I Guess I Hate Myself

I suppose I do hate myself, mentally and physically. I always feel fat, I always feel out of place, too different. I have no friends, no true friends anyways. I don't feel loved.In truth I never have. Iv asked myself what their is to live for several times now, not that I'm going to kill myself, but I just wonder. Haven't come up with a good answer yet.

So yeah, you could probably say my self-esteem is low.

You've got to ask yourself which things bother you the most about your life. Once you've identified these problems, you can start making tiny steps to change them. Focus on practical, everyday things that you can change and not on the bigger picture (with its huge existential questions that only confuse you and make you feel miserable).

A good thing to do is to wonder why you keep putting yourself down before other people have done it. Sure, you might not look like a moviestar and there might be people out there who would love to make fun of you or put you down, but why do their dirty work for them? There should always be one person in your life who you can be sure of that he/she believes in you, and that person is you.
So ask yourself: don't I deserve to be as happy as other 'normal' people who seem to enjoy everyday things? Do I have to be miserable just because I'm different, because I stand out among them? Ofcourse not, they don't have a monopoly on fun things that can be done in this world, so try to go out there (because that's where you can find those reasons to live for) and do that course you've always wanted to take but that you were afraid of, or go to that popular restaurant on your own; you've got every right to be as happy as anyone else!

Love yourself for what you are, because this is the life that has been given to you and it passes far too quickly. Don't let other people ruin it.

(((HUG)))

Sometimes, we have to go out of our comfort zone to find something truly worthwhile. I wish you all the best. I wish you happiness.

I'll be your friend!

PaperDuck87 said:

I'll be your friend!

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Me too!
I can really relate.

Ivy said:

I suppose I do hate myself, mentally and physically. I always feel fat, I always feel out of place, too different. I have no friends, no true friends anyways. I don't feel loved.In truth I never have. Iv asked myself what their is to live for several times now, not that I'm going to kill myself, but I just wonder. Haven't come up with a good answer yet.

So yeah, you could probably say my self-esteem is low.

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Self-hate is a tricky, nasty business, I'll give you that. The worst part about it is the tape that plays over and over in your mind and defaults to the position about how you're not a nice person or don't deserve such-and-such because of (fill in the blank here).

The first step to this, I've found, is accepting that you feel this way about yourself on a deep level. Usually when this hits it's a terrible blow. The second is to go easy on yourself. Come to terms that you are doing the best you know how and that there may be people in your past and in your present that might not appreciate that. If they're in your life now and talk down to you it may be best to cut them out of your life. When you're trying day after day to get that tape of low self worth to stop playing in your mind, having someone in your life who keeps hitting play or worse yet keeps recording new stuff to add to it is too much to ask anyone to put up with. Often you're happier without them.

Then work on identifying your positive points. Make an effort to write down something someone says to you that makes you feel good - even when… ESPECIALLY when… you don't agree with them. Most of the time denying your good points is as bad as berating yourself for your bad ones. Learn to accept a compliment and say thank you and not deny what the other person says.

To heal this takes a lot of time. And maybe you never really stop healing, actually. Treat it like if you were sick with the flu. If you were sick with the flu you'd push the fluids and get plenty of rest and take it easy so your body can heal, right?

Well the mind is like that too.

Sometimes you just need to do the mental equivalent. Do something that you enjoy and are good at on your own and compliment yourself on it. Compliment yourself on being smart enough to take the time to attend to your own mental and emotional needs by doing this exercise. Heal. Forgive. You've had a tough time and now it's time to pull through it to the other side. Go easy on yourself like when you would start eating again after you've had the flu. Slowly, carefully. Not too much and not too rich. Wade back into it. And above all keep a mental eye peeled for when your negative self-talk becomes loud enough to drown out other thoughts. This is your thermometer. The way to tell if you need to take some time to do some mental TLC to get better.

You're more capable than you give yourself credit for. And you can do this.

Hi Ivy,
Could you maybe Use hating yourself
as a motivation to change?

I read the other day that some people can only be motivated
by the negative aspects of their lives.

Maybe you are one of them.

Good luck to you
never give up.

You know a while ago someone said this to me. Stop telling me why you are failing, and start telling me how you are going to succeed. While I blew off the idea for a while. I tried it out and... well things became easier. Life got better, it is weird really.

@ AFrozenSoul - Thanks for the advice, sounds interesting.

@ Peter Lorre - Thank you so much, I need that. It is probably and omg moment, but I love you now! THANK YOU! (you should write a book!)

@ Cosmo - Thank you, some very good points. (;

@ A new life - Interesting tip, I'll probably try that.

@ Canary and PaperDuck87 - Thanks guys! XD

@ 0CI355A - Thanks!! XD I need hugs now an' days

You're very welcome Ivy, am glad I could offer some kind of help

Anyway, I'm always glad to help/talk so if you ever need me, you know where to find me

Nobody likes a Debbie Downer, so most importantly, love yourself before you can love someone else. (or so that they can love you.) Maybe you've never felt loved because you simply wont love yourself. How do you know what love is, until you know what it's like to love yourself?
Not every person loves everything about themselves. Even my little sister, who's always been a pretty little blonde, hates things about her appearance. In my opinion, she doesn't have a single thing to complain about. You always want what you don't have, even when you should think you have everything. There's always going to be something that you wish you didn't have, or that you could change.
Similar to what was said before, try to get yourself on a more positive mindset first. Instead of looking in the mirror and pointing out everything you don't like, try to find something you do like, and focus on it. Every day, when you look in the mirror, think about how good that particular feature looks, even if it's just your nose, shoulders, or whatever. Filling your mind with positive thoughts will help put you in a better place.
And if you're not happy with your weight, do something about it. I always hate when people complain about things when they're unwilling to change it. Working out can be tough, but it also makes you feel good.
If you want to feel better about yourself, you've got to do something about it. Don't expect any person to make you feel good about yourself. At the end of the day, the only person that really cares about your feelings is you. Be the person that you need yourself to be.

I have no idea what advice to offer, since I'm nothing resembling a professional. I just want to say I hope you're doing better soon ;_;

Ivy said:

I suppose I do hate myself, mentally and physically. I always feel fat, I always feel out of place, too different. I have no friends, no true friends anyways. I don't feel loved.In truth I never have. Iv asked myself what their is to live for several times now, not that I'm going to kill myself, but I just wonder. Haven't come up with a good answer yet.

So yeah, you could probably say my self-esteem is low.

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You don't feel loved, because you don't love yourself - simple. Learn to love yourself, stop concentrating on your flaws, and start to appreciate the good things about you.
And about that - " I always feel too different" - well, yeah, you are different from everybody else, but why this should be a bad thing? No one is the same like the others, every person is unique, and you have to learn to appreciate your uniqueness..

Thank you very much Peter.

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Thank you Petia and SkuzzieMuff, I believe that is the key. Though it will definitely be challenging to love myself.


Thank you for your concern sagasu, feels good.

Self-Hatred has always been front and center for me too. There are a few ways that I try to cope...
Enough about me though. How do you feel today? Is self-hatred the only thing you feel day after day?
Do you occasionally feel joy at all?

i want people think i'm realy sexy.what can i do?how much effective is facial attractiveness؟

@ Timelessness - I do feel joy at times, though i wouldn't describe it really as joy. More of a faint flash of happiness. My biggest, one of my biggest, dream is to feel absolute joy.

@ sadgeghol - I don't know all that much about being sexy, but I suppose it all depends on the person. If your asking my opinion. (Facial attractiveness is a plus though!)

Ivy said:

I don't feel loved.In truth I never have. Iv asked myself what their is to live for several times now.

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Count me in. I'm slowing realizing there is no point per se, and we must find meaning through our actions and others in our circle. The reality is more tricky though. Don't give up looking.

Peter Lorre said:

Love yourself for what you are, because this is the life that has been given to you and it passes far too quickly. Don't let other people ruin it.

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This is becoming my new personal motto!

Have you thought about a change of scenery? Are you drinking or doing drugs? Do you get enough ( at least 8 hours ) of sleep every night, vitamin D / iron deficient? Get enough fresh air or exercise?

Everything comes around full circle, you'll have times when you won't even be able to remember feeling the way you do and there will be times when you won't remember happiness. It's impossible to feel good if you don't treat your body good.

Thanks guys. I'm happy to say my status is getting a little better as well.