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I need real friends

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Mar 27, 2011
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Hi to you all,

Firstly, I must say how glad I am to have found this site. If ever I needed to find people that can relate to me and how I'm feeling, it's now. Even though I haven't read more than a few lines of this site, I know it is good for me to be part of it, and I thank you all for being here.

Right, my story (sorry, it may be long).

I was an adopted child at 6 weeks old, and have no knowlege at all of my birth family. The family I was adopted into was a living hell, with my adoptive parents splitting up when I was six years old. My childhood was nothing but abuse of every form (except sexual), and I was simply a pawn in my parents insane game, something to be used as a bargaining tool (along with my sister who was also adopted). In and out of courts for most of my childhood, custody cases and the like, it is not right (or fair) for any child to have to endure this. Due to these factors, my education was ruined and this legacy follows me to this day. I have no family other than my sister, no wife, no children and no partner (and now it seems no friends that are worth knowing). I have achieved nothing in life, have nothing, and see no prospects of anything changing.

My background I am sure has left scars within me as a person, but very very few people know about my background. It is a very intimate and emotionally painful part of me, and is something I only tell special people in my life. So far, pretty much every single person I have told this to has then let me down in one way or another, so that makes me feel my trust has been betrayed.

I am liked by everyone, ever helpful, and always seen as a good guy, yet I am alone. 46 years old now, just trying to recover from yet another very emotional relationship break up, and I'm now wondering if I will ever meet anyone to share my life with. It is cutting me to pieces, really, destroying me right this second.... and I have no-one I can chat with really. I have realised that virtually everyone I regarded as friends, they aren't friends really, not true friends, they are just users.

I really don't want to come across as someone that blames everyone else for my problems, as that isn't the case. I have made mistakes in life, of course I have, I am human. I could have tried harder here and there, I know...... but in my defence, I am a good person, intelligent, kind and helpful and always there for others when they need a friend.

I just think I was dealt a crap hand in life, I had no say in this, that really annoys me and there is nothing I can, or could have done to change any of it. Now, I am living the end result and I hate it!

I just want real friends, and someone special in my life......

Is that too much to ask for in life?





 

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I'm sorry to hear about these. And no, they are not too much to ask for. You can't change the things that have happened but you are living now. Don't dwell on the past. Focus on what you want now and how to achieve them. Seriously, though, I am crappy at taking my own advice. :p

Btw, in your picture it looks like you were smiling? Maybe? :)

EDIT: Forgot to welcome you. Welcome to the forums.
 
Good advice OC1355, and I know you are right. I just find it impossible to work out how to claw myself out of this naff situation! I need a magic wand but don't know where to buy one!
 
Yes, I agree. Naff? Sorry I am a youngster. But that is no excuse. I am just stupid. :D
 
Hi, I am new to this site too. I am hoping that by opening up to other people I may be able to escape my own problems and share some good conversations and some smiles.

I often ask myself the same qustions as you; 'I want some real friends and someone special in my life too.' Is this too much to ask for in life? Deep down in my heart I believe that the answer is 'No.' It's not too much to ask because I am one of those people searching for the very same thing...

You sound like a genuine person with great attributes. I am sorry to hear about your past. I had a bad childhood myself and although our circumstances were quite different, it too scarred me in later years and still does to this day. It's crazy how something so long ago has a profound and lasting effect on us as adults hey? But I try and fight every day determined not to be a victim in life. I find that if I can find one thing, no matter how small worth fighting for then it's a step in the right direction and then I can only hope to build on it- like today, I have taken a step to talk to you. You gotta take a grasp of life and not let it grasp you.

Hey, 'you' are the magic wand! ;)

Ps. I am crappy at taking my own advice as well!!
 
I need real friends said:
I just want real friends, and someone special in my life......

Is that too much to ask for in life?

I'd like to say 'No' but, to be honest, it's something I ask myself all the time too. I hope you find what you need.

Good luck.
 

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