point sometimes that I really don't give a honeysuckle about anything. I don't know what I want, why I want, or if I truly want...

In my world, love is so depressing and I wish it would leave me alone.

I have goals and dreams in life but I feel that since I'm frequently in the state of mind that I just don't care, then I can't work towards my goals.

I lack confidence because I don't have a girlfriend and I don't have a girlfriend because I lack confidence....and I keep telling myself I don't want a girlfriend even though I frequently desire one.

What the fresia is wrong with me?! Seriously...I'm tired of fighting with myself.

Just be honest N striaght up with urself dude....U want a peice of ass.
its ok...dude ...miost men wants a peice of ass too.
There lack of balance in ur life @ the monet..that is all.
fresia it just as chciks out..if u get rejected dont take it so personal...most guys get rejected again N again. The more rejections u face..the more ull get used to it OR It just roll off of ya..then just move on to the chick...
I havnt been cured of the Ill so you ***** syndrom yet.lol
Try not to give a fresia so **** much.. The fucken sugar coat versions of that are...dont worry, let go , be transparent, no expectations
You dont lack confidence..you just havnt been practicing it.
Phatom fears r illusions...everybody has fears..so dont trip.
Theres two types of fears..
Fears the will stop u . Keep u safe or keep u in ur comfortzone..
Fear that will get you to react..
Learn how to identify them.
Mmmm...u want pussy but ur comfortiable not getting none...
Ur balls r bigger than ur fears...
some people call this Courage.

Lonesome Crow said:

Just be honest N striaght up with urself dude....U want a peice of ass.
its ok...dude ...miost men wants a peice of ass too.

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If by piece of ass you mean someone to fresia, then yes; sometimes I do have those thoughts and I hate having those as well.

I just feel anger most of the time when I get so lonely to the point of depression because I keep telling myself I truly don't want what I desire.

There's two things I wish for when things get like this for me:

1) I wish I could be content with these thoughts and pursue a romantic relationship.

2) Or I could overcome my anger, depression, and sexual frustration when I get lonely.

Number 2 seems to be the one I hope for yet I believe it to be very unrealistic and that pisses me off even more...

Can anyone relate to this or does it make no ******* sense?

I lack confidence because I don't have a girlfriend and I don't have a girlfriend because I lack confidence....and I keep telling myself I don't want a girlfriend even though I frequently desire one.

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have you not had a girlfriend before? its usually not the boost of confidence you're making it sound like it is. for me anyway being in a relationship doesn't have anything to do with confidence... i think this is total bs unless you have never had one or unless your manhood is hinging on this.

1) I wish I could be content with these thoughts and pursue a romantic relationship.

2) Or I could overcome my anger, depression, and sexual frustration when I get lonely.

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1.)so do it then. the sooner you start looking the better. i think you are making a bigger deal of this than it has to be.
2.)i feel this way too. it can be hard to be lonely but i tell myself that you are always alone anyway and you shouldn't be afraid of it. on the other hand i can't deny that i need other people... i don't think you should be perplexed about wanting a girlfriend and being alone. its normal.

if you want a girlfriend, just go get one.

Sounds almost like my life ... never dated so I know exactly how it feels. I too get that feeling of just wanting to give up because everyone else around me is falling in love and I feel left out when invited to places. But I keep telling myself tomorrow might be the day I finally meet her. I have had female friends, but I don't give up because I've haven't met the right one yet.

Also women can sense a desperate guy ...

have you not had a girlfriend before? its usually not the boost of confidence you're making it sound like it is. for me anyway being in a relationship doesn't have anything to do with confidence...

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No, I've never had a girlfriend before. I asked out a friend about 4 years ago and got rejected and I took it very hard and was borderline suicidal and depressed for 2 years. I still remember that day very clearly. At the exact moment I was asking her out I was also thinking to myself "This is a mistake and I don't want to do this". Things then turned very awkward between us because of me and now we're no longer friends and never talk to each other. Of course there's more to it but I don't want to write an essay here.

i think this is total bs unless you have never had one or unless your manhood is hinging on this.

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BS as in I'm lying? Perhaps I am lying to myself about not wanting a girlfriend. I consider this all time but who the fresia does that? I'm just so confused about it and so I find myself not knowing what I want.

1.)so do it then. the sooner you start looking the better. i think you are making a bigger deal of this than it has to be.

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So that's it? Just do it? I hate making such a big deal about it but I feel I need to first find a way to get rid of this mindset that I don't want what I desire. And the idea of just giving in really bothers me. I can't seem to find some middle ground for my wants and desires.

God, after reading this, who the fresia would even want to be with someone like me? I sound like such a whiny *****.

Dude...stop beat up on urselves..All that dose it eat away ur self esteem.

its not as complicated as you thinking it is. U simply just lack experince, practice, training or exposure.
Change ur attitude...Take baby steps.
Just talk to women , greet them or smile at all the women that crosses ur path...This gets you into action..so u can get action. Just build on that. Once u get used to talking to women..or a having a conversation with them..then just them out.....Dont make the misttake of only looking for one woman or certaintypes of women...In other words stop cutting urself short.
Thats how I do it..Not every women I meet r wanna date me...but a percentage of them will...So the more women i interact with..the more Ill meet women thats attractive me...
Like I say..its just like any other skills you can learn and master..thrugh practice or training.
And have fun while ur @ this

Talking to more girl will definitely build up your confidence ... I know it's dumb but the next time you talk to a girl listen closely to what she is saying to build conversation skills. One of my old friends who had no problems with females told me this lol ...

Think back when you were in elementary school dealing with grammar. The assignment was underlining the subjects. Well, try doing that in your head when the person is talking to you. When you pick out the subjects pick out the one that will keep the conversation going or make it easier to make a transition into another topic if needed.

I hate it when I hear guys say they don't know what to talk about when hanging around females. The ones that are just all googlly eyes and only want one thing ... Remember you want to stand out when it comes to females. Be someone of interest to talk and laugh with. Think of how many guys approach a girl in their lifetime and only want of one thing.

Of course ... I'm still training myself with this approach too... I'm a late bloomer in this game, but it has worked for me with building confidence.

He does have a point though. Even though I'm long broken up with her, my first girlfriend changed me completely. I was able to relax a lot more after having gone through that first relationship. Opened my eyes and made me realize that women are not these perfect mysterious creatures, but the same as everyone else.

Sure everyone can say that to you, but you don't really believe it until you see it for yourself. Not sure why it works that way...

You know, after thinking more about this, there's something in the back of my mind I've always known on a subconscious level but for some reason never really acknowledged it.

I'm not willing to do what I believe to be necessary in order to be content with my life. I feel that I need to be accepting of my sexuality in order for me to get my honeysuckle together but I can't for some reason. I'm not willing to work towards accepting my desires to be intimate with someone. I'm not willing to work towards being the person I desire to be. And I don't have the confidence or self-respect to work towards being the person I want to be.

It saddens me to say this but it seems that sex is the end all be all and reason why people pursue a relationship whether they realize it or not. Why do I consider this relevant and important to bring up? I don't really know. For some reason I have a negative and irrational attitude towards sex and I can't change it. To me, it's utterly impossible for a romantic relationship to exist without sex and that depresses me for some reason.

Maybe I'm just being immature and naive but it seems reality really pisses me off and all I can do is cry myself a ******* river, build a shitty bridge and try to get over it.

Man,lol,calm down,I've been like this and why would all of them turn you down?

In here most of the girls are either act like whores or act like nuns so I had my first gf as a kid (I think that doesn't even count but even so) and didn't had that "jump" that I think Limlim was talking about but I had a phase when I was about 11 that I spent the greater part of a year period just depressed as hell cause I was in a strugle with myself because I had a crush for a girl and she gave me 0 attention

The thing was,when I was younger I had some extra pounds and even though I had many other qualities,every one got on my nerves because of it. And that made me think that I was ugly as hell and that I sucked on the eyes of the world.

Well,a month or two before my 12th birthday I was taller,thiner (not that thiner but even so) and pumped up. And you know what? Even then she rejected me,and you know why? Cause I had 0 confidence and closed myself in (metaforical) walls,so no wonder she never liked me.

Then I dropped the **** "I suck" mentality and in one single month I made out with two girls,being one of them 14. And you know why?
Cause instead of thinking that I sucked,I looked in the mirror and saw what I really was. And I was,and still am,a great guy.

And so are you,just that you need to stop with that mentality and raise the bar. They think exacly like us and they basicly are the same as us but with boobs,different genitals and the hability to have a baby. So if you find some girl dating material,she'll probably do a similar avaliation of you.

So trust yourself and she'll notice you are confident. And what would you prefer,a drop dead person in the verge of suicide or a confident,positive,happy and cheerfull person?

Sex? Find a hooker. Get it over with. You'll feel much better. I don't know where you live, but around here, bar whores are plentiful, they'll do you for twenty bucks, and some would probably enjoy helping you out with your emotional issues. Like I said, I don't know where you live, but I'm guessing working girls frequent watering holes everywhere. Just be careful. Use protection and don't let her rip you off.

Secondly, we all go through periods of loneliness and insecurity. Believe me, I just came out of a three month funk myself. Time is the ultimate healer, and sometimes - as in my case - it's the only healer. We can tell you things all day long, things you already know to be true, but until something "clicks" inside, talk alone won't help, at least not completely. Have faith. I don't mean religious faith. Just tell yourself that everything will be okay. Trust me, it will. I've been through hell and high water, and I'm still here. Once you feel okay, you'll begin acting okay. Once that happens, women will be attracted to you. Let them make the first move. I don't know what you like to do or where you like to hang out, but whatever and wherever that is, just be yourself, and sooner than you think, a girl will approach you in some manner. Try to stay calm. Let her take the lead, and follow along with the conversation. You may be clumsy at first, but keep in mind that she may feel the same way. Don't - absolutely do not - fall for the first girl that comes along. Make yourself visible, meet as many women as you can, and you'll be well on your way to feeling confident enough to control your own destiny.

Poueff said:

In here most of the girls are either act like whores or act like nuns

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here? in this forum?

It's typical of men to see virgin or whore and nothing in between. We would like to raise virgin one tiny degree to faithful, but faithful is often found somewhere in the middle... if it's found at all.

i didn't mean to be rude when i said this was bs. now that i read the rest of what you wrote i see that you are more introspective/sensitive/thoughtful than average.

So that's it? Just do it? I hate making such a big deal about it but I feel I need to first find a way to get rid of this mindset that I don't want what I desire. And the idea of just giving in really bothers me. I can't seem to find some middle ground for my wants and desires.

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i'm confused by this.
are you saying you have an attitude/belief and can't get move forward until i don't have this attitude/believe it anymore.
and that the attitude belief is that you "don't want what you desire."
desire means wanting stuff that you want. obviously you do want what you want and its ok to desire things.

desires make us happy and you're allowed to have them. you don't have to guilt trip yourself just because you want something sexual or emotional...

I think that you just have to "do it." I think that you are inhibited and that actually your self analysis is holding you back because its like an excuse to not get hurt.
sorry i'm not more poetic or philosophical. but this is true... just take the leap...

God, after reading this, who the fresia would even want to be with someone like me? I sound like such a whiny *****.

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actually i think that a lot of people would appreciate that you are thoughtful/emotional. i sort of agree with the crow and think you need to get laid. but i also think you're lonely. its actually really normal to over think things when you are lonely and frustrated.

Do u have aspergers? goto an asian spa man and bring a 50 dollar tip, its worth it

misa said:

So that's it? Just do it? I hate making such a big deal about it but I feel I need to first find a way to get rid of this mindset that I don't want what I desire. And the idea of just giving in really bothers me. I can't seem to find some middle ground for my wants and desires.

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i'm confused by this.
are you saying you have an attitude/belief and can't get move forward until i don't have this attitude/believe it anymore.
and that the attitude belief is that you "don't want what you desire."
desire means wanting stuff that you want. obviously you do want what you want and its ok to desire things.

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Yes. That's what I'm saying. I feel that I need to first work towards drastically changing my attitude towards intimate relationships. However, I hate to admit it, but I think my problem is is that I'm not willing to do what's necessary to change my mindset. I'm not willing to put myself through any step by step process I've read about (so far) in order to help myself.

I guess in a nutshell, I'm not willing to help myself help myself....if that makes any sense.

misa said:

desires make us happy and you're allowed to have them. you don't have to guilt trip yourself just because you want something sexual or emotional...

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What is the main difference between a need, a want and a desire? It sounds like such a stupid, brain dead question but I really don't know.

Do I need a girlfriend because I desire one?
Do I need a girlfriend because I want one?

Do I want a girlfriend because I desire one?
Do I want a girlfriend because I need one?

Do I desire a girlfriend because I need one?
Do I desire a girlfriend because I want one?

These questions just annoy the fresia out of me. I hate asking myself questions I don't know the answer to yet I frequently do it. My only philosophy in life seems to be: Question everything.

And yes, I know, I complicate things to the point where I laugh at how ridiculous and even nonsensical some questions I ask myself are.

misa said:

I think that you just have to "do it." I think that you are inhibited and that actually your self analysis is holding you back because its like an excuse to not get hurt.

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I couldn't agree more. I know I'm like this because I'm extremely afraid of being hurt like the first time because I KNEW I would get hurt but I ******* DID IT ANYWAY!!! And it pisses me off that I haven't mentally toughened up in the slightest since my first rejection. Instead, I now have thoughts like "fresia it! You're already miserable, just do it, get rejected again, regret it all, etc...."

OK. I don't want to feel this way. I never felt this way when I was younger.

I don't really believe in what I'm about to say but I'll say it anyway because maybe I'm right but whatever, fresia it...
Humanity needs desires in order to pro-create because some people don't want to pro-create, such as myself.

Yes these feelings are very annoying. I had them for a time. However, I have finally reached a point of complete annoyance with then and am working to change them. Do I am taking three steps to change my situation. No longer am I going to sit around and wait for the right girl to come. I did that all through highschool & college and missed out on an important development stage. What did that get nee? Nothing but a broken heart when I accidentally managed to get a girlfriend. Not to mention 3 lost years of my life.

So I am going out and finding her. Not only that I am going out and figuring out this whole process. That way in the end I can say I tried. Never forget that you are a guy and the guys have to be the seekers. In the end no one will feel sympathy for a man who does not try and find his girl.

Used to piss me off, but now I have filled the desire for a "special someone" with my marriage to the weights and PUA. They are my special someone. I have changed the way I look at things, and view people the same way I view a deck of cards. Like the four suits in a deck of cards (Spades, Clubs, Hearts, Diamonds), there are four suits of men: Alphas, Betas, Gammas, and Omegas.

Women are just so adorable, I just love them. But I remind myself: Equal in dignity, separate in nature. Everyday that my looks, muscles, cash, flash, and social capital increases and improves, I realize that it is I who have something great to offer to women. Tomorrow is always another day. Another day to lift more weight and make more money.

yes, it pisses me off too. it pisses EVERYONE off no matter what they say. no one wants to be alone. we aren't made to be alone. everyone wants to at least have one person to talk to and hang out with.

don't fight it...