Seriously confused about modern society females

Okay after almost a year of trying I finally got my first girlfriend! I thought I would be happy after saying that sentence to myself, but now I'm seriously confused as it's nothing I thought it was. I don't know if I just understood girls wrong or what but my girlfriend is nothing at all like I thought she would be.

It started off with her just jumping right in and asking me if I wanted to date her right away. She had only seen one picture of me and other than that knows absolutely nothing of me. Then, the exact same day she started dating me, she starts saying she loves me! Honestly I don't think she knows who she loves. Then I got yelled at a little by her wierd little sister for not saying it back. I don't want to say something I don't mean to her (I don't like to lie, especially to my girlfriend. Not the best way to start a relationship!) but eventually I forced myself to say it back in hopes that maybe I can berid myself of the guilt at some point. She texts me often, but she has nothing to say at all!! She wants me to call her every hour of the day, so I unfortunately had to lie to her and tell her that I don't have the money to be talking too long over the phone. She wasn't too happy about that.

I want to live my life but she has other plans. All the time she wants me to talk to her about nothing. ABSOLUTELY NOTHING!!!! When she calls I notice that I actually end up talking to her crazy sister (who's basically a 5 year old annoying little girl) more than my girlfriend because her sister never wants to shut up for 5 minutes and let me talk to her. I don't want to make an ass of myself by asking to talk with my girlfriend, that would seem rather rude of me. And even if I do get to talk with her she has nothing to say as usual. She doesn't tell me anything about herself (partially my fault because I think it's kinda out-of-line to ask) and shows little emotion to me. The only thing I know about her is that she likes to skate (roller skates not skateboard) which doesn't help at all because personally I despise skating. Not to mention she laughs too much, whereas I don't even really have a sense of humor so I tend to kill any possible happy moments. Why do girls laugh about everything? I mean seriously!

The worst part of it all is that she has no idea that I'm possibly one of my county's biggest nerds and therefor may be seriously rejected by her because of it. She has no idea who she's dating and she's being too clingy, but I don't want to wreck my only hope of getting a real relationship going by telling her exactly who she's dating. But at the same time she doesn't even bother to ask anything about me so I wonder if she just likes me because I look good or something. She did say that my picture was "sexy". I don't know what to do with her. Does anyone have a suggestion as to how I decode her? I don't want to keep telling her I love her if I really don't!!! (Oh and by the way, I live a bit of a ways away from her so physical contact might seem unlikely)

By your description,she seems like a girl who's,hum,a little desperate. Not to downgrade anything you did,but I think it's true. That or she's blindly following what a "modern girlfriend" model is. By that,I mean,say she loves her boyfriend without even knowing the ******,the same goes for make-ups and stuff like that,they always say they love each other without meaning it. It totally ruins the meaning of the word and what it truly means,that's the reason I never said I loved someone since I realized what it actually meant.

Anyways,you seem like a guy who's only dating her because of the stereotipe that alone = fail at life. Also,you don't seem into her in any way shape or form,so that basicly answers my question in the other thread that I should be alone or having a gf just for the hell of it without liking her.

And you're downgrading yourself,alot. She seems to be just another girl with a plastic personality and plastic viewing of the world. She seems like the type of girl I despise.

And you seem like a smart guy with lots of personality who is having a gf who he doesn't like just for the hell of having one. Look at yourself pal,look at what you know (like when you didn't said you love her because you didn't... I respect that,a lot),look at everything. Don't label yourself as a "nerd". If you have the confidence to do it,then you'll have a gf anyways,and one time it can actually be someone you really like.

Poueff said:

By your description,she seems like a girl who's,hum,a little desperate. Not to downgrade anything you did,but I think it's true. That or she's blindly following what a "modern girlfriend" model is. By that,I mean,say she loves her boyfriend without even knowing the ******,the same goes for make-ups and stuff like that,they always say they love each other without meaning it. It totally ruins the meaning of the word and what it truly means,that's the reason I never said I loved someone since I realized what it actually meant.

Anyways,you seem like a guy who's only dating her because of the stereotipe that alone = fail at life. Also,you don't seem into her in any way shape or form,so that basicly answers my question in the other thread that I should be alone or having a gf just for the hell of it without liking her.

And you're downgrading yourself,alot. She seems to be just another girl with a plastic personality and plastic viewing of the world. She seems like the type of girl I despise.

And you seem like a smart guy with lots of personality who is having a gf who he doesn't like just for the hell of having one. Look at yourself pal,look at what you know (like when you didn't said you love her because you didn't... I respect that,a lot),look at everything. Don't label yourself as a "nerd". If you have the confidence to do it,then you'll have a gf anyways,and one time it can actually be someone you really like.

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Do you think that I should at least try seeing if there's any common ground between us at least before I say goodbye? I feel like I haven't really tried yet so for all i know I could be missing out on my dream girl. Think I should try digging a little deeper?

Nghtrain36 said:

Poueff said:

By your description,she seems like a girl who's,hum,a little desperate. Not to downgrade anything you did,but I think it's true. That or she's blindly following what a "modern girlfriend" model is. By that,I mean,say she loves her boyfriend without even knowing the ******,the same goes for make-ups and stuff like that,they always say they love each other without meaning it. It totally ruins the meaning of the word and what it truly means,that's the reason I never said I loved someone since I realized what it actually meant.

Anyways,you seem like a guy who's only dating her because of the stereotipe that alone = fail at life. Also,you don't seem into her in any way shape or form,so that basicly answers my question in the other thread that I should be alone or having a gf just for the hell of it without liking her.

And you're downgrading yourself,alot. She seems to be just another girl with a plastic personality and plastic viewing of the world. She seems like the type of girl I despise.

And you seem like a smart guy with lots of personality who is having a gf who he doesn't like just for the hell of having one. Look at yourself pal,look at what you know (like when you didn't said you love her because you didn't... I respect that,a lot),look at everything. Don't label yourself as a "nerd". If you have the confidence to do it,then you'll have a gf anyways,and one time it can actually be someone you really like.

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Do you think that I should at least try seeing if there's any common ground between us at least before I say goodbye? I feel like I haven't really tried yet so for all i know I could be missing out on my dream girl. Think I should try digging a little deeper?

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Who told you to say goodbye? Don't. Dig in deeper and try to find some personality,that'd be my advice. I don't know the girl,but by your description,she's just as void of it as most of the girls I know.

It's just my opinion,though

Well thanks for the advice. I'll try to see if maybe we can get to know each other a little better. At least it'll be a challenge right? Again thanks for the advice!

a little desperate

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I don't mean this as a direct shot at you, but do you think maybe the two of you are both feeling a little bit desperate for a relationship? To me, it sounds like you're really not into her, & you don't know anything about each other. Is it even possible she actually loves you? I'm sure you've asked yourself this, & I'm also sure you know the answer. She sounds very young, naive, a little immature. You sound like you know a little more than she does about how a relationship should progress, if you're actually interested in the relationship, & not the idea of one. You also seem like you know that this isn't what you actually want. It's not about all girls, it's about this girl. & this girl isn't for you. I think you pretty much said it yourself.

Poueff's the man. He's got all sorts of pretty girls after him.

Mary Mary said:

Poueff's the man. He's got all sorts of pretty girls after him.

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No,I don't. Why would you presume that?

Poueff said:

Mary Mary said:

Poueff's the man. He's got all sorts of pretty girls after him.

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No,I don't. Why would you presume that?

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Weren't you the one who was asking what to do about the girls that kept hanging around you? Whatever happened to that?

you don't "understand" women.

they are beyond understanding because they operate on emotion. you, as a man, do not. you operate on logic.

two different worlds.

you can never understand women. you can either deal with them or not.

...

which is why i am sitting alone, eating cereal, on a friday night.

Sounds like she's in love with the idea of being in love.

Tigershark said:

a little desperate

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I don't mean this as a direct shot at you, but do you think maybe the two of you are both feeling a little bit desperate for a relationship? To me, it sounds like you're really not into her, & you don't know anything about each other. Is it even possible she actually loves you? I'm sure you've asked yourself this, & I'm also sure you know the answer. She sounds very young, naive, a little immature. You sound like you know a little more than she does about how a relationship should progress, if you're actually interested in the relationship, & not the idea of one. You also seem like you know that this isn't what you actually want. It's not about all girls, it's about this girl. & this girl isn't for you. I think you pretty much said it yourself.

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You know, I really thought that I didn't understand anything about relationships but now you've clarified that I somewhat do! Yay! Well really I think that I might not be exactly what she was looking for so I might just move on if things don't seem to clear up. I am a little desperate but at the same time it can't really be helped too much. You go 16 years with no female contact and see what it does lol! I thought I was wrong but I guess I'm right...

davyjones said:

you don't "understand" women.

they are beyond understanding because they operate on emotion. you, as a man, do not. you operate on logic.

two different worlds.

you can never understand women. you can either deal with them or not.

...

which is why i am sitting alone, eating cereal, on a friday night.

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Liar! Men do not. You are more linear in how you operate but not necessarily more logical.

You can actually understand women, but the reality very politically incorrect; so it's not discussed much.

The reason why I'm passionate about getting nice guys to listen to what I'm saying is because I'm just telling you the secrets that players know and use.

People tend to tell nice guys just to be themselves. Why?! That puts all the powers of seduction in the hands of the players. I would think giving the nice guys knowledge to level the playing field for themselves will only make us more accessible to you. That's a win-win for the both of us! It's only a disadvantage for the players, but who cares about them?

davyjones said:

you don't "understand" women.

they are beyond understanding because they operate on emotion. you, as a man, do not. you operate on logic.

two different worlds.

you can never understand women. you can either deal with them or not.

...

which is why i am sitting alone, eating cereal, on a friday night.

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I suppose that's one way of looking at it. It's logical enough......

Well someone will eventually figure it out at one point. Sadly I'm not that someone.

Nghtrain36 said:

davyjones said:

you don't "understand" women.

they are beyond understanding because they operate on emotion. you, as a man, do not. you operate on logic.

two different worlds.

you can never understand women. you can either deal with them or not.

...

which is why i am sitting alone, eating cereal, on a friday night.

Click to expand...

I suppose that's one way of looking at it. It's logical enough......

Well someone will eventually figure it out at one point. Sadly I'm not that someone.

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They have

oh, i understand. trust me.

about as much as i understand a tornado.

we can "understand" a tornado, and have a generally good idea of how they operate.

however,

you still have no idea WTF is going to happen when you live through one. the roof might come off of your house one time and then off of your neighbor's the next. still a serious level of unpredictability.

Mary Mary said:

Poueff said:

Mary Mary said:

Poueff's the man. He's got all sorts of pretty girls after him.

Click to expand...

No,I don't. Why would you presume that?

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Weren't you the one who was asking what to do about the girls that kept hanging around you? Whatever happened to that?

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I have two girls that like me,but their personality is the plastic model I mentioned,so even though they're pretty,they don't have a bit. (that was my quesion in the other thread,if I'd date one of them just for the hell of it or stay alone)

Btw,nghtrain,how old are you? If this is your first romantic contact with someone,then try to "gain some experience" with it.

davyjones said:

oh, i understand. trust me.

about as much as i understand a tornado.

we can "understand" a tornado, and have a generally good idea of how they operate.

however,

you still have no idea WTF is going to happen when you live through one. the roof might come off of your house one time and then off of your neighbor's the next. still a serious level of unpredictability.

Click to expand...

That might be your experience when you relate to women, but there are men who understand women quite well and use it to their advantage.

Mary Mary said:

davyjones said:

oh, i understand. trust me.

about as much as i understand a tornado.

we can "understand" a tornado, and have a generally good idea of how they operate.

however,

you still have no idea WTF is going to happen when you live through one. the roof might come off of your house one time and then off of your neighbor's the next. still a serious level of unpredictability.

Click to expand...

That might be your experience when you relate to women, but there are men who understand women quite well and use it to their advantage.

Click to expand...

dont' get me wrong. i could be a pickup artist, i'm not naive. i've dabbled in the mannerisms and had girls giggle and squirm in my presence. it's just contrived to me.

davyjones said:

Mary Mary said:

davyjones said:

oh, i understand. trust me.

about as much as i understand a tornado.

we can "understand" a tornado, and have a generally good idea of how they operate.

however,

you still have no idea WTF is going to happen when you live through one. the roof might come off of your house one time and then off of your neighbor's the next. still a serious level of unpredictability.

Click to expand...

That might be your experience when you relate to women, but there are men who understand women quite well and use it to their advantage.

Click to expand...

dont' get me wrong. i could be a pickup artist, i'm not naive. i've dabbled in the mannerisms and had girls giggle and squirm in my presence. it's just contrived to me.

Click to expand...

Let me understand this. You know what it takes to pick women up but you don't do it because it feels contrived. Uh-huh.

Anyway, I believe that sexual attraction is governed by largely subconscious fairly unevolved processes that were useful in caveman days but are of less value for a highly industrialized society. However, men never lost awareness of parts of these processes in themselves. How a woman looks plays a large role in what attracts a man to a woman. It's very superficial and silly; but it's a part of who you are, and we've all known it for centuries and just accept it.

However, for some reason, women lost awareness of what governs their sexual attraction in men. My guess is this is because much of what attracts us also has a pragmatic aspect, so it was easy to intellectualize why we were attracted to someone.

This is why you see the strange disconnect in what women say they want and what they actually want. What they tell you is what they want in a relationship, but it's not what they want in terms of sexual attraction.

Remember, what governs sexual attraction in us are involuntary, unevolved processes. That's why catering to it feels superficial and contrived because it is. Just like catering to a man's need for attractive women is contrived.

So, you can either take the path of enlightenment and not cater to these superficial processes, which as value, but you're dating pool is going to be limited; or you can accept this about ourselves and adopt as many alpha male traits as possible and expand your dating pool just as a woman who improves her looks will expand her dating pool. You can also choose the middle road.