Comparing yourself to others

I have a habit of always comparing myself to other people and it's gotten very bad. It used to be small things like, "oh she's thinner than me" or "her hair is nicer than mine". But now there are attacks with the comparitives such as, "she's more popular than I am, therefore no one in the whole world likes me so my life is worthless".

Because of it, I don't even like going out because I can imagine myself comparing myself to other strangers during the whole outing and making myself miserable. It's hard to walk to my mailbox without thinking, "her thighs are thinner/she's smarter than I am" much less go to a normal teenage outing like a party or the mall.


I know I can't be alone in the whole self-esteem problem, so what are some of your tips in defending yourself against your mind?

hey abhorred don't be so down on yourself I'm sure you're very attractive
I have the same problem though espically when it comes to grades jobs and talents it drives me insane
my sister is just 22 and she already had a successful job as at radiologist at a good hospital she's dating a crazy smart succesfull bio enginer who is getting his docterate, but none of it makes a differnce. Her having a job and a boyfriend doesn't prevent me from getting a job or a date, and mulling over this won't help me

I'm not sure why but it seems to be natural to compare oursleves to others we all do it,

we have this biological internal drive to be better than everyone else, maybe it goes back to the caveman days of extreme natural selsction or something. we all want to be the alpha male or female,

but we can be happy and succesfull without being the thinnest strongest fastest or most talented person in the world


and well for the whole self esteem stuff, for me delusion is key, I tell myself that I am the bad ass honeysuckle ( well because sometimes I totally am ( see it totally works))

focus on the good cool things you do, like making a lucky toss into the trash bin or whatever

fake it till you make baby,
but I know you don't have to fake it at all

I do it too, and I'd bet that everyone does. Keep that in mind: That the person you're comparing yourself to is doing the same thing herself.

The root cuase of our suffernings and low self esteem.

We all do this @ some level. We were programmed, conditioned and gets reinforced from birth. Its so deeply ingrained in us..we belive it to truth.

Good new you recognize it...
Self actualizztion

Its just old unworkable ideas and beliefs...You are not your beleifs.
You have beliefs...

Change your thinking change your life.
Free your mind. Free yourself
Controll your mind or it will controll you. Worst..others will control your mind then controll you.

Be well....

You guys are so right. Thank you.

We are all unique. We are like paintings on a canvas that is never complete until we leave this earth. Some of us are painted to look like others, poor forgeries, but we remain unique.

What is the same without, can never be the same within... Every hue of our lives is shaded by that which we have known... That which no other can ever know...

You are you, not me, not anyone else. What makes you, you, is what makes you perfect, and for all your time on earth, a work in progress. We, none of us, can please others until we please ourselves.

Look in the mirror, in it you will see the world's greatest masterpiece...

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Alaric said:

We are all unique. We are like paintings on a canvas that is never complete until we leave this earth. Some of us are painted to look like others, poor forgeries, but we remain unique.

What is the same without, can never be the same within... Every hue of our lives is shaded by that which we have known... That which no other can ever know...

You are you, not me, not anyone else. What makes you, you, is what makes you perfect, and for all your time on earth, a work in progress. We, none of us, can please others until we please ourselves.

Look in the mirror, in it you will see the world's greatest masterpiece...

Click to expand...

Alaric, that was beautifully put. Thank you.

Hugs!

Just remember that others do the same thing also, no matter how confident a person appears there's always that seed of doubt, it's just a matter of realizing no one's opinions matter or affect you in the least bit, only in your mind.

What you're probably doing is comparing yourself with person X on the basis of the very aspect that person X does best of all. Keep doing that and you build up a case that you are kinda crap. But it's not true! For example, Andy is really good at sports, has an OK job and is not intelligent. Bob is really intelligent, but no good at sports and has an OK job. Sid has a great job. I compare my job acheivements with Sid, my sporting ability with Andy, and wish I was as clever as Bob.

If I changed the permutations, I could build a case that I was doing pretty well. Maybe it would help to build the bigger picture. Also, some things don't really matter. For example, I cannot sing. I'd like to be able to, and admire great vocalists. But it's not going to happen, and doesn't really matter, so I just need to let it go.

Now I'm giving you all these answers as if I never do those things to my own situation. Perhaps I should try doing these for myself.

I compare myself to others to check in to make sure that I am accomplishing as much as I should be.

Just slap that person with your dick, there's no way to recover from that. game over


edit: this is almost as bad as drunk texting, I swear I wrote a nice indepth article on how other people feel about themselves, my laptop must've shut off and erased it thus voila, my aggravated answer.

I compare myself to others too.. :/

My tip is: There is ALWAYS somebody who is thinner than you, but there is always people who are fatter than you.

It's unnecessary, because everybody is different looking, try to see the good sides of you, I know there is..