Hi Phantom, welcome to the boards. I have an Uncle who is going through the same feelings as you, feeling lonely from your family. Despite what he thinks he found out he was ever so very wrong, and it took my Grandmother's funeral for him to find that out. He's been going through a rough patch lately, he lost nearly everything because of his inconsiderate crocked insurance company. He tried to sneak in to sign the guest book at the funeral but was spotted by his sisters. My two Aunt's and mother went out in the hall after him. He still kept back from the family and told my mom he didn't feel welcome. They haven't spoken in several years but put all of that aside, my mom knows exactly how he feels. She's the oldest and has never hesitated to tell her brothers and sisters what she thinks, which causes problems. My cousin made sure my mom took his dad up front to sit with the family during the service, which she did, she took him by the arm and had him sit next to her. Even with all he's going through he was reminded and everything that's happened over these past years he's still cared about by family. My family hasn't been one to get along well, we're learning but some still want to be childish. Going to my grandmother's funeral last week and seeing family members I haven't seen in years reminded me too that we're still family. No matter what there are ones that still care and think about you, even if it doesn't seem like it.
When it comes to friends that's a whole different aspect, because you can chose you friends. Not sure how old you are but there comes a time in your life when you do kind of...what's the word I'm looking for...grow apart from your friends. Your lives take different directions, marriage, children, work, it can make it harder to keep in touch with each other. Some friendships don't last forever, I have a few that I have no idea where they are now, but several I still do keep in touch with. I'm right with you thinking I don't have a friend who truly cares about me either. I know I'm wrong, it's just having ones betray you kind of do that to you. I'm also afraid to open myself up to some of them, which is my problem. I don't know if maybe that is your situation too, could be. Sometimes if we don't feel that connection we just wall ourselves off, but sometimes you never know if you don't open up. You might have a friend who is very willing to listen to you that you don't even realize. Ease yourself into it, don't just pile it all on at once, feel your friends out, see which one is willing to listen and help. It's you who feels this way about your friends and family, so you'll never know if you don't try. Sometimes people don't see what's going on inside of us, they're not psychic.
