What do you think of Chivalry or guys that are Chivalrous?

I'm not sure how to take it myself. I mean, it seems polite for a guy to hold the door for me, or help me with my bags, but does chivalry imply that women are weaker?

Hell ******* no. Whatever happened to the Victorian ways of protecting your lady from harm and filth? The only thing I wouldn't agree with are chaperons, because I can go out on my own if I want to.

Women are equal now, so they get everything that comes with it (including the ability to open their own doors).

That said it's just plain polite to hold the door if you get there first or help someone with a buncha honeysuckle they are carrying. Chivalry doesn't really have anything to do with it.

I think it depends on how it's done, mostly. When someone goes very out of their way to be chivalrous it can look... awkward. And calls attention to itself too much.

But small acts of chivalry are certainly not dead and fall well within the realm of the polite thing to do. Holding a door, pushing in a chair, walking on the side closest to the street, preceding a woman when working your way through a crowd but letting her go first when being escorted to a table in a restaurant, letting the lady order first at a restaurant, etc. All of these, if done properly, might not even be noticed if you aren't paying close attention. But if she is and you do it in a way that doesn't ask for these small courtesies to be acknowledged then I'd think you'd win points for them.

In sort, it's not about women being weaker, it's about giving them deference or support in small, unassuming ways. Being classy and a gentleman, if you will. There's nothing wrong with that.

Hm. The men with whom I am compatible certainly wouldn't consider me weak, but I wouldn't deal with a guy who wouldn't hold the door or help me with my bags. I suppose it's all about perspective.

Kind of a funny story
Once I was walking into a bank
sort of in my own little world
and just out of habit I held the door
open for the person behind me.
The person behind me just happened to be a woman
and she ended up calling me everything but a white boy.
I did not open the door for her because she was a woman
but just out of politeness.
I only succeeded in offending her greatly!

It takes all kinds.

Guys can open doors for us. On the flip side, we can open doors too. People are so caught up in having equal this and equal that... Whatever happened to just common decency? To being nice?... Just because I have a vagina, doesn't mean that I can't hold doors open for anyone.

VanillaCreme said:

Guys can open doors for us. On the flip side, we can open doors too. People are so caught up in having equal this and equal that... Whatever happened to just common decency? To being nice?... Just because I have a vagina, doesn't mean that I can't hold doors open for anyone.

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Well in all fairness its quite hard to open a door with a vagina whereas i can quite easily open a door with my penis...







Sorry i just had to. <Grin> :club:

VanillaCreme said:

Just because I have a vagina, doesn't mean that I can't hold doors open for anyone.

Click to expand...

This is actually sort of nice when it happens.

The uh... um... door opening thing.

Not the uh... vagina having.

...

Though, er, actually that's nice too, really.

Win/win. =P

Chivalry is about respect, not an implied weakness in women. Sure, it comes from the days when women were considered weaker (still a hot debate... lol).... but mostly it's about protecting and serving and courting a woman because you love women and respect them.

Well, those women of a class near your own.

Peasant women are free-for-all.

I never really considered 'chivalry' only to apply on actions towards women.

Also, what shame is there in helping someone? By some of the above logic, anytime I'd help someone, it'd imply they are too weak to do anything for themselves... why still help eachother at all then?

I know that someone can open a door for themselves when I hold it open for them, I just assume it's much nicer not having to do it yourself.

Cosmo said:

In sort, it's not about women being weaker, it's about giving them deference or support in small, unassuming ways. Being classy and a gentleman, if you will. There's nothing wrong with that.

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Could not have said it better myself, I think. Bravo.

Women are weaker!! And I really do not understand how people can not accept that. I open doors for anyone when I have the opportunity, but honestly if I see a guy open a door walk through and let it close behind him when someone like an elderly women or man is behind him.. I would think to myself (how unkind). I have rejected guys pretty badly after seeing things like that. (Well two guys that I can think of.. and I told them why I didn't really want to get to know them as well).

But back to my point.. women pretty much are weaker. During pregnancy for example.. lifting heavy objects can cause miscarriages and some studies imply that it affects your fertility even when not pregnant (it also affects male fertility but they can lift heavier things before an effect is seen). The average woman is weaker than the average man, so helping her carry things & open things is just sensible.

For something as simple as opening a door... as long as you are not busy I think that everyone should be able to do that for anyone. There are circumstances when you should even go out of your way to do it. If the person is very old, or has children, or is pregnant, or disabled, or just has a lot of things in their hand. But in general I think it is just the polite thing to do, regardless of the circumstances. Once the door is easy to open.

I know some doors are hard to open though, that happened to me last week, I was trying to get into a shop and I could not because the door was just waay to difficult to open. A random lady stopped and opened the door for me, she was a lot bigger than me.. I was grateful .

^^^I don't think the "weaker" thing is only talking about physical strength. People who say that women are weaker are talking about physically, emotionally, spiritually...

...and I just don't agree.

Women are stronger in ways, men are stronger in ways. There are advantages and disadvantages to each sex.

Any self-respecting woman wouldn't or shouldn't be offended. There are gender roles that are acceptable with respect to gender equality.

I go (moderately) out of my way to hold the door for a woman, to pick up something she drops as she walks along the sidewalk, to offer assistance or the use of my cellphone if she seems stranded or in need.

Why?

Because she has a VAGINA. Of course!

PENISES aren't nearly as much fun (or so I hear, I wouldn't know)

It's just a polite and respectable thing to do. I've never had a women snarl at me (young or old) for opening or holding open a door for them, they always give a polite appreciative smile. It shows a lack of respect for a man if he just lets a door slam on a woman or waits for them to open it. I've never thought of it implying a woman is weak, never. I was raised that it is just a respectful thing to do. I've done this for older guys if they are walking with a cane or walker, that kind gesture can go a long way in brightening someones day, especially if you do it with a smile and a friendly hello.

Women are weaker!! And I really do not understand how people can not accept that. I open doors for anyone when I have the opportunity, but honestly if I see a guy open a door walk through and let it close behind him when someone like an elderly women or man is behind him.. I would think to myself (how unkind). I have rejected guys pretty badly after seeing things like that. (Well two guys that I can think of.. and I told them why I didn't really want to get to know them as well).

Well that's just a matter of common decency. One should always take the elderly into consideration in the first place, and it wouldn't hurt him to turn his head for a second to make sure no one is behind him.


But back to my point.. women pretty much are weaker. During pregnancy for example.. lifting heavy objects can cause miscarriages and some studies imply that it affects your fertility even when not pregnant (it also affects male fertility but they can lift heavier things before an effect is seen). The average woman is weaker than the average man, so helping her carry things & open things is just sensible.

In many communities, the woman is the stronger sex. We are by no means frail as a gender. Even if some particular woman is weak, then yes, the sensible thing would be for anyone to help lift and/or open things. That's not a gender-specific task.
At the same time, if a frail man needs help lifting or opening something, he'll most likely be told to man up and get some strength. So why can't women do the same, or find some other means to perform the task on their own? Do I need to ask a man every time I need to open a pickle jar? No - I grab a knife, puncture the lid, and open that sucker.

For something as simple as opening a door... as long as you are not busy I think that everyone should be able to do that for anyone. There are circumstances when you should even go out of your way to do it. If the person is very old, or has children, or is pregnant, or disabled, or just has a lot of things in their hand. But in general I think it is just the polite thing to do, regardless of the circumstances. Once the door is easy to open.

This I agree with. There's no excuse for someone to just let the door shut in front of someone, especially if that person can't open it his or herself. Again, that's just common decency. I would definitely look down on a person for a moment if they couldn't display that small show of consideration.

I know some doors are hard to open though, that happened to me last week, I was trying to get into a shop and I could not because the door was just waay to difficult to open. A random lady stopped and opened the door for me, she was a lot bigger than me.. I was grateful .

This is what I meant earlier. All this chivalry-is-for-men crap is getting in the way of people just being courteous to other people. The genders are too busy placing roles (Men take care of the physical stuff; Women take care of the emotional or logical). Just do what you're ABLE to do.
There are men can cook, take care of children, and be emotionally open. There are women can work, lift heavy things, and throw a killer left hook.

So what does it mean that men can do these things and women can do those things? NOTHING. Just DO what needs to be done, regardless of who you are.

Well I think I get hung up over chivalry being connected to traditional values such as women being the ones taking care of the kids & staying at home, whereas guys are the breadwinners and the ones who are deferred to in the decision making.

THAT is what makes me nervous about chivalry, because I think, when in a relationship the two people should work as a team in everything they do and not be assigned roles.

One time I entered a building ahead of this girl I liked, so naturally I did the gentlemanly thing and rushed ahead and pushed the door shut behind me. Then watched though the glass as her jaw dropped as she saw me push a bench in front of the door so that way she couldn't get it open afterwards. lol.

.... she ended up becoming my girlfriend after that. Not sure how that worked. :S