Facing the facts

I've read a lot of interesting posts this morning but some simple facts have to be faced. If you've had a bad childhood, be glad it's over and you now have a chance to move forward and fix what your folks, family members and other people screwed up. Go to therapy and get medications if you're depressed or have other treatable problems. if you can't afford it then walk into an emergency room or local psych. center. They HAVE to help you.

Don't sit around and whine about what happened yesterday, work on fixing today.

If you've had a bunch of bad relationships, don't keep blaming the other people. Take an honest look at yourself. If you're always looking to blame someone else for what you keep screwing up, you'll never find a good relationship, cause you'll just screw it up. If you want a good partner or friend learn to be one yourself.

If you're shy and stand in a corner looking all sad and miserable, you have to know that happy people will walk right on by. I never bother with people who are all glum and depressed acting. Most of the time they're a real downer to try and deal with. If a person is serious and quiet, but I see they are trying to fit in then I'll be nice and give them a chance.

If you think you're ugly then either try to fix it and if that is impossible work on making your personality as good as possible. A good personality is worth more than "just" a pretty face anyday. Sure there are people who only look for good looks but a lot of other people judge you on how much fun you are just to hang out with.

Getting drunk and high all the time only makes you appealing to other duggies and drunks. If you want a better grade of friends make yourself a better grade of human.

If you think you're worthless, you'll convince others you really are. Find what's good about you and work on improving it. It's not societies fault or your parents, ex-partners or anyone else fault that your life sucks. It's YOUR fault. Face it and change what you're doing.

For all the people who don't trust anyone, don't. Just fix and live your own life. Once you can trust yourself other people don't matter that much because they aren't responsible for making you happy. Make yourself happy.

I read where people say, if I only had a gf/bf, I'd be happy. You need tofigure out how to be happy first and then you'll find another person who wants to be around you. Be happy about the simple things. Can you walk, talk, and think? Hey you're way ahead of all the people who can't do that stuff. Be happy for what you do have and stop pouting about what you don't have.

More money wont help either. If you're a miserable poor person chances are you'd be a miserable rich person too.

It's all in your attitudes. If you need help find it, and follow what they tell you to do.

No one ever fixed their world or figured out how by sitting in a room, alone, playing video games and sulking. Get out and practice smiling. Practice being polite and nice yourself. No one owes anyone anything. We earn what we have and we have to work for the things we enjoy. Be it with exercise or just working at being a decent person.

Try to remember that if more than two people have told you your a lousy person to be around, it isn't a problem with society or the people, it's a problem with YOU and only YOU can solve the problems.

Sometimes honesty in small doses is the best idea, Aberlee.

Think about honestly like an antibiotic. It is inherently good, and administered properly in the right settings, at the right times, and in the right dosages, it will surely cure the sufferer. However, if the entire bottle is forced down someone's throat, they will surely become violently ill or maybe even die.

Something for you to ponder since you've left us with so much to ponder this morning.

Aberlee said:

I've read a lot of interesting posts this morning but some simple facts have to be faced. If you've had a bad childhood, be glad it's over and you now have a chance to move forward and fix what your folks, family members and other people screwed up. Go to therapy and get medications if you're depressed or have other treatable problems. if you can't afford it then walk into an emergency room or local psych. center. They HAVE to help you.

Don't sit around and whine about what happened yesterday, work on fixing today.

If you've had a bunch of bad relationships, don't keep blaming the other people. Take an honest look at yourself. If you're always looking to blame someone else for what you keep screwing up, you'll never find a good relationship, cause you'll just screw it up. If you want a good partner or friend learn to be one yourself.

If you're shy and stand in a corner looking all sad and miserable, you have to know that happy people will walk right on by. I never bother with people who are all glum and depressed acting. Most of the time they're a real downer to try and deal with. If a person is serious and quiet, but I see they are trying to fit in then I'll be nice and give them a chance.

If you think you're ugly then either try to fix it and if that is impossible work on making your personality as good as possible. A good personality is worth more than "just" a pretty face anyday. Sure there are people who only look for good looks but a lot of other people judge you on how much fun you are just to hang out with.

Getting drunk and high all the time only makes you appealing to other duggies and drunks. If you want a better grade of friends make yourself a better grade of human.

If you think you're worthless, you'll convince others you really are. Find what's good about you and work on improving it. It's not societies fault or your parents, ex-partners or anyone else fault that your life sucks. It's YOUR fault. Face it and change what you're doing.

For all the people who don't trust anyone, don't. Just fix and live your own life. Once you can trust yourself other people don't matter that much because they aren't responsible for making you happy. Make yourself happy.

I read where people say, if I only had a gf/bf, I'd be happy. You need tofigure out how to be happy first and then you'll find another person who wants to be around you. Be happy about the simple things. Can you walk, talk, and think? Hey you're way ahead of all the people who can't do that stuff. Be happy for what you do have and stop pouting about what you don't have.

More money wont help either. If you're a miserable poor person chances are you'd be a miserable rich person too.

It's all in your attitudes. If you need help find it, and follow what they tell you to do.

No one ever fixed their world or figured out how by sitting in a room, alone, playing video games and sulking. Get out and practice smiling. Practice being polite and nice yourself. No one owes anyone anything. We earn what we have and we have to work for the things we enjoy. Be it with exercise or just working at being a decent person.

Try to remember that if more than two people have told you your a lousy person to be around, it isn't a problem with society or the people, it's a problem with YOU and only YOU can solve the problems.

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I don't have the time to spoon feed facts to anyone. If what I said could make someone violently ill or maybe kill them, they were screwed to start with. Everybody has the choice to read it or not to and then they have the choice to see the sense in it or not.

Thanks for sharing.

Aberlee said:

I don't have the time to spoon feed facts to anyone. If what I said could make someone violently ill or maybe kill them, they were screwed to start with. Everybody has the choice to read it or not to and then they have the choice to see the sense in it or not.

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So true Aberlee. Guess its easier said than done. But its a great philosophy to take actions to improve the things we dont like about our lives.
Thanks for the post

Thank you both.

Face everything and recover.

I like ur post. Hopefully It get bump
from time to time..

here are some living tools thats help me.

learn how to live in faiure..in other words..we r all in constant correction.
A sail boat dosnt make a straight path. It travels in a zigzag and constaly adjust its sail.
Stop beating yourself for making mistakes. The more mistake you make the more success you will have.

Learn how to look down @ ur challeges. Dont make a montian out of a mole hill...its small stuff..Its all small stuff.

Take baby step...if you look @ all problems and try to tackle them all..
its wear you out or it might seem so big to you...you want even begin...
Take Actions..even if its the wrong actions...youll adjust overtime.

Freewill dosnt require that you make
good decisision or act right all the time. IF you want to do wrong..Do wrong...Screw fucken guilt..
Doing wrong N feeling guilty is too much fucken work...

Stay afloat or on top..dont let life get into ur ship or sink in it.

Lonesome Crow said:

Face everything and recover.

I like ur post. Hopefully It get bump
from time to time..

here are some living tools thats help me.

learn how to live in faiure..in other words..we r all in constant correction.
A sail boat dosnt make a straight path. It travels in a zigzag and constaly adjust its sail.
Stop beating yourself for making mistakes. The more mistake you make the more success you will have.

Learn how to look down @ ur challeges. Dont make a montian out of a mole hill...its small stuff..Its all small stuff.

Take baby step...if you look @ all problems and try to tackle them all..
its wear you out or it might seem so big to you...you want even begin...
Take Actions..even if its the wrong actions...youll adjust overtime.

Freewill dosnt require that you make
good decisision or act right all the time. IF you want to do wrong..Do wrong...Screw fucken guilt..
Doing wrong N feeling guilty is too much fucken work...

Stay afloat or on top..dont let life get into ur ship or sink in it.

Click to expand...

Thanks, I like your views too.

I CAN READ INSTRUCTIONS WHETHER IT BE ESPECIFICS OR GENERAL TO DO A TASK OR PUT THINGS TOGETHER...

BUT IF I DONT HAVE THE TOOLS OR PROPER TOOLS. ITS PIONTLESS OR I MA THROW A FUCKEN MONKEY WRENCH INTO EVERYTHING

The right tools are a big help. can't start a fire with a garden hose after all.

Aberlee said:

I don't have the time to spoon feed facts to anyone. If what I said could make someone violently ill or maybe kill them, they were screwed to start with. Everybody has the choice to read it or not to and then they have the choice to see the sense in it or not.

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Well thanks for saying people are screwed to start with. I think if you are mentally ill that it has taken you a long time to get to where you are in the first place. I think your post was helpful, but your attitude isnt.

The term you use "spoon-feeding" is a pejorative one. What if the mentally ill person has no idea how to fix their bad feelings? What if they keep failing (that'll really bring down morale)? what if they have no idea who they want to be? What if they don't know who they want to be because they've never been who they've wanted to be or haven't experienced having great self esteem? Either that, or they've forgotten what it feels like. What if they don't know what happiness feels like?

What if they don't have the money to foot a huge emergency room bill?

What if becoming unmentally ill means to become a whole different person than who you are now? Is that hard for you to imagine? It is for me, because that's my situation right there.

If i were mentally well, I would be a different person entirely than who I am now and that's hard for me to wrap my head around but I think it's very true. If I am going to be mentally well, I will no longer be the Soph that everyone on here has known for several years.

I've spent several months in shame and silence because I didn't know how to face the things which made me hate my life and hate myself. I didn't want to burden anyone else with my miserableness, I didn't want to hear other people laugh at me or tear me down. I distanced myself from everyone because I believed that I was (and still do) a hopelessly defective human over the stupid small honeysuckle in life. I guess I am talking now. Mostly I just write in one or two sentence responses.


You talk about choices as though it is black and white. What if one's mindset prevents them from seeing the sense in what you call commonsense? What if their mental illness blocks them? ...It's not that simple! It's really not. I think improving ones mental illness is a gradual thing if anything since we usually dig our own holes over a several-year time-span.

There. Are. No. Quick. Fixes.

There are also No. Painless. Fixes.

I am also beginning to think that change involves feeling uncomfortable and discomfort is something people run from because they experience it as a negative thing. Thus the perpetuation of negative behaviors and mentally ill mentalities.

The truth is, I am jealous of you. I wish I were you, with great mental health and a great outlook on life. Maybe someday I will be able to come into a forum and be able to dish out advice and irritate the living crap out of someone that still is mentally ill.

By the way, why are you here on a loneliness forum during your vacation? Shouldn't you be out on a beach boogie boarding?

I agree with part of what you said, but I do want to address a few things.

• Therapy and/or meds don't work for everybody, are not free, and not everybody is covered by government programs.
• The emergency room doesn't treat you for free just because you walk in and say, "I've been feeling down." Most of the people here don't qualify as "emergency" situations.
• Mental health clinics are not required to help.

It's your attitude, not your aptitude, that determines your altitude.

It's easier said than done to "fix" or move on from a bad childhood, or bad experience. And, sure, therapists have to help you. It's their job. However, it doesn't always work. And for some, it takes more than someone just doing what they're paid to do in order to help.

So, think more deeply than just what's on the surface of this forum before you think you can come here and judge and think you know the answer. Even if all the problems were the same, the solutions are not.

sometimes what people need is just a space to air out what they have been struggling with in their lives and that doesn't mean they are not doing anything about it.

Each on of us has our own struggles and no one can possibly understand that completely just by reading something of what we said about experiences. We deal with situations differently and we go by our own paces.

Although I agree with some on the things you said, I also have to agree with Sophia...

SophiaGrace said:

By the way, why are you here on a loneliness forum during your vacation? Shouldn't you be out on a beach boogie boarding?

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^^

SophiaGrace said:

By the way, why are you here on a loneliness forum during your vacation? Shouldn't you be out on a beach boogie boarding?

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lol

SophiaGrace, you are working towards improvement. You're speaking and being open so my words weren't addressed to you. It's one thing to wine and complain and do the work needed to find the help or insight you need to improve. It sounds like your doing that.
My vacation isn't about playing on the beach, it's more just for rest and relaxation with friends I haven't seen in awhile. This isn't a bad place to read and relax. There are some smart people saying some interesting things in here.
Vanillacreme,I see what your saying and agree with it. I didn't mean to pass judgment, just expressing an opinion.

:shy:

and so it begins

Aberlee said:

SophiaGrace, you are working towards improvement. You're speaking and being open so my words weren't addressed to you. It's one thing to wine and complain and do the work needed to find the help or insight you need to improve. It sounds like your doing that.

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I don't think you quite finished your thought here.

"It's one thing to wine[sic] and complain and do the work needed to find the help or insight you need to improve but another to..."

Finish your thought?

By the way, what are you reading?

Sometiimes I had to sit in my own honeysuckle for a while to know Its my honeysuckle I smelling...its all part of the grwoning process. Once I get...I get it.
It dosnt matter if everyone else gets it.what matters is that I get it.
Growing pains sucks ass...but @ that juntuire of my life..I needed that..
Tpday..I dont need as mjuch pains to grow or is movitate by pains to grow.

and you cant beat it into me or force feed me...I DONT SWALLOW
Ill reject whatever...even If I even know that you are right and agree with you..Ill simply reject it..cuz it has to do with control issues or freedom.
I must be granted chioces and freedom...
But if you say...I can take it or leave it
Being as currious as I am..Ill probably check it out.lol

---

Its probaly a truamatic triggers I got from childhood

I went to the doctor. Stupid ass nurse with titays all up in my face distracting me. ***** kept saying the medician will be good for me. Then she jammed a needle into me...It hurted like a son of a *****. I seriously wanted to ***** slapp her for lying to me..
Plus as a reward. For going through that..She only gave me a lolly pop....
The entire time I was thinking I might get to suck on her titays. :0

So from that day forward ..anyone that say whatever is good for me...I think its going cuz me great pains and ur lying to me ..thats my first reaction.