A question to women (from a guy)

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A new life

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I got fat
Felt awful about myself
and have been alone for a very very long time

I'm changing my life & losing weight

My question to you is:

After I get thin again will my having been alone
for a very very long time disqualify me from being wanted again?
Or does that make me damaged beyond repair?
 
A new life said:
I got fat
Felt awful about myself
and have been alone for a very very long time

I'm changing my life & losing weight

My question to you is:

After I get thin again will my having been alone
for a very very long time disqualify me from being wanted again?
Or does that make me damaged beyond repair?

I'm not a woman but I sure as hell can answer to this.

How would it be that harmfull? If anything,anyone who dates you won't even know how long you were alone for that long,but even so,they won't care about the past,they care about now
 
you being overweight might have shaken your self-confidence, and your insecurity would be noticeable to other ppl; should that be the case, I would only recommend spending time around your friends and family, regain your social skills until you feel comfortable enough with yourself to approach the opposite sex.

that's incredibly presumptuous of me, since i don't know much about you; but I hope I wasn't completely useless
 
Rigel said:
you being overweight might have shaken your self-confidence, and your insecurity would be noticeable to other ppl; should that be the case, I would only recommend spending time around your friends and family, regain your social skills until you feel comfortable enough with yourself to approach the opposite sex.

that's incredibly presumptuous of me, since i don't know much about you; but I hope I wasn't completely useless

To be honest,I don't think that's really a big option,since he will only deep in more in that "safe box" than he should
 
I'm sorry, why would being fat disqualify you from dating? Did you distance yourself simply because you were fat?

Personally, I like bigger guys. So I don't really see the initial problem with you, or any guy, being over-weight. Doesn't bother me at all. In fact, it doesn't bother a lot of women.

Either way, I wish you luck in your weight loss, and I wish you luck in dating. The only person that will hold you back is yourself. So don't think that because you "used" to be fat and the fact that you excluded yourself from life, means that you won't be wanted again.
 
VanillaCreme said:
I'm sorry, why would being fat disqualify you from dating? Did you distance yourself simply because you were fat?

Personally, I like bigger guys. So I don't really see the initial problem with you, or any guy, being over-weight. Doesn't bother me at all. In fact, it doesn't bother a lot of women.

Bless your heart,
you've made my day.

Thank you
 
I say you're never too damaged beyond repair :) ...just like broken bones, they always heal, it just takes time ^^ and besides who said you were damaged at all ? being fat, thin, short, tall , doesn't matter....I'm a girl and I honestly don't care if the guy I'm dating or have a relationship with doesn't have the physical shape that society proclaims as ideal o.<... thats utter nonsense, although being in good health is important...don't lose weight because you think it's normal and cooler to get the girl, do it to be healthier ^^

I don't think being alone for so long is gonna change anything, unless you feell uncomfotable or have insecurities like Poueff said....if so, just take it step by step ^^ and don't force yourself into a relationship till you are ready :) ....besides no one is gonna know you were alone for so long :/ I mean it's not like you walk with a sign thats says '' Warning I was a loner '' lol XP

I wish you luck :D !! And never give up and think things can't change <3 !!
 
BunnyNumber8 said:
I say you're never too damaged beyond repair :) ...just like broken bones, they always heal, it just takes time ^^ and besides who said you were damaged at all ? being fat, thin, short, tall , doesn't matter....I'm a girl and I honestly don't care if the guy I'm dating or have a relationship with doesn't have the physical shape that society proclaims as ideal o.<... thats utter nonsense, although being in good health is important...don't lose weight because you think it's normal and cooler to get the girl, do it to be healthier ^^

I don't think being alone for so long is gonna change anything, unless you feell uncomfotable or have insecurities like Poueff said....if so, just take it step by step ^^ and don't force yourself into a relationship till you are ready :) ....besides no one is gonna know you were alone for so long :/ I mean it's not like you walk with a sign thats says '' Warning I was a loner '' lol XP

I wish you luck :D !! And never give up and think things can't change <3 !!

Thank you!
So good to hear. (read)

I guess the one thing I'm afraid of is the inevitable
questions about past relationships.
And since I've been alone since the invention of the wheel,
I'm concerned that this will make her (whoever she may be)
leap from her chair and go running out the door.

I appreciate your reply
 
Well, I understand your concern because..well...I'm a 24 year old girl that has never been in a relationship lmao.....so I myself do not know how a guy would react to this, but generally they don't care, I don't think having past experiences makes any difference, people are so unique..doesnt matter how many people you've been with, you are who you are and it won't change anything....sure you can learn from past mistakes and know what to do or not to do..but deep down we all kind of know how to act and react during relationships despite having had many or none at all :D....idk if that makes any sense....my brother never had a girlfriend and he met this lovely lady 2 years ago and they got married this year, so you see, she did not care :D !!!

I honestly wouldnt care either if the guy I met was unexperienced as myself :p

I say if you like someone or are willing to know a person more, you see past silly things like that ^^
 
BunnyNumber8 said:
Well, I understand your concern because..well...I'm a 24 year old girl that has never been in a relationship lmao.....so I myself do not know how a guy would react to this, but generally they don't care, I don't think having past experiences makes any difference, people are so unique..doesnt matter how many people you've been with, you are who you are and it won't change anything....sure you can learn from past mistakes and know what to do or not to do..but deep down we all kind of know how to act and react during relationships despite having had many or none at all :D....idk if that makes any sense....my brother never had a girlfriend and he met this lovely lady 2 years ago and they got married this year, so you see, she did not care :D !!!

I honestly wouldnt care either if the guy I met was unexperienced as myself :p

I say if you like someone or are willing to know a person more, you see past silly things like that ^^

Thanks again,
Good to hear about your brother's story.

I've dated very little
Was married about a hundred years ago
but we were friends first and never dated.

 

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