S
SierraSun
Guest
I can't believe I found this place! It's nice to know that I'm not going crazy and there are other people that feel the same way I do. I did a search for lonely people forums and that is how i found your site. To be honest, it was more of a joke to myself that I even typed it. I figured my search would come back empty, just like my life.
For the last 5 years I've been caregiver to my elderly mom and dad, and it's been pretty hard. I worked full-time and took care of 2 households, plus lived with my folks 3 days a week. When I learned my Dad had to be put on hospice and needed full-time care, I quit a successful job to take care of him so he could stay at home and not be put in a nursing home. Of course all my siblings and other families members said they'd help me, but little by little they all became selfish and stuck me with everything because I have a good heart. The stress took a toll on my health both physically & mentally.
My Father passed away in april, and it's been pretty tough. He was my best friend. 2 months after that happened, my long time boyfriend of 7yrs left me when I needed him the most. I thought he was the love of my life. So I haven't had time to get a handle on anything or even properly grieve for my Dad. My heart is broken, empty and there is no one to talk too except my cat. pathetic I know. I try to keep going and look at all the things in life to be grateful for - but when I look at all I've lost, it's rather hard. The only thing that keeps me half way sane, is that my mom depends on me. So, i try to be strong for her. I spend so much time alone, that it's difficult for me to even talk to anyone anymore and at the same time I'm starving for companionship. I used to be very outgoing & a free spirit - but now it's hell just getting through a day. If i didn't have a pc, I'd totally lose it.
For the last 5 years I've been caregiver to my elderly mom and dad, and it's been pretty hard. I worked full-time and took care of 2 households, plus lived with my folks 3 days a week. When I learned my Dad had to be put on hospice and needed full-time care, I quit a successful job to take care of him so he could stay at home and not be put in a nursing home. Of course all my siblings and other families members said they'd help me, but little by little they all became selfish and stuck me with everything because I have a good heart. The stress took a toll on my health both physically & mentally.
My Father passed away in april, and it's been pretty tough. He was my best friend. 2 months after that happened, my long time boyfriend of 7yrs left me when I needed him the most. I thought he was the love of my life. So I haven't had time to get a handle on anything or even properly grieve for my Dad. My heart is broken, empty and there is no one to talk too except my cat. pathetic I know. I try to keep going and look at all the things in life to be grateful for - but when I look at all I've lost, it's rather hard. The only thing that keeps me half way sane, is that my mom depends on me. So, i try to be strong for her. I spend so much time alone, that it's difficult for me to even talk to anyone anymore and at the same time I'm starving for companionship. I used to be very outgoing & a free spirit - but now it's hell just getting through a day. If i didn't have a pc, I'd totally lose it.
