Hi, just introducing myself.. (kinda long so feel free not to read)

Well, hi there I'm Joe. I'm 20, male (duh) from the UK, and i'm lonely. Very very lonely. I don't know if you'll be interested but this is my story so far for those interested.

You might be thinking, how does a 20 year old end up so lonely, but it seems to have gone beyond my control now. It all started back when I was 16, I met the most amazing girl ever, and we soon started dating. I've moved area in 16 years more times than I have fingers so she ended up being not only my girlfriend but an amazing friend too as I never stayed in one area long enough to keep friendships. After 7 months, we decided the 6 hour distance, and seeing each other only at weekends was a bit too much and we ended up breaking up which basically broke my heart. I was working full time as a chef at this point which is my job, I work as a chef, so didn't really have time to get back out there and change the fact I had no friends. I kept myself to myself at work as I've always been teased about the fact I don't have this deep manly voice and don't like typical male activities like football, hardcore boozing down the pub and stuff. I never fitted in at work because they thought I was gay (which i'm really not, nothing against gay people either!) so I just kept myself to myself.

A few months later I was really struggling with the fact I was so lonely, and ended up turning to drugs as a realease in order to make me feel a bit better and ended up smoking weed on the daily because it just seemed to numb everything. So for the past 2 and a bit years i've been smoking weed daily and made myself more and more and more of a social outcast.

Then about half a year ago, I decided to try and change things. I gave up the weed, and tried everything I possibly could to make friends. I used to work right next door to a nightclub, and after work at around 10pm, I'd go into the nightclub on a busy friday or saturday night, sit at the bar, and try and get chatting to anyone I could. It never worked, people were always in their own friendship circles, and never even paid attention to me. Then one night, a girl walked up to me and asked me if I was alone. I said yeah, and that I was just having a quite pint of beer hoping to meet someone. She smiled, and sat down and we had a chat for 5 minutes, and she seemed to ask alot about me, why I was alone, why I wasn't with friends etc etc so I told her honestly why I was there, that I had no mates, and was trying to find someone.. next thing I know shes saying hold on i'll be right back. So I sit there, order another pint, and she comes back 2 seconds later with a group of girls, points at me and goes "hahaha see theres the sad loner i told you i wasn't making it up.. hahahaha" and walked off. I've never been so humilated in my life. I just walked out and went home :| and never went there again.

I've found that other than cooking not much really interests me. I tried snowboarding for some time, but I was rubbish, and ended up breaking my hand in 3 places which put an abrupt end to that. I've managed to kick the drugs now, and it was never any hard drugs like cocaine or pills or anything, just weed, but i've given it up and things just don't seem to be getting any better.

I often wonder whats wrong with me, I mean i'm not a bad looking guy, I'm half greek so have dark hair, and mediterranean features.. I like modern music, from indie to hip hop to reggae. I enjoy watching films, I'm a chatty guy etc. I sure as hell love my food. I just don't know what I can do anymore. Its getting worse and worse and makes me feel worse and worse, I mean if I can't even make a friend, what girl is going to want to get in a relationship with a boring guy who has no friends and doesn't even go out. I don't have a ton of life experience, so I'm constantly worried i won't know what to talk about if I ever did get in a relationship.. It just sucks.

I don't know what to do anymore, I hate being lonely it sucks.

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Hey welcome to the site

lonelymojoe said:

So I sit there, order another pint, and she comes back 2 seconds later with a group of girls, points at me and goes "hahaha see theres the sad loner i told you i wasn't making it up.. hahahaha" and walked off. I've never been so humilated in my life. I just walked out and went home :| and never went there again.

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If you aren't making this up then I can say you are a better man than I am. I would have verbally destroyed the ***** and been vindictive as fresia for the next few hours. Hell, if I ever even SAW someone do that to someone I would do the same. Saying something like that could be the last thing that sends a suicidal person over the edge.

I'm normally the shy quiet person, but I can throw down with words or fists when I need to. Its why no one really messed with me through high school.

As much of an outcast that you think you are, you still have to stick up for yourself.

You are good at cooking. There's a lot of good possibilities that come out of that. You can volunteer your skills, you could join a pot luck group, you could start a class, or attend a class to meet people.

Hosting dinner parties is a good way to meet people too. When people are having a good time and eating good food, you will be the reason for their good time. Get good enough at that and you could start a catering service or something.

kamya said:

Hey welcome to the site

lonelymojoe said:

So I sit there, order another pint, and she comes back 2 seconds later with a group of girls, points at me and goes "hahaha see theres the sad loner i told you i wasn't making it up.. hahahaha" and walked off. I've never been so humilated in my life. I just walked out and went home :| and never went there again.

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If you aren't making this up then I can say you are a better man than I am. I would have verbally destroyed the ***** and been vindictive as fresia for the next few hours. Hell, if I ever even SAW someone do that to someone I would do the same. Saying something like that could be the last thing that sends a suicidal person over the edge.

I'm normally the shy quiet person, but I can throw down with words or fists when I need to. Its why no one really messed with me through high school.

As much of an outcast that you think you are, you still have to stick up for yourself.

You are good at cooking. There's a lot of good possibilities that come out of that. You can volunteer your skills, you could join a pot luck group, you could start a class, or attend a class to meet people.

Hosting dinner parties is a good way to meet people too. When people are having a good time and eating good food, you will be the reason for their good time. Get good enough at that and you could start a catering service or something.

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No honestly I'm not making it up at all. I did think about kickiing off but I thought "whats that gona do, if I make a fuss everyones gona look my way which is going to draw major attention to myself, the bouncers will probably chuck me out for kicking off, and it'll just cause more hassle than its worth. She was with a group of her friends and as nasty as it was to do/say that I'm not nasty enough in turn to ruin her night by verbally attacking someeone". I'm all for sticking up for myself in certain situations but sometimes you've just gotta know when to walk away. I just walked out, got a taxi home and that was it.

I did think about hosting dinner parties, but who do I invite If i don't know anyone?

Nice to meet you by the way

Well, it sounds like you're a stand up guy anyway, and you kept your cool, that's something to be proud of right there. People can be really harsh to eachother, and one of the most difficult things in the world to do is to not take this to heart. This is just the system we are placed in, it's the nature of the beast. I believe this life is a test, and whatever comes up, pass or fail, the important thing is that there is a learning opportunity. Maybe sometimes it doesn't seem like you've learned anything, but ultimately experience brings change. Whether this is good change or bad, I believe, depends on your ability to accept and forgive yourself and others. That's what I've learned anyway, you just have to accept and keep trying. Happiness is only about 25% situational, the rest is a decision.

Anyway you sound like a good guy, welcome to the site

Yeah that's why I say you are a better man than I am because I wouldn't have been able to let that go.

I'm not sure about inviting people. You could start with family and tell each person to bring a friend. Or you could go to a cooking class and invite people from there.

You might have luck joining a volunteer organization or charity and help host events for those. These groups usually have get together and things like that.

Well, as the 'wise' Sting sings: "A gentleman will walk but never run" You did the right thing.

Welcome to the forum Joe! I Admire people who are good at cooking snd although I love doing it myself, I'm afraid I'm not that (understatement lol) skilled at it!

Anyway, if you ever want to chat, feel free to PM. In the meantime: enjoy your stay!

I would invite people from my family however I only know my mum and my stepdad, I don't know the rest of my family, and have no brothers or sisters... neither parent has friends, they just have each other i suppose :|

But i'll look into volounteering, there must be something i can do in my spare time

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Peter Lorre said:

Well, as the 'wise' Sting sings: "A gentleman will walk but never run" You did the right thing.

Welcome to the forum Joe! I Admire people who are good at cooking snd although I love doing it myself, I'm afraid I'm not that (understatement lol) skilled at it!

Anyway, if you ever want to chat, feel free to PM. In the meantime: enjoy your stay!

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well, if you ever need any tips/recipes/advice on cooking come talk to me i'd be happy to help I made blueberry and white chocolate muffins yesterday, they turned out lovely haha.

Anyway nice to meet ya