Lost my gf now I got nobody(not literally)

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birdman16

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So.. I decided to join this forum to hopefully get some advice...

Anyway... so I've been with my gf for 4 years.. (ex now..) and we broke up just 3 months ago...) I had started school in September... thing is... in those 4 years.. my life has been devoted to her.. I kept close with my close friends.. but other than that.. my time has been to my things... my friends and than her...

The upsetting part is that... now that we broke up.. I feel like I don't have anyone anymore..

Even though I am in school.. all my friends are all guys.. I can't stand it.. the courses I am taking consist of only guys.. there are few girls which I talk to when I get my chance... I do talk to a few girls I work with.. but we aren't close or anything.. not anymore...

For some reason.. when I get close to a girl... were all cool and stuf... eventually they stop caring as much to talk to me... It's not like I am trying to date them.. I am trying to befriend them.. and it sucks... they just stop talking to me eventually..

Right now I feel lonely.. I want female companionship...I am greatful for the friends I had made in school but I want a close female friend.. I have a few (very few) female friends which I talk to.. but... I duno.. I just want more female friends....

What should I do?
 
Have you tried telling these girls that you just want to be their friend? When you try to get close to them, they may be misinterpreting your behavior as romantic interest; and not wanting to mislead you, they pull away.
 
Thing is.. one of the girls actually did like me...

After I found out I tried to take it down a notch with her(I didn't want to give her the impression that I liked her back) only because I still do infact have feelings for my ex...and she just stopped talking to me after...

This other girl used to be so friendly with me and text me all the time... I did the same with her.. I stopped texting back.. ect...as much... she even invited me to movies/lunches at times...

I got tons of girls in my school.. I'm talking to whoever I can... I made a few quick girl-friends but they are outside of my program.. but if I ever see em we go through a small talk and what not..
 
birdman16 said:
Thing is.. one of the girls actually did like me...

After I found out I tried to take it down a notch with her(I didn't want to give her the impression that I liked her back) only because I still do infact have feelings for my ex...and she just stopped talking to me after...

This other girl used to be so friendly with me and text me all the time... I did the same with her.. I stopped texting back.. ect...as much... she even invited me to movies/lunches at times...

The only thing I can think of is that maybe the changes in your behavior confused them.

Also, FYI: it's OK to tell a girl that likes you (or any girl) that you just want to be friends. A girl should never say to a guy that likes her 'let's be friends', but it's OK if a guy says it to a girl.

So, the next time you meet a cool girl and you seem to hit it off, you can just honestly say that you really like being friends with her; and to keep things clear, you can say that you like her like a sister. Then she knows that you can let you get close without worrying about misleading you.

 
Thanks alot..

But what can I do to get closer to them? Friend wise I mean...

I really just want a girl bestfriend... someone that I can call up and hang out when were both free or whatever..(no emotion or whatever)

I had that in highschool once.. where me and this one girl were bestfriends and all we used to do was gotto her place and play video games or watch a movie.. we had no issues about thanything... we were friends and that is all...


To be honest, there is only one girl that caught my interest.. she happens to be in my class... so I'm going for that... but thats a whole diffrent story :)
 
birdman16 said:
Thanks alot..

But what can I do to get closer to them? Friend wise I mean...

I really just want a girl bestfriend... someone that I can call up and hang out when were both free or whatever..(no emotion or whatever)

I had that in highschool once.. where me and this one girl were bestfriends and all we used to do was gotto her place and play video games or watch a movie.. we had no issues about thanything... we were friends and that is all...

When you get an opportunity to see and talk to a girl regularly like as a lab partner or in a study group and you think she's cool, as you guys interact, you can make a off-handed sounding remark like 'you're cool, I wish you were my sister' or 'you remind me of my sister'. Then, a little later, you can ask her to do stuff with you.

At some point early on to make sure she understands, you can have an honest discussion with her like your having with me on how you'd like to have a girl best friend. That's actually very flattering to women.





birdman16 said:
To be honest, there is only one girl that caught my interest.. she happens to be in my class... so I'm going for that... but thats a whole diffrent story :)

I presume you mean romantically? Go for it!
 
Give urself a break dude. 90 days is relatively overnite. Good to hear that ur in the moving forward mode...

Yeah...females are amazing lovely creatures arnt they.

Its normal what ur feeling.

Have u spent some time getting to know u? U heard it before..but still..
have you? Ur other interest aside from work. school or relaionships.Maybe that the balacne that missing from ur life..IDK
.
Mine is music. art and aviation

U'll be alright...everybody gets rusty
after they havnt hunt for a while.
Sometimes you gatta go beyound familar territory..
Try to have fun with this portion of the journey too.. Make an adventure oit of it...Its all good.

Anyhow..thats what im doing.
Dating or seeing diferent women..not rushing anythiing. It took me a while to get to this piont again after my last break up..its alright. I travel @ my own paste.
 
Same thing happened to me.
Before I was actually married
and when I was married, I was well liked by enough women
to make me feel like there wasn't a problem with me.

After my divorce it was like the females of the word had a meeting
and voted me out of the human race.

God, that hurt (and still does)

Life's cruelest irony is that being lonely
is the very thing that causes people to avoid you
 
My duaghter Jordan. Shes my hope N dreams. Long story but I havnt seen Jordan since she was a todler.
She however decided to write to me recently. She say she loves me every mucH N wished to build a relationship with me. It had brought great peace to my heart. Jordan is my only Biological child.

Btw..she got her great looks N smexyness from me. :p
Her loving N understanding nautre
from my exwf. ..Oops I mean her insanites from her mom.hahaaa
 
You guys are really awseome.. thank you all

I'm at the stage where I am talking to a few girls... I am taking it slow... but only one in particular interests me..

As for hobbies and other activities... I've been doing for boxing for 2 years and I love it... its the only thing in my life right now that I am passionate for
 
Lonesome Crow said:
My duaghter Jordan. Shes my hope N dreams. Long story but I havnt seen Jordan since she was a todler.
She however decided to write to me recently. She say she loves me every mucH N wished to build a relationship with me. It had brought great peace to my heart. Jordan is my only Biological child.

Btw..she got her great looks N smexyness from me. :p
Her loving N understanding nautre
from my exwf. ..Oops I mean her insanites from her mom.hahaaa

She's cute.
 
birdman16 said:
You guys are really awseome.. thank you all

I'm at the stage where I am talking to a few girls... I am taking it slow... but only one in particular interests me..

As for hobbies and other activities... I've been doing for boxing for 2 years and I love it ... its the only thing in my life right now that I am passionate for

GREAT TO HEAR MAN!

I personally am more into groundfighting and MMA, but boxing is fun too. Because you're a boxer, you're probably already seen by women as a hot, masculine guy, and should have no trouble replacing the chick who dumped you.

Learning how to take a punch to the face is EXTREMELY helpful in learning how to take a punch when a chick decides to dump or reject you. I'd say you are perfect material for the club scene with your fighting skills as you don't need to worry about any "Alpha Males" picking a fight with you.
 

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