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MisterD

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to help me out....from let say 20- 30 yrs of age... im such a loser loser of all losers! if you guys can help il tell you a stupid story...
 
Ok il tell you guys the story.. im a moron. theres this girl on the net I really like alot thought shes a bf already but still like her much, we chat lots of times and we met on IMVU if you guys know this 3d messenger chat thing. anyways i did something stupid...... i created another account so i can chat to her and try to know somethings if shes lying to me or not... i didnt really think of the plan on how i go about doing it, in the end she got suspisious about my other account and i dunno how she got my IP address but she did and she knew that it was the same ip address i was using so now shes convince that it was me... she told me why im doing it, of course i made her upset and really upset.. i said i was sorry but my reason to her is that the other account that was talking to her was actually my cuzin who i told him to chat to her. of course shes still not convince though i know its pretty obvious it was me... i know its stupid.. selfish.. and Im not gonna do it anymore. but can anyone help me to prove to her that it was actually a different person.. i dont want her to think less of me.. i know im still lying but im as down as i can be right now...im feeling miserable i just wanna convince her thats it is actually a different person who was talking to her and not me.. its selfish but if proove this to her.. i wouldnt do anything as stupid as this again......or if u guys have any idea how i will look not as degrading to her.. please let me know. im stupid im an ass ... but did it coz.. im jealous.. thank you. please dont tell me im stupid and all that i already know that.its childish...
 
Wow, thats not a good situation man.
Well, you probably saw this answer coming...
Own up to it... she figured it out already and caught you in one lie... if you keep the lies rolling your just gonna make it worse. Be creative and very thoughtful, but be honest and tell her the truth... getting caught in a lie sucks... getting caught in multiple lies only makes it worse.

Plus, something I had heard before, either on this forum or from a friend or something was this:

If you get into a relationship with her, you will respect her less because you know you can trick her and make her believe your lies... this will only make the relationship self-destructive.

I don't personally know your reasons, but lets say if you wanted to know things about her were true because you don't want to be hurt you could tell her that you did make another account to see that she was being honest but it's because you were afraid that maybe she was just leading you on, and didn't want to be hurt but that you never intended to hurt her in the process. I really don't know man... honesty is very important and lying to cover up more lies won't make things better... only you know your reasons, the girl, and your heart... open up to her and be honest... if that alone is not enough for her, then nothing you could have done would have repaired the damage.

You could always search out some gifts to send her IMVU account... flowers are a good make up thing... maybe some new clothes for her toon... some new stuff for her house... a pet maybe, they're getting popular... something that you know she'll like... I'm not sure tho... there's always the chance she'll think you're just coming on too strong then... wow that's a rough situation man... maybe put in your title I NEED A GIRL TO HELP ME OUT... girls could probably do a better job with this one.

----------
Oh, and best of luck with it... let me know how it turns out
 
I'm from Australia, Melbourne actually. I'd like to help you but I might stuff it up and make matters worse lol.:) and way past the age of 30.
 
Personally I'd just use a proxy server in Australia and pretend I'm from Australia. Also you may wish to type is a different manner when supposedly typing as someone else. You don't capitalize your I's and you improperly shorten many common words "coz" instead of "because" etc. Not everyone does this...
 
MisterD said:
to help me out....from let say 20- 30 yrs of age... im such a loser loser of all losers! if you guys can help il tell you a stupid story...
m i the only 1 who cant figure out y hes got to be australian and 20-30 years old?? i read this like 8 times some1 give me a clue LoL
 
Lost in the Oilfield said:
Wow, thats not a good situation man.
Well, you probably saw this answer coming...
Own up to it... she figured it out already and caught you in one lie... if you keep the lies rolling your just gonna make it worse. Be creative and very ........

Thanks for digging my story man your comment really is something. ya im still not giving up my defence that it was a friend of mine we still talk though, but i feel really stupid and childish and everything. shes kinda like patronizing me or something tellin me like "i know its degrading to admit to what u did" or something like that oh man.
 
NewBirth said:
MisterD said:
to help me out....from let say 20- 30 yrs of age... im such a loser loser of all losers! if you guys can help il tell you a stupid story...
m i the only 1 who cant figure out y hes got to be australian and 20-30 years old?? i read this like 8 times some1 give me a clue LoL

oh yea il explain, hes got to be australian coz my IP adress obviously is an IP address for australia, hes got to be like 20 to 30 or something coz i dont think anyone older would actually be helping me spy on her, older guys tend to be goody goody and so righteous. younger guys will have a higher percentage to fail coz younger peeps normally are immature.

and yea i added if there isnt anyone that can help me just give me an advice to kinda lighten up my sin or make the girl thnk that im not such a loser after all :)
 
Whoaisme said:
Personally I'd just use a proxy server in Australia and pretend I'm from Australia. Also you may wish to type is a different manner when supposedly typing as someone else. You don't capitalize your I's and you improperly shorten many common words "coz" instead of "because" etc. Not everyone does this...

believe me i tried to be as different as possible the way i talk to her its just that **** IP address that caught me in the act. i could use my broadband connection for the first computer for my original account and for the other one i can use dial up so it will be like different IP altogether. its costly though .
 
Good comments Lost!

Mister D....if your goal is to just have a girl to chat with, this won't be going very far anway, because she has doubts of your trustworthiness. If your goal is to build a lasting relationship with this girl, you're insulting her intelligence by pretending, and not giving her a chance to show you her ability, or lack of, forgiveness. If she's still talking to you, then she's still interested, just unhappy and not trusting, but apparently she wants to be. A simple I'm sorry, you're right. I've been hurt before, and didn't trust myself to open up to someone, I know it wasn't fair to you, but I care for you, enough that I need you to know that I was wrong.... Give her a chance.
 
MisterD said:
NewBirth said:
MisterD said:
to help me out....from let say 20- 30 yrs of age... im such a loser loser of all losers! if you guys can help il tell you a stupid story...
m i the only 1 who cant figure out y hes got to be australian and 20-30 years old?? i read this like 8 times some1 give me a clue LoL

oh yea il explain, hes got to be australian coz my IP adress obviously is an IP address for australia, hes got to be like 20 to 30 or something coz i dont think anyone older would actually be helping me spy on her, older guys tend to be goody goody and so righteous. younger guys will have a higher percentage to fail coz younger peeps normally are immature.

and yea i added if there isnt anyone that can help me just give me an advice to kinda lighten up my sin or make the girl thnk that im not such a loser after all :)
oooooh okay LoL now i get it thanx 4 xplaining
my advice is 2 just dump the girl sorry but if u lose trust in the beginning ur usually shot with women just my xperience
theres also another way 2 look at this 2..... if she tolerates this crap shes got a low self esteem & do u really want a chick like that?
ok if u do then fine Lmao just warning u cuz theres alot of trouble that comes from being with a woman who does
 
MisterD said:
NewBirth said:
MisterD said:
to help me out....from let say 20- 30 yrs of age... im such a loser loser of all losers! if you guys can help il tell you a stupid story...
m i the only 1 who cant figure out y hes got to be australian and 20-30 years old?? i read this like 8 times some1 give me a clue LoL

oh yea il explain, hes got to be australian coz my IP adress obviously is an IP address for australia, hes got to be like 20 to 30 or something coz i dont think anyone older would actually be helping me spy on her, older guys tend to be goody goody and so righteous. younger guys will have a higher percentage to fail coz younger peeps normally are immature.

and yea i added if there isnt anyone that can help me just give me an advice to kinda lighten up my sin or make the girl thnk that im not such a loser after all :)
I don't know about older guys being all goody goody and so righteous, maybe a bit more mature and wouldn't get themselves in to that situation in the first place.
 
yep exactly blue sky :) or something like that. if ask like a 35 yrs old to help me out to spy on someone theyll probably tell me its wrong and all that ,and i know that already. but yeah. il tell you guys how it turn out pretty soon! thanks for the comments and everything!
 
teach thats an awesome advice too.

its either just accept the fact that she caught u red handed and admit to it and just be sorry and feel really shitty. BUT!!!

as personality wise EGO and PRIDE is a part of me... and accepting the humiliation and be degraded for things i did wrong..is hard. my PRIDE and EGO is my only defence against hurtful people.. its either to accept defeat or make matter lighter which i would likely go for the 2nd one.as bad as it may sound I CANNOT go to the righteous direction tho i know thats its the right thing to do. she is a very smart girl she knows alots of stuff she can argue with me all night long about her point and still wudnt be able to break her. and knowing that.. to me its like WAR if i admit to it.. i will be inferior to her.. the fact that shes still talking to me which i really dont know why.. coz ever since we met in person she really has lots to say about stuff! which i really dont know of. and when she asked me about those stuff im just completely lost. but i always stand my ground and act like i know things too but i dont.

my point is if i admit to it and accept that i lost and of course i know its wrong , i would really be in shame and would feel really shitty than i was already even before the incident. and the result she will think less of me, and how stupid i was to get caught, another points for her being smart and all that...it crashes my ego , pride and me. in the end we will be finished. I dont know if u understand where im coming from..

has anyone actually felt that they have to stand on something they need to do regardless whether its wrong or right to fix a lie as bad as it may sound but considering never doing anything like that again?
 
MisterD said:
shes kinda like patronizing me or something tellin me like "i know its degrading to admit to what u did" or something like that oh man.

What I have to say is not intended to be a lecture or offensive, but I truly believe you only have one option here.

Sounds very much to me like she knows you're lying. She's not a stupid girl. You're just embarassing yourself more by keeping the illusion going. Everyone does stupid things sometimes but you're lucky this time because she's giving you an escape route by saying she knows it's degrading to admit to it. It's right there for you to take and I think you should.

What happens if you don't give it up? Say you get someone to pretend to be your cousin, what then? Do you forever have to keep making false references to this fake cousin?

I have had a guy lie to me and refuse to admit it, even when I told him I understood and we could work past it. When the truth finally came out he was so ashamed, and the damage that did to his ego was far worse than anything he would have felt if he had just been straight with me in the beginning. I lost all of the respect I had had for him and haven't talked to him since. The thing is, I knew he was lying all along and was just waiting for my confirmation, and it sounds like this girl is doing the same.

My point is, if she finds out later on she's going to hate you.

You have trust issues both ways as well. You went behind her back because you didn't trust her and wanted to see if she was lying to you. And now she's caught you in a lie you won't confess to. AND she already has a boyfriend who I assume doesn't know about you. Correct me if I'm wrong here btw. How will you ever trust a girl who you already know is dishonest to someone she's in a relationship with?

She knows. Women always know.
 
Mister D,
I think what you wrote here is your problem or issue....communication and relations with anyone is not a war. It doesn't make you inferior to admit a mistake. It shows you have the strength and courage to allow yourself to be wrong. Playing like this is a war, a battle to win...you've already lost. You're showing her you are inferior if you aren't able to admit mistakes. How is that successful? What's the prize? To admit mistakes, your prize is being able to be proud of your character, to actually have character.


MisterD said:
to me its like WAR if i admit to it.. i will be inferior to her..
 
Wow, best answer i think i had so far, BUT still not quite there yet.

Im afraid as bad as it sounds, this is the only way, if u only knew our situation wer in right now Morality is not a question here. Thats why i didnt ask for an advice wether i should just admit it or not. Im simply needing advice for how i can make my mistake lighter but STILL my defence to her stands( that its my cuz/friend that was actually talking to her) OR get someone to pretend to be my cuz or friend.

I guess i need to explain our rel for u guys to really understand to STRAIGTEN up FOR ME is not an option. Im a very rational person, everyone lies, and that said LYING itself is bad, but there are LIES that isnt hurtful, it can be stored for forever without even told (believe me or not) and still make everyone happy thats why theres thing called white lies.

And we all know she has BF already that thing there is ONE big lie shes doing with him already. Even I dont approve to that but still. What Im doing now isnt gonna hurt her, unless she founds out about it the second time but im not afraid wether she dont talk to me anymore CAUSE SHES NOT MINE to begin with, im already over before we even begin, and we are like 3000 miles away from each other, the percentage of her finding it out is so little to nil!

i know most of u guys will be against this, and im okei with that coz i havent really told u the story of where we stand.

i ope u guys will try to understand this is about me, not feeling crappy and shitty, and doing this if succeeded wouldnt EVEN HURT HER or MAKE HER LOOK STUPID, coz i know for the fact her finding it out herself in the first time given her credit for being so smart. THIs is just between the 2 of us. I know how smart she is, kind and can be hurtful sometimes and this i need to do. A lie like this isnt a big deal considering our messed up rel right now.

Anyways thanks for the comments guys :)
diamond-dancer said:
MisterD said:
shes kinda like patronizing me or something tellin me like "i know its degrading to admit to what u did" or something like that oh man.

What I have to say is not intended to be a lecture or offensive, but I truly believe you only have one option here.
.......
 
Thanx for that. sorry im a tough one to teach, the 2 of us are complicated people we both have no direction to where our relationship is gonna lead. we both have messed up character and OPEN to any possbilities and thats why we are attracted to each other. its really crazy :)

teach said:
Mister D,
I think what you wrote here is your problem or issue....communication and relations with anyone is not a war. It doesn't make you inferior to admit a mistake. It shows you have the strength and courage to allow yourself to be wrong. Playing like this is a war, a battle to win...you've already lost. You're showing her you are inferior if you aren't able to admit mistakes. How is that successful? What's the prize? To admit mistakes, your prize is being able to be proud of your character, to actually have character.


MisterD said:
to me its like WAR if i admit to it.. i will be inferior to her..
 
No need to be sorry about being honest with us about your actual situation. (Unless this too is a "white" lie) :)
Basically, you don't really need our help, except to play in this game you two are playing with each other. I'm not sure you'll find anyone here who will join you in this, but I could be wrong. It's not a relationship, in the way would be deemed a typical relationship. You guys are just doing a typical online game/flirtation, fun until one of you tire of it.


MisterD said:
Wow, best answer i think i had so far, BUT still not quite there yet.

Im afraid as bad as it sounds, this is the only way, if u only knew our situation wer in right now Morality is not a question here. Thats why i didnt ask for an advice wether i should just admit it or not. Im simply needing advice for how i can make my mistake lighter but STILL my defence to her stands( that its my cuz/friend that was actually talking to her) OR get someone to pretend to be my cuz or friend.

I guess i need to explain our rel for u guys to really understand to STRAIGTEN up FOR ME is not an option. Im a very rational person, everyone lies, and that said LYING itself is bad, but there are LIES that isnt hurtful, it can be stored for forever without even told (believe me or not) and still make everyone happy thats why theres thing called white lies.

And we all know she has BF already that thing there is ONE big lie shes doing with him already. Even I dont approve to that but still. What Im doing now isnt gonna hurt her, unless she founds out about it the second time but im not afraid wether she dont talk to me anymore CAUSE SHES NOT MINE to begin with, im already over before we even begin, and we are like 3000 miles away from each other, the percentage of her finding it out is so little to nil!

i know most of u guys will be against this, and im okei with that coz i havent really told u the story of where we stand.

i ope u guys will try to understand this is about me, not feeling crappy and shitty, and doing this if succeeded wouldnt EVEN HURT HER or MAKE HER LOOK STUPID, coz i know for the fact her finding it out herself in the first time given her credit for being so smart. THIs is just between the 2 of us. I know how smart she is, kind and can be hurtful sometimes and this i need to do. A lie like this isnt a big deal considering our messed up rel right now.

Anyways thanks for the comments guys :)
diamond-dancer said:
MisterD said:
shes kinda like patronizing me or something tellin me like "i know its degrading to admit to what u did" or something like that oh man.

What I have to say is not intended to be a lecture or offensive, but I truly believe you only have one option here.
.......
 
Teach,
Yes I guess its been too long now that she already forgotten what i did considering until now shes still talking to me and wer still "flirting". Yea u can say that i guess that this is just sort of a internet thing we have, but for me its alot deeper than that. We already met in person, and planned to make another trip in the future and so on. I guess our rel isnt normal, but il tell you guys all about it in a different post. It alittle interesting a such u will like it im sure:)

Anyways thank you guys for the comment. Esp. Teach.
 

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