How Long Have You Been Single?

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T

That Guy

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I've been alone for 3 years now. I'm feeling worse and worse about it all the time. I just don't know what to do. How long has everyone else been alone?
 
I've been single for 5 almost 6 years. The more time that passes the more accustomed to it I become. This is not a good thing because I don't want to go through life alone. Anytime anyone gets close to me or there is the chance for me to meet someone I run away like a scared child. This sucks but I think slowly I'm trying to change.
 
I have been single for about 2 1/2 years. I don't mind being single, well for the moment anyway. I have a few more goals to achieve before I start looking for new relationship.
 
haha... 2 yrs is long? try being alone unattached for your entire life buddy...then that is what i call long.
 
going on 21 years now. even if you write off say the first 14 years, then its 7 years and counting.
 
I wouldn't say that it even counts until you are at least 18. That is the legal age of adulthood in many nations and the age of consent for many.

18 years old...still a teenager! A sophomore, thinking you know it all about the world when you might not have ever left your own neighborhood....town...city...state....country....continent....and most certainly, you've never left your own Planet! (I don't think there are any teenage astronauts, please correct me if I'm wrong!) I would say most humans are not even READY for a relationship until age 25 or so, give or take a few years. 25....beginning to be more mature, more ready to perhaps even settle down with a marriage or permanent relationship...rather than just running around having sex with relative strangers!
 
Well its been 23 year unless you only count after 18 then only 5 thought for sure I would have won this one but looks like keeper has me by a bit but I pass him up sometime =)
 
I think it's okay to be alone...but ONLY if you want to be.

If you are lonely for a romantic relationship, I suggest:

1.) Signing up for clubs and groups in your area for your interests--country music, dancing, Chinense, French, International Friendship Club, what have you. If there is none in your town, MAKE ONE! And advertise it freely on community bulletin boards, etc. There are probably many people in your town bored, too, if there are few social opportunities.

2.) Sign up for charity club, such as feeding the homeless, reading to the blind, helping sick kids at the hospital, etc.

3.) Sign up for church, temple, wat, etc. Some sort of religious or spiritual group in your town. Be careful of cults, though, since they tend to attract lonely people, loners, and 'different' folks and they often employ different mind control techniques such as isolating you from your friends and family, etc. If a group tries to make you avoid your loved ones, that is a warning sign.

4.) Get active doing stuff you like. Whether going hiking, walking, going to the movies, go to a museum, DO WHAT YOU LOVE even if you have to do it by yourself! Bring an Ipod, Cell phone, portable laptop, book to read, or even a journal and you are NEVER truly alone! You have something to 'occupy' you in a public cafe or library or bookstore--great places to strike up conversations, by the way!
 
lonelygirl said:
I wouldn't say that it even counts until you are at least 18. That is the legal age of adulthood in many nations and the age of consent for many.

18 years old...still a teenager! A sophomore, thinking you know it all about the world when you might not have ever left your own neighborhood....town...city...state....country....continent....and most certainly, you've never left your own Planet! (I don't think there are any teenage astronauts, please correct me if I'm wrong!) I would say most humans are not even READY for a relationship until age 25 or so, give or take a few years. 25....beginning to be more mature, more ready to perhaps even settle down with a marriage or permanent relationship...rather than just running around having sex with relative strangers!

People have relationships before the age of 18 all the time. I would count it as soon as one goes through puberty more or less, which is usually around 13-14 years old. These relationships are not always just sexual in nature. And I also think that maturity has little to do with age and when it comes to relationships, I believe that like almost everything else in life, practice makes perfect so I don't really think you can assign an age to a level of relationship related maturity. and again, not all relationships are purely sexual.
 
Well, good point, AL. I agree. Many of those first romantic relationships are more sexual exploration, but the trouble is that people can really get hurt when they are so young and fragile! Those who are inexperienced in love life.
 
lonelygirl said:
Well, good point, AL. I agree. Many of those first romantic relationships are more sexual exploration, but the trouble is that people can really get hurt when they are so young and fragile! Those who are inexperienced in love life.

I really think that the amount of pain one suffers from a broken relationship is dependant on how invested in that relationship they were. I don't believe that age really has that much to do with the effects of emotional pain. I tend to think along the lines of this question "is it any easier to accept the death of a friend or family member the second time around?". Although I might concede that maybe the very first time you suffer large emotional loss (ie from a relationship) may be more potent than following relationships depending on the seriousness of the first relationship. If that makes any sense.
 
Excellent point, Angry Loner. I know that my first love and first heart break were literally DEVASTATING to me. I thought that life couldn't go on, because the pain of caring for someone and having them reject you was too overwhelming!

I agree, age is nothing but a number. But I fear for young people who get deeply emotionally and physically involved, as they might not have the same maturity or life experience or wisdom or what have you to deal with that pain without feeling suicidal or anything.
 
Well, if you think only relationships after 18 count I've still had one. A decent one. Lasted 2 1/2 years. It ended 3 years ago and I miss the companionship so much. I really felt like we were attached. I broke up with her b/c I was being a stupid kid and I was unwilling to accept her faults. I was looking for that perfect girl and thought I could find better. Now I'm 24 and alone. I've been looking around ever since and it's only now that I realize what I let go of. I've grown up a lot since graduating college and I would really love to settle down with someone and build a future together. She would have been a good girl to do that with. Me and her met when we were 18 and I felt like I had so many memories with her that it changed me so much. Now I have to try to find someone new and start all over. I hate it. I really wish I could be sharing all of this new-adulthood struggle with her sometimes.

It really bothers me being alone b/c I feel every day I want someone to talk to, someone to grow with. I feel like every day is just a struggle for personal survival and nothing more. I want something more. I want someone in my life to build with.

Man, I wish I had her back.
 
I've been single for a couple months now. It's hard to meet someone with whom I really connect with. I'm sort of in a complicated situation right now which is hard to explain, but still single by definition.
 
I'm in a dating relationship, but not much has changed since we started dating six years ago....I'm starting to find that the longer I stay single (as in not married), the harder it is for me to consider getting married. I think I'm becoming too comfortable in my singlehood.
 
teach said:
I'm starting to find that the longer I stay single (as in not married), the harder it is for me to consider getting married. I think I'm becoming too comfortable in my singlehood.
me 2 & i only broke up w/x like 2 mths ago. its just so freeing. i really feel good most of the time doing what i wanna do when i wanna do it how i wanna do it & with who
 
It felt freeing to me too. After about a year though I started feeling the chill of loneliness. :(
 

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